After the huge response I received from my readers about BDSM and Body Image, I wanted to expand on that and give you some extra tips you can try to help yourself or your sub gain confidence and a better acceptance of their own bodies.
After 40 years of being female, I've come to the conclusion that a healthy, positive body image is hard to find, and neither caftans nor liposuction nor photo-shopping is the answer. Feeling good in your skin has nothing to do with whether you’re a size 2 or 22; it’s all about having a positive body image.
Having a poor body image means that you view your body in a negative light. You look at yourself and see only the negative. This often occurs when people with low self-esteem only see their physical flaws, most often when they look in the mirror.
If you are into the BDSM scene, most likely you are going to be naked any number of times. The first thing you have to remember is that your Dominant loves how you look. He has taken you as his submissive. He is proud of you and who you are. Take a moment to think about that. Really absorb it.
When using a mirror, look at your body in its entirety.
Try not to look at your body as individual parts. Don’t use a magnifying mirror when you look at your face. Look in the mirror and observe your whole body. When you do this, you might like what you see. Be at peace with your self-image by giving the mirror a rest.Stay off the scale.
Daily fluctuations in water weight can tip the scale up to five pounds in either direction, so if you step on the scale every day, you might be tempted to micromanage yourself. If you need to monitor your weight to stay on track or maintain, set aside a weekly or bi-weekly time to step on the scale. And don’t weigh yourself the week before your period, because you’ll most likely put on two to five pounds of water weight then. If you think you can do without the scale altogether, toss it and just go by how your clothes fit and how you feel.Throw away your ideas of “normal.”
Serena Williams and Arnold Schwarzenegger (whose BMIs are 32 and 33, respectively) are both considered “obese” according to the accepted healthy range of 18.5-24.9. But neither one is anywhere near fat. Remember that everyone is built differently, with different heights, bone densities, and amounts of muscle (which weighs more than fat) on their bodies. Just because your friend is a size 4 to 6 doesn’t mean that’s the right place for you to be.Notice that there are all types of bodies in all shapes, sizes and skin tones.
What you see in the media is not a representation of the human race. Appreciate the differences you see around you and appreciate your own individual looks.Heal your body image by taking note of how you talk to yourself about your body and change it if necessary.
Instead of, “I’m so fat and ugly, I hate myself,” tell yourself, “I have beautiful eyes and I am a good friend. The package may not be perfect, but it does need to be loved.”Take sexy pictures that show you in your most positive light.
Set up a camera with a self timer or ask a friend or Dominant take pictures of you with your hair and makeup done and in lingerie or skimpy clothing that all help to accentuate your body. Pick a couple of the images and put them on your cell phone or your laptop, anywhere you can access them easily. Look at them at different times during the day to reassure yourself how beautiful you are in your own skin.I hope these extra tips and insights help all of you no matter your gender or body type love yourself more. We are all beautiful in our own way. Always remember that.
Also remember, the more confident and sexy you as a submissive feel, the more free you will be to serve your Dominant because the huge weight of self consciousnesses won't be hanging around your neck.
Post title: " Part 2 - BDSM and Body Image "
About The Author
Post title: " Part 2 - BDSM and Body Image "
Posted by Michelle Fegatofi at 4/18/2013 06:58:00 PM April 18, 2013
Tell a friend about us, add a link to this page. Share this post or email it to a friend. Become a follower of the blog and of our various social media pages.
We love to hear from you! Your thoughts, your questions, even your unfavourable opinions will help us to write more.
Drop a comment below, tell us what you think!
By commenting, sharing, and pinning, you are helping us grow! Also, check the notify button to know when your comment is replied.
Thank you for being part of our journey! And thanks for reading!
Thank you for being part of our journey! And thanks for reading!
Sometimes, when you spend a lot of time arguing back against the naysayers, your opinions and understanding of your experiences become more severe and immovable.
ReplyDeleteI like, a lot, that you've written about body image and kink, and in a broadly accessible way. I have issue with the way the word "fat" is used, here-ish and in many other places IRL and online.
See, fat doesn't mean ugly. I'm one of those girls who gets told "Oh, you're not fat, you're beautiful!" When folks say this, or think it generally about other fats, they mean "I don't associate you with the half dozen negative attributes that I associate with the word fat."
Well, that's not healthy, and it's part of the thousand tiny cuts. We can adjust ourselves in writing and verbally, and make our behaviors our thoughts, by not using fat as a synonym for lazy, uneducated, boring, ugly, unwanted, etc. It's an adjective that describes a physical characteristic, and we can choose to give it no more power than the colour blue or the shape of a pear.
Anwya, mini rant I felt like adding. Wahoo.
I believe this is going to help me immensely ....... Thank you so much .....
ReplyDelete