Michelle Fegatofi

Now that the Christmas season is over, I’ve noticed that traffic is picking back up in Lifestyle related groups, as well as on my own sites. There’s been a mix of old and new people coming together to discuss BDSM subjects. One recurring theme I have seen pop up a couple of times over the past few weeks is the phrase “My Dominant/Master knows me better than I know myself”. This made me stop and think. I have seen this phrase used by mainly newer subs that are in online only relationships. That’s why this phrase stood out and bugged me so much.

Could this be true? I know my Padrone knows my moods, likes, wants, needs, and even health related problems inside out, because we’ve been together for 6 1/2 years now. But, I can’t honestly say that he knows me better than I know myself. Even as close as we are in thoughts, morals, and personal likes and interests, there is still no way he can know me better than I know me. The reason is simple. He is not a mind reader. While he comes extremely close most of the time, it’s because we’ve been together for so long and communicate well. When we have disagreements and I get emotional, there’s no way he could have any idea about what is going through my head.

You are probably wondering why such a simple phrase could get me so aggravated. Here’s why. I’ve read many posts where a new submissive will say that she’s in a relationship with her Dominant and they have no limits. The Dominant will end up taking over large portions of the sub’s life and giving her rules and boundaries that do not take into account her own personal needs or preferences. These Dominants usually end up leaving the sub before 6 months and the sub is left feeling broken. The submissives end up blaming themselves for everything that went wrong because they really thought that the Dominant knew them better than themselves and they gave up who they were to please that person.

In a relationship, there will always be learning curves and compromises. Especially in a BDSM dynamic, a Limits list is the minimum a new couple should fill in. I really encourage you to fill in a contract as well. Why? Because this will ensure that everybody in the relationship is on the same page. Contracts can and should be reviewed and revised as the relationship progresses. Things change in time.

A bottom, no matter what title they go by, should always maintain a sense of self, even when in the depths of consensual slavery. Why? Because we are human beings first. We are all individuals. No two people are exactly alike in their thinking or preferences. That’s impossible. Even identical twins have different personalities.

What I’m saying is that even if your Dominant/Master is very good in predicting/understanding your moods/needs, it doesn’t mean that they know exactly what is in your heart and soul. They will never be able to know you better than you do, especially if you pay attention to your body and mind.

Protect yourself and make sure you take care of your own self first because in doing so, you can take better care of your Dominant/Master.

Thoughts? Please leave us a comment below!

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Michelle Fegatofi

I Am A Submissive Woman

i find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive

to my Master in a loving relationship.

i am not weak or stupid. i am a strong woman,

with firm views and a clear concept of what i want out of my life.

i do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength.

i will look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never

will i be more complete than when He is with me.

i know that He will protect my body, my mind, and my soul

with His strength and wisdom.

He is everything to me, as i am everything to Him.

His touch awakens me and His thoughts free me.

Only in serving Him do i find complete freedom and joy…

His punishments may be harsh, but i accept them thankfully,

knowing that He has my best interests always foremost in His mind.

If He desires my body for pleasure, i shall joyfully give it to Him

and take pleasure myself from knowing that i have brought Him happiness.

However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of O/our relationship.

The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt,

those are all parts of this relationship.

My body is His, and if He says i am beautiful, then i am.

No matter what i look like to others, i am beautiful in His eyes,

and because of that i hold my head high.

If He says i am His precious jewel,

then i am that…a beautiful, sparkling gem.

If He says that i am His pet, His slut, His whore, then i am that..

as wanton and dirty as He wants me to be.

My mind is His, to expand, to explore, to know only as He can.

i have no secrets from Him… for secrets are a thing that would

keep me from being more perfectly His.

Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself…

and i do not want walls.

His lessons are not always ones i would seek on my own,

but they are lessons He has decided that i need, and so i learn from Him.

My soul is His, as bare to His touch as ever my skin could be

when i kneel naked at His feet.

Never a moment goes by when i do not feel His presence,

be He miles away or standing over me.

If i were to ever displease Him, His displeasure would be a blow to my soul,

worse punishment than any lashes could be.

The anguish of my soul that i feel when i disappoint Him

is harder to bear than any physical anguish i feel.

i am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend

His time and energy so freely on me.

i have the easier job, to feel, to experience,

to let myself go and abandon everything to Him.

i am His pleasure and His responsibility, and He takes both seriously .

i am a submissive woman.

i am proud to call myself that, my submission is a gift that i do not give lightly,

and can only be given to the One who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.

Only to my Master who has that strength, will i give myself fully,

because i am strong and proud.

i am a submissive woman.

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Michelle Fegatofi

I promised to give you all a sneak preview of the Table of Contents for my new book, Unveiled - The Secret Submissive Within.
I'm very proud to announce it here today! Let me know what you think! Look for more updates as the release date draws nearer!

Let me hear your thoughts on the content. Leave your comments below! 

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Michelle Fegatofi

A Loving Master

by Michelle Fegatofi

When I am serving Him, I am free,

When I am kneeling to Him, I am me.

When I feel His pride in my submission, I am elated,

When I know He is happy, the pride I feel inside can’t be stated.

When He looks at me with love and authority, my soul soars,

When He puts His hand on my head, he touches me to my core.

When I’m flying high, He tethers me to the ground,

When I am scared, He protects me all around.

When I am weak, He always gives me His strength,

When I need to talk, He always listens to me at length.

When I doubt myself, He always holds me high,

When I am in tears, He holds me tight and lets me cry. 

He is my Master, my one and true guide, 

He is the only one from whom I will never have a reason to hide. 

He is the center, the one that my world revolves around, 

He is the one to whom I will always and forever remain bound.

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Michelle Fegatofi

After a while, even with the kink that goes on in a BDSM relationship, things can become routine.

A spanking is just another spanking, or serving becomes so routine you can do it with out thought. In time, all relationships can get into a rut. Here are some things you might try to spice up your relationship with your Dom or sub partner.

All the Kink, but None of the Thrill

If you are a couple that incorporates some or many BDSM toys in your daily or weekly sex life and you or your partner are not getting the same thrill or zing from it, it may be time to go back to basics. 

Recently, I received an email from a fan that was having trouble achieving an orgasm. She stated that her Dom uses the same toys every session, even if in different orders, and that he uses many different ones. I recommended them going back to basics. 

See, the human body has many pleasure and pain points. There are many toys on the market (bondage, vibrators, clamps, blindfolds, dildos, floggers, paddles, etc...) that do very good jobs at enhancing sexual arousal and pleasure. But, if you use all of the toys mentioned above for every scene or session, after time, depending on the person, it can become routine and your body gets used to them. 

I suggested she set down with her Dominant and discuss this problem. She did and they got rid of all but one toy and decided to change up the toys from scene to scene and to sometimes leave them out all together, using only hands and the ability to obey, as their "tools". I received an email about 3 weeks later and she said that it worked! She had orgasmed every time. 

Back to Basics Suggestions:

If you are used to letting toys do the work of arousing and teasing your sub, then you should learn or re-learn to use your mind, body and voice as your only tools. 

Voice - Use your most dominant sounding voice to command your sub to stay in certain positions (on all fours, flat on back knees raised, arms to the side, standing at attention legs wide apart, etc...). The sound and power that comes from a natural dominant's commands will sink into a sub's mind and stimulate not only her need and wish to submit to whatever you say, but will also activate her sexual desires as well. Remember, the mind is the most sensual sexual organ we possess.

Body - Use your hands to tease the sub's body. Play with her breasts and nipples, touching light to hard. Experiment with lightly touching her with just your fingertips all over her body while she is laying still and commanded not to move. Use your lips to nibble and reign kisses all over her neck, arms, legs, and torso (front and back) while skipping over her clit and nipples. This builds anticipation and will be unexpected. Have her lay on her stomach with legs spread and lay down on top of her, teasing her vagina with your penis without actually inserting it. Play with her. Enjoy the feeling of your skin on hers. Of the differences between the two of you and how wonderful you both feel touching each other. 

Mind - This is your biggest asset, because this is where all the feelings and stimulus that you are doing to her body end up going. Use your imagination. Allow yourself to act out your fantasies with her. Get into her mind, make it sensual and sexy. Make her feel deeply how much you want her by showing her physically and telling her verbally. 

Sometimes we forget how to actually connect with our partners without using toys, bondage, or other stimuli. Even if you aren't having issues because of incorporating too many things, take a step back every now and then and embrace a simpler but very sexy and sensual form of sex. 

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Michelle Fegatofi

In response to all the groups who feel BDSM and Dominant/submissive relationships in general are demeaning or violence against women, I have to speak my mind, which is my opinion as a respected member of our community, and as a Master.

I would like to explain so others may better understand several things:
(for reference - Dom/mes is the collective term for male and female Dominants within our lifestyle)

First: If in fighting for women's rights, you take away their right to live as they choose to live of their own free will, you may be much more oppressive than you believe us to be. We as Dom/mes look for strong-minded people who can make the informed decision to submit. There is nothing gained by imposing control over people too weak to stand up for themselves; quite often Dom/mes stand up for those too weak or unwilling to do so. We guide those who lack strength away from predators and help them find pride and strength within themselves.

Second: We are not demeaning to women; we work very hard to provide an environment that instills pride, growth and self-confidence. We have great respect for those who choose to live this lifestyle, especially the submissives we love so much. They give us the greatest gift imaginable... themselves, fully and completely, knowing we respect them and honor the gift they choose to give. This gift is something we as Dom/mes know can be taken away if we don't hold it sacred.

Third: These groups that oppose us living the way we choose often claim that Dom/mes are uncaring people. For those people I can only say, you will never know how deeply we are connected to each other. It is because of how much we love that we are able to give so much of ourselves to the care and needs of our submissive. Outsiders have no clue how much time and effort goes into building the trust required for this lifestyle to work, not just in the beginning, but always.

Also: We are not violent. We do not act out of rage or even anger. In order to accept control over another, we must be in control of ourselves. Many of us stand strong opposing domestic violence. Pain does not equal violence. Serious questions here: Who among you has enjoyed a little hair tug or smack on the butt during sex, whether giving or receiving? How about a nibble that gets a little rougher than usual? Nails scratching down your back in ecstasy? Maybe you like hands pinned to the bed while staring deeply into your lover’s eyes; have you ever realized this is a form of dominance, and even bondage? Kinky is quite natural, even normal for people to want to feel this way.

Next: We are not barbarians; the majority of male Dominants are very much gentlemen. We open doors, pull out chairs, bring home flowers, and sweep them off their feet with a kiss when we return home.

After that I need to address another point: Not all Dominants are men. There are many Dommes and Mistresses, many of which have male submissives. They also operate at the highest of respect when it comes to their relationships. How can women's rights groups attack a lifestyle that is so accepting of 'equal opportunity'? We don't discriminate against anyone. In fact, you'd be hard-pressed to find a group or community more open-minded than within BDSM.

Finally: I'd like to address the thought of people leading the weak like sheep. Sheep are uninformed animals. They follow wherever they are led, blindly, without question or concern for themselves or others. They seek no knowledge, only doing as they have been led to do. I challenge anyone not informed of our lifestyle to become informed, to quit being led like sheep, uninformed yet following a cause when you don't truly understand what it is against. People, who follow causes without knowledge of what they are fighting against, are essentially consensual slaves, though a less informed slave than any within our lifestyle. -- Blac Talon

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Michelle Fegatofi

If you don't already know, bondage is the activity of restraining people for mutual erotic pleasure-tying someone up, locking them in chains, cuffs or collars, or using more esoteric forms of restraint--it's fun, can be incredibly hot and is a huge turn-on for a lot of people.

Per one well known source, the Kinsey Institute, 12% of females and 22% of males respond erotically to S&M. Studies vary, but another one (Lowe, 1983) had it that 5-10% of the U.S. engages in SM for sexual pleasure on at least an occasional basis. It also said that 11% of men and 17% of women reported at least trying bondage, so it follows that these people thought it might be a turn on. It is nothing new, but seems to be growing.

Just look at the massive (and growing) amount of bondage-related images in pop culture these days--movies, TV and music videos--and you can see that people are awakening to this side of sexuality. If you ever found yourself watching a movie with slightly more than causal interest when the girl or guy was tied up or had a collar locked around their neck or was locked in a prison cell, then you probably know a bit about this already.

Bondage as a sexual activity first came to notice in Japan in the late Edo period. Generally recognized as "father of Kinbaku" is Seiu Ito, who started studying and researching Hojōjutsu is credited with the inception of Kinbaku, though it is noted that he drew inspiration from other art forms of the time including Kabuki theatre and Ukiyoe woodblock prints. Kinbaku became widely popular in Japan in the 1950s through magazines such as Kitan Club and Yomikiri Romance, which published the first naked bondage photographs. In the 1960s, people such as Eikichi Osada began to appear performing live SM shows often including a large amount of rope bondage, today these performers are often referred to as Nawashi (rope master) or Bakushi (from kinbakushi, meaning bondage master).

The ropes used come in a variety of materials and length. Japanese bondage traditionally uses natural fibers such as hemp and jute which are cut to approximately 25 foot lengths. American-style bondage typically uses longer ropes that span a wider variety of materials.

An important part of rope bondage is the rope dress, which is not of itself a form of restraint, but may be used either by itself as an adornment, or as a basis for restraining bondage.

There are two main names used in the BDSM community today for rope bondage - Kinbaku and Shibari. There is much discussion about the distinction between shibari and kinbaku, and whether one term is more appropriate than another. One modern distinction which is gaining popularity is that shibari refers to purely artistic, aesthetic rope, whilst kinbaku refers to the artistic, connective, sensual, sexual practice as a whole.

A traditional view is that the term 'shibari' is a wrong Western Japonism. The word denotes tying in Japanese, but in a generic way, and traditionally not in the context of bondage. The names for many particular ties include 'shibari', but it is not traditional to call the entire activity that way. Instead, Kinbaku is the term for artistic or erotic tying within traditional Japanese rope bondage circles.

However, this is a somewhat hidebound definition and the word shibari is now increasingly being re-imported from the West to Japan, as the tying communities are very much interconnected. Most Japanese kinbakushi do not object to the term shibari, as it's common vernacular in the global community.

Kinbaku Technique

Kinbaku means 'tight binding'. Kinbaku is a Japanese style of bondage or BDSM which involves tying up the bottom using simple, yet visually intricate patterns, usually with several pieces of thin rope. The allusion is to the use of hemp rope for restraining prisoners, as a symbol of power, in the same way that stocks or manacles are used in a Western BDSM context.

Traditional Kinbaku is based on fairly specific rope patterns, most of them derived from Hojojutsu ties. Of particular importance are the Ushiro Takatekote (a type of arm box tie), which forms the basis of most Kinbaku ties, and the Ebi, or "Shrimp", which was originally designed as a torture tie but today makes the bottom vulnerable for more pleasant forms of play.

For historic reasons, Kinbaku uses very few knots, sometimes none at all, or only a cow hitch or an overhand knot. This requires rope with high friction. According to Sensei Nawa Yumio in his 1964 classic book on Torinawa, knots on a person was regarded as extremely disgraceful, something some would regard as worse than death. Restraints with no knots were not considered "bondage" and there was no shame in such; therefore, "wrappings" were used.

A Feeling of Wonder

So what does it actually feel like to be tied in a technique that’s so infused in history, secrecy, sensuality and mysticism? The tension in the rope, controlled entirely by the rigger, becomes a link between the two of you, so being tied feels like an all-over embrace. As the cords tighten around you the rope artist actually employs Shiatsu techniques (a type of Japanese massage) on specific pressure points. The roughness of the natural fibers in hemp or jute rope gives you goose-bumps as it slowly trails across your skin.

You fall into a trance-like state of deep relaxation and euphoria known as ‘rope space’, which for me feels similar to ‘sub space’ but without the sexual charge. Flooded with endorphins, your muscles relax and your speech slurs, if you can speak at all. You submit yourself entirely to the ecstasy of being bound. And all that, just from a piece of rope in the right hands - usually without any sexual touching at all.

Safety Considerations

There are several safety issues to consider when playing bondage games, concerning consent, abuse, and physical injuries. If you don't feel safe with something then don't do it, there are hundreds of other things you can do instead.

This is NOT something to try with someone you've just met. You really don't know whether they are trustworthy or not until you know them better, however charming they may seem at first.

• Never let a partner coerce or bully you into any sexual practice that you don't want to do. It's perfectly OK to say no, a decent lover will understand.
• Talk about it beforehand and discuss what you plan to do. Say what you will or will not allow. These rules and limits are sacred and must not be broken during the game.
• Have a safe word agreed before you begin. This is something that the passive partner can say if they want the other person to stop, a common safe word is 'enough'. The active partner must then stop what they are doing immediately, and release the passive partner within seconds.
• Never tie something around someone's neck unless it is a collar that's specially made for the purpose. There is a high risk of tissue damage, choking, or fatal strangulation. Similarly, gags are potentially dangerous.
• If someone is tied up, they must never be left alone. The active partner must make sure they are comfortable, breathing properly, and that nothing is cutting off their circulation.
• Do not try bondage in a remote place, just in case there is an accident that leaves the active partner injured and the passive partner tied up with no way of getting help.
• If you've never tried bondage before, don't go straight into anything that uses complicated equipment. This is for experts only and has extra safety issues that you may not understand.
• The rules of safer sex still apply. Use condoms for penetrative sex. Drink and drugs can cause you to seriously underestimate safety risks. Avoid intoxication.

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Michelle Fegatofi

Many new people to the world of BDSM don't have the education and/or experience to tell the difference of what is considered 'normal' and what is abuse in the BDSM Lifestyle.

Here is a list of things to look out for that are obvious signs of an Abuser posing as a Dominant.

• Controlling behavior due to fear of losing their partner.
• Isolating the submissive from family and friends
• Discouraging self sufficient behavior
• Not allowing any social interaction which does not include the Dominant
• Out of control jealousy
• Explosive temper
• Behaves like a spoiled child when not getting his/her way
• Abuses drugs/alcohol
• Does not take responsibility for mistakes
• Uses unhealthy behavior to gain control over the submissive
• Emotional Blackmail - example: Keeping the submissive in a constant state of fear that the relationship will end if they don't get their way.
• Emotional Withdrawal - example: Using the "silent treatment" or physically withdrawing and cutting off all contact rather than communicating and taking responsibility for the situation.
• Withdrawal of affection
• Refusing any/all intimacy as a punishment which can be quite damaging and reinforces the fear that the submissive will lose the relationship unless he/she gives into this type of blackmail.

If your Dominant shows any of these signs on a consistent basis, please seek advice or help from experienced Dominants or subs to get an unbiased opinion of the situation.

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Michelle Fegatofi

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Michelle Fegatofi

Respect is very important in the lifestyle.
A Master’s place is above a submissive or slave and when you are a slave, your place is of complete submission. A Master is very flexible and fair, but rules are important. One of the biggest rules is respect for your Master and those around Him at all times. Failure to do so not only embarrasses those around you, but your Master as well. To embarrass your Master is to cause shame not only on Him but yourself. You represent your Master and if He is not pleased then you are not worthy of His presence.

Sometimes we say things that are mean or hurtful during an argument or disagreement. We also might be very disrespectful or thoughtless with our choice of words if we are stressed or sick. But, as submissives or slaves, we have an extra responsibility to ourselves, our training, and most of all, our Dominants, to think before we speak, even in highly volatile or emotional periods.

Words have power. People are pretty careless with the words they choose when in an emotional or stressful situation. Your words will define who you are and who you are not. Contrary to what many people think, once the words are out of your mouth, no amount of apologizing will put them back in. I know it is really hard to stop when you are so pissed off at your Dominant during an argument, but it is your duty to think. Just because you are in a highly emotional state, don’t ruin your relationship or get your collar taken away by being so careless with your words.

Being a sub or slave means to give all of yourself and to be an example to those around you. Behaving in a manner not befitting a slave shows your training and extends to your Master. People will think of Him as to soft and unworthy of leadership. Therefore a slave should always behave and become a model for others to follow. Master's teachings should be ever present in her everyday activities including in public.

If you are out without your Master, you should always remember what you were taught and your guidelines of how to react if certain situations arise. Even if your Master is not with you and there is no way he would ever find out about your behavior, it is your duty to watch your words, actions, and the way you present yourself to the world because you are a reflection of Him.

I am not saying that you should not defend yourself if you are verbally assaulted or someone says something rude to you, but take the high road and don’t stoop to that level. If you can, just walk away because you are better than getting into street arguments.

The main thing to remember is to always think before you speak. Always remember your place and the respect you have for you Master and yourself.

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Michelle Fegatofi

Many of you have read about the Gorean Lifestyle while researching BDSM or reading my blog.
I didn't realize that I had not done a more in depth post about it to explain what it is. I hope this helps you understand it more.

In 1967 John Norman (real name John Frederick Lange Jr.) released a book called Tarnsman of Gor, a book detailing life on Gor and its inhabitants. This turned into a series with 26 books in print today, called Chronicles of Gor. His books are carefully detailed that explain everything from Gorean food to Gorean rituals, and focus on adventures in Gor and the natural role of genders. Gorean philosophy believes that men have a natural drive to dominate women; women have a strong desire to submit to men and give up their rights. Women are either free or enslaved, but free women can be enslaved at any time.

The majority of Goreans who pursue a "lifestyle" approach often do not consider what they do to be BDSM. However, they are generally considered part of the "kinky" subculture. In that context, they reject the idea of isolated "scenes". Instead, their practices may be described as 24/7, dominance & submission, and/or Total Power Exchange relationships. BDSM concepts of servitude and slavery typically play a key role in Gorean dynamics.

Gor is comparatively more intense than other lifestyles, because Gor does not depend on scening. People who follow Gor do not consider it to be a role-play, or a scene, but in fact say that they are leading the lifestyle - which cannot be denied because there are after all twenty seven books that outline the life and times of the Gorean region.

There are Gorean role players, both online and in real life, who play a "role" of a Gorean, usually having to do with masters and slaves. What makes someone a role player is that this isn't really how they live their real life, and they differentiate between Gor and reality. They often refer to "Gor" or being "in Gor" as opposed to being in reality. It is like a part time thing or a hobby for these individuals.

There are many Goreans out there that don't just role-play the Gorean lifestyle, many of them not being role-players at all. In fact, they live the Gorean life on a 24/7 basis. They too call themselves Goreans and they too subscribe to the principles described in the books written by John Norman.

Most Goreans live a counter version of the BDSM Master/slave lifestyle that is filled with rules and protocols defined in the books of Gor. The books give them a rule set so to speak to define their lifestyle dynamic. A dynamic that any Gorean you talk to is likely to say, they'd practice it no other way.

Most of these households, groups and "camps" seem to focus mainly on the "Warrior" and Master/slave aspects of the books, and many have gone far beyond the bounds of legality or what most of us see as sanity or reason in terms of that they deem acceptable in their actions and dealings with others.

Philosophy of Gorean Slavery

• Goreans believe that women have a natural desire to be slaves. Every woman has this desire.

• Women have a huge desire to please men. They strive for perfection. They want to be submissive. Women want to be controlled by men. A man's word is final.

• Gor strictly believes in the 'natural order'. There aren't any exceptions to this rule. Men always dominate, women always submit.

• All women 'beg the collar' (desire a master). Women slaves are collared once owned and beg to
  be owned, according to Gorean philosophy.

• Masters consider their slaves property. They are to keep their property in top condition. If slaves don't meet their standards, they are disciplined. This involves punishment, including imprisonment and whippings.

• Although Gorean philosophy says that all women have rights, free women can be enslaved at any time.

  

Types of Gorean Slaves

• White Silk Slaves: A woman slave who hasn't lost her virginity. This is indicated by tying a white ribbon to her collar.
  

• Red Silk Slaves: A woman slave that has had sex. This is indicated by tying a red ribbon to her collar.
  

Slaves are separated into these categories:

• Pleasure Slave: A slave trained in the arts of pleasure, including slave dance, slave positions (note: these are not sexual positions, but positions used in their culture), cooking, being pleasant, and sexual services.

• Passion Slave: A slave trained and used for sexual services only.

• Feast Slaves: A slave that serves food along with other personal services decide by their master.

• Serving Slaves: A slave usually owned by a woman master. They prepare warm baths, help remove clothing, comb hair, and complete most domestic chores.

• House Girls: Same as Serving Slaves, but they only complete domestic chores. They are owned
  by Masters. 

This does not include all categories. Gorean slaves typically wear a tunic and a collar. Followers of Gor believe Gorean slaves have rights of being a woman. They want to perform, act, and be a woman. Being a woman, according to Gorean philosophy, is pleasing a man in various ways.

Rights of a Gorean Slave

• Once you are a Gorean slave, you lose all human rights. Anything you did before enslavement is erased from your past. You are not to talk about it, since your identity is kajira, a slave.

• Slaves aren't seen as people. They are, according to Gorean followers, human animals.

• Masters make decisions for them. They lose rights to their name. Their master chooses their name, although slaves are not allowed to refer to themselves by name.

• Their master can discipline or destroy their property at any time. Gorean law fully supports this.

• A kajira's only goal in life is to bring pleasure and comfort to their master.

• There are different types of women slaves. Some slaves purely serve as sexual objects, while others are masterful at cooking.

• Slaves do not question anything. They do as they are told. Refusal to do anything results in discipline.

• Slaves must strive for perfection.

• Not only must slaves do their work well, but it must be done in a feminine, graceful way that expresses their sexuality.

• Gorean women retain the right to refuse slavery. If a master wants to enslave a woman and she refuses, however, she may be killed.

As you can see, there are many differences in being a Gorean kajira and a BDSM submissive/slave. Which and how you choose to practice either Lifestyle is up to you.

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