Hello everyone!
I know I haven’t been posting much this year but I have a very good reason. In January, I was having many health issues that needed to be addressed. Many of them were caused by my complete lack of exercise and the types of foods I was eating. Being sick so often was also affecting my ability to perform my submissive/slave duties. I decided that I didn't want to be that way so started on a personal journey to get healthier and it's turned into a Life Transformation.
I went from 92 kilos (203 pounds) to weighing 71.7 kilos (158 pounds). Most of my recurring health issues have vanished and I feel so much better. Since I am now 45, I also wanted to do what I can starting now to try to ensure a healthy and active lifestyle for the rest of my life, as much as possible anyway.
In March, my Padrone was rushed to the hospital and had to stay for 8 days while being diagnosed with multiple health problems of his own. He had to stop smoking cold turkey (after over 40 years of smoking), completely change his diet, start exercising, lose weight and start taking a lot of medicine, of which he will most likely never be able to get off of.
One thing he was diagnosed with was Type 2 Diabetes. He has to take 3 pills a day to help control his high blood sugar. This pills have made his sense of taste turn very strange. Food he liked before the medicine, he can't stand to eat now. And food he may like one day, may taste very strange to him the next. So, this is another of the ongoing struggles that have put stress on us and we deal with together every day.
I have not been that active in the Lifestyle groups as I was the past years because we have been focusing on our health. Now we are at a place where we can continue on our health journey but also return our focus back to our BDSM Lifestyle.
You may or may not have noticed but Facebook has been getting more and more strict with their rules and taking BDSM related pages down for stupid reasons, even for pictures that absolutely do not violate their rules. This year alone, I have had many of my admin accounts put in FB jail as well as my 2 largest pages completely unpublished and deleted. Every time this happens, I have to start over from scratch! I still have a few pages left so I hope that you go and like and follow them to show FB that we won't be silenced, no matter how many times they try to.
My goal for the rest of this year as far as the Lifestyle is concerned is to start writing more blogs on topics that not many people actually touch on across the internet.
If you have any questions that you would like to see my answer to, please write me at bdsmunveiled@gmail.com. I will try to answer them as best and fast as I can. And don't worry, anonymity is guaranteed.
Thank you for those of you that have continued to stay followers of the blog! We appreciate you so much for your loyalty and for not giving up on us.
Stay tuned for new and exiting things to come!
I know I haven’t been posting much this year but I have a very good reason. In January, I was having many health issues that needed to be addressed. Many of them were caused by my complete lack of exercise and the types of foods I was eating. Being sick so often was also affecting my ability to perform my submissive/slave duties. I decided that I didn't want to be that way so started on a personal journey to get healthier and it's turned into a Life Transformation.
I went from 92 kilos (203 pounds) to weighing 71.7 kilos (158 pounds). Most of my recurring health issues have vanished and I feel so much better. Since I am now 45, I also wanted to do what I can starting now to try to ensure a healthy and active lifestyle for the rest of my life, as much as possible anyway.
In March, my Padrone was rushed to the hospital and had to stay for 8 days while being diagnosed with multiple health problems of his own. He had to stop smoking cold turkey (after over 40 years of smoking), completely change his diet, start exercising, lose weight and start taking a lot of medicine, of which he will most likely never be able to get off of.
One thing he was diagnosed with was Type 2 Diabetes. He has to take 3 pills a day to help control his high blood sugar. This pills have made his sense of taste turn very strange. Food he liked before the medicine, he can't stand to eat now. And food he may like one day, may taste very strange to him the next. So, this is another of the ongoing struggles that have put stress on us and we deal with together every day.
I have not been that active in the Lifestyle groups as I was the past years because we have been focusing on our health. Now we are at a place where we can continue on our health journey but also return our focus back to our BDSM Lifestyle.
You may or may not have noticed but Facebook has been getting more and more strict with their rules and taking BDSM related pages down for stupid reasons, even for pictures that absolutely do not violate their rules. This year alone, I have had many of my admin accounts put in FB jail as well as my 2 largest pages completely unpublished and deleted. Every time this happens, I have to start over from scratch! I still have a few pages left so I hope that you go and like and follow them to show FB that we won't be silenced, no matter how many times they try to.
My goal for the rest of this year as far as the Lifestyle is concerned is to start writing more blogs on topics that not many people actually touch on across the internet.
If you have any questions that you would like to see my answer to, please write me at bdsmunveiled@gmail.com. I will try to answer them as best and fast as I can. And don't worry, anonymity is guaranteed.
Thank you for those of you that have continued to stay followers of the blog! We appreciate you so much for your loyalty and for not giving up on us.
Stay tuned for new and exiting things to come!
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A couple of months ago during a Question and Answer session with a BDSM author in a Facebook group, he kept saying that roles and relationships in BDSM are an illusion, especially that of a BDSM slave or M/s relationship.
Many of us that actually live everyday life as a BDSM slave took great offense to this. How can someone that is a self proclaimed Dominant say that? Where is it written that someone else's reality is defined by others that have no clue as to how other people live?
Before I continue, I want to make sure that you understand the definitions of certain key words. An illusion is defined as something that deceives by producing a false or misleading impression of reality. Reality is defined as a state of things as they actually exist or a real thing or fact.
In the BDSM Lifestyle, I define a BDSM consensual slave as a submissive that is in a very deep form of submission to a Dominant (normally called a Master/Mistress). They are normally in a real life, long term BDSM relationship. They trust their Dominant so deeply that they willingly have given up all rights to make any decisions. While they may discuss things with the Dominant on various subjects, all final decisions are made by the Dom. Even if they work outside the home, there is no such thing as a non-BDSM day. If you would like to read and gain a deeper understanding of some of the differences between a submissive and a BDSM slave, read my earlier post here.
Slavery is defined as a state of subjugation or captivity against a person's free will. History is full of examples of slavery predating written history up to the United States in the 1800's. We have all read about the horrors inflicted on these peoples. The main difference you have to understand between a BDSM slave and one from history is that a BDSM slave gives up their rights to one person of their own free will (consensual) and a slave from ancient times did not.
The argument was made that a person can not be a BDSM slave in reality because slavery is illegal. He went on to say that if a real person was a slave, the Master/Mistress could sell, beat, damage or even kill that slave without any consequences of the law. This is why he calls BDSM slaves and Master/slave relationships an illusion. My question is who says the definition for the words slave and slavery can't be adapted or added on to as many other words have been over the years?
Those of us, myself included, that do define themselves as a BDSM slave and our relationship as a Master/slave relationship see it as reality, not illusion. For three years, I have proudly worn the slave collar my Padrone (Master) put on my neck to show the world that yes, I am owned by Him. While there are certain similarities to ancient slavery, such as showing ownership by a collar and the titles of slave and Master, BDSM slavery is not anything like real slavery of old.
As a BDSM slave, all decisions made for me by my Padrone are done so out of a deep level of love, respect and understanding. The very foundation of a Master/slave relationship is trust, open communication, and honesty. Is the love he has for me an illusion? Is the fact that I do follow his rules and guidelines every day without question an illusion? How about the fact that I trust him and his wisdom so completely that I never say no to anything he asks of me? Are these illusions? No. They are reality. My life, our life, is definitely reality, not illusion.
In various previous blog posts, I have talked about my own life as a real life 24/7 slave, different types of submissives, titles and classifications in BDSM, as well as traits of a submissive. I always begin or end them with the clarification that these are my own thoughts on the subject and that there are many other and diverse ways to view a particular subject. I have never said, and never will say, that anyone who's opinion differs from mine is an delusional or not living in reality, that what they think or believe is an illusion. Why? Because reality is real. My reality, my thoughts, are my own. My reality is not the same as yours.
Just because you may not think or live the same way as the person next to you does not make their life or thoughts illusions. As we evolve and time passes, definitions of words do expand to encompass new meanings or even completely change. Remember that everyone's life is a different reality.
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BDSM Consensual Slave: Illusion or Reality
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If you are new to the lifestyle or find yourself confused at times and reverting back and forth between BDSM and vanilla life, the following post should help you.
I have gotten many emails lately asking for advice on how to spice up or restart a D/s or M/s relationship. There have been many couples that start exploring the BDSM lifestyle after one of the partners had read an erotica book talking about the subject.
Here is an evolution of new couples entering into the BDSM lifestyle and what I have observed in talking to many different couples that approach me seeking advice. A couple will start playing with toys and move into bondage and start experimenting with various levels of S&M. By this time, they get a feel of who is more dominant and submissive. They assume one of the roles and start getting deeper into the D/s (mental and psychological) part of BDSM. During the first 3-6 months, the couple is very committed and focused on setting up their own rules, limits, punishments, etc. After a while, they start slacking off on punishments, rules, or playtime and have many periods of a vanilla relationship. The submissive usually is the first one to complain about the lessening of her rules or the change or lack of interest from the Dominant in making sure that she is following his set standards.
There are many reasons that this can happen. One party might not be as into it as they were at first because it takes work and discipline to keep up and maintain a true D/s or M/s relationship. Life events might throw many obstacles in the way and the relationship takes a back seat. Changes in feelings from one or both partners can also contribute to the slacking off of a D/s relationship.
In some cases, it is the submissive that changes the relationship. In today's society with work, children, and the general consensus of the population, it can be hard for a submissive, especially females to maintain a submissive mind. At work and at home, they are often tasked with leading or problem solving on their own, which leads to a more dominant state of mind.
Now, how can you combat these issues and maintain a somewhat consistent BDSM relationship while working, taking care of kids, and dealing with today's beliefs in popular society? There are many ways to keep a submissive mind and to stay focused on the D/s or M/s part of your relationship.
The number one rule is that you both have to be committed. One person can't stay in the Dominant or submissive state of mind while the other one is thinking vanilla. When you are together, you have to become used to automatically assuming the role of Dom or sub. After a while and consciously focusing on your role and responsibilities within that role, it will become habit or second nature to you.
As a submissive, there are several things you can do to help put yourself in or maintain a submissive state of mind. I suggest meditating every day when you first wake up or taking 10 minutes before your Dominant comes home to ready your mind. This can be especially helpful when you have been working all day or at home taking care of children.
During the day, most people work and aren't together. Utilizing technology such as cell phones, text messages, Instant messenger, GPS and cameras, you as a Dominant can maintain a sense of power over your sub throughout the day. This will give you a continuous feeling of your domination but also help your submissive maintain a secure feeling as well as a submissive state of mind. In a previous post, I go into great detail on utilizing technology.
One other mistake that I see many couples new to the lifestyle making quite often is by incorporating too many types of toys into a play session. While we all love our toys, sometimes using too many ones in a session can make the sub confused and uncomfortable. In some cases, it can make the sub feel disconnected to the Dominant, like he really isn't interested in her but just going through the motions. If this sounds like your relationship, take out the toys and get back to basics.
You might be surprised at how something so simple can bring a couple back together and back into the D/s or M/s harmony they seek.
What do you think about it? Comment and share this article on your social media accounts or email it to a friend!
Difficulties In Maintaining a True D/s Relationship
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Wikipedia describes Mental BDSM as the collection of activities intended to create a psychological impact, often without a physical component. Another noteworthy but controversial example is the 'mind fuck', wherein a state of confusion and/or psychological conflict is intentionally created. While mental 'players' have considerably less documented material to study, an active Internet community and classes offered through local groups and conventions, provide many learning opportunities.
Mental submission is the act of submitting in your mind to the will of another. It is a decision made of a person's own free will after they have met someone they completely trust, they can communicate openly with, and have the need and desire to submit to. They only make this decision after careful consideration and after time has passed.
Mental submission might come in many forms and for different reasons. Some people meet online and connect deeply but live in different places so can't be together physically. Others may have physical limitations that don't allow them to kneel, perform scenes, or practice the more physical acts often associated with BDSM. In these cases, mental submission may be the only option for them to experience a BDSM Lifestyle.
Now, some of you may argue that it's not 'real BDSM' if that physical part is not there. I don't agree. Scientific studies have shown that sex is 90% mental with 10% physical stimulation. Let's look at a different example: Age. When we get older, our bodies are not able to function at 60 the same way they did at 40 or 20. There are more limitations that we have to endure and work around, even if in our own minds we think we can still do whatever we did the past 40 years. It's just not physically possible. If you read my past posts on BDSM and aging, you will understand my reasons better. People over 60 still want and do have sex. They just do it less often than a horny 20 year old. They connect on a much deeper level than that of younger generations. Mentally, they are perfectly able to submit to someone that is Dominant. Does that mean someone that's older can't still practice BDSM? No.
Mental submission has always been around but not as prevalent as it is now. With the invention of the internet, smart phones, and video chats, technology has enabled more people to explore the world of BDSM. The internet gives those that are shy, scared or just curious, the ability to seek out knowledge and have talks with real life practicing subs, about the Lifestyle.
I have written many different articles about online BDSM and various aspects of it. This is always a hot topic and new points of views are always emerging from it. If you are one of those that carry the attitude that a 'real BDSM relationship' can only be carried out if the people see each other in real life, I hope this article gives you a new way of viewing BDSM in this new world.
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Many of you have asked me when my first book, BDSM Basics for Beginners - A Guide for Dominants and Submissives Starting to Explore the Lifestyle, will be available on Kindle and I am proud to announce that it finally is!
Follow this link to Kindle books to download your copy today! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00F6K25WU
If you don't have a Kindle, and want to purchase it in a different format, it is available in paperback from Amazon, but also in ebook format for Barnes and Noble Nook and Apple ibooks. For pdf or epub formats, please click on the link to Lulu.com
Below are the links that will take you directly to the book on the various sites.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Bdsm-Basics-Beginners-Dominants-Submissives/dp/1300837101/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369180725&sr=8-1&keywords=michelle+fegatofi
Barnes&Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bdsm-basics-for-beginners-a-guide-for-dominants-and-submissives-starting-to-explore-the-lifestyle-michelle-fegatofi/1115085227?ean=9781300838609
Apple iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/bdsm-basics-for-beginners/id627641268?mt=11
Lulu: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/MichelleFegatofi
Follow this link to Kindle books to download your copy today! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00F6K25WU
If you don't have a Kindle, and want to purchase it in a different format, it is available in paperback from Amazon, but also in ebook format for Barnes and Noble Nook and Apple ibooks. For pdf or epub formats, please click on the link to Lulu.com
Below are the links that will take you directly to the book on the various sites.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Bdsm-Basics-Beginners-Dominants-Submissives/dp/1300837101/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369180725&sr=8-1&keywords=michelle+fegatofi
Barnes&Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bdsm-basics-for-beginners-a-guide-for-dominants-and-submissives-starting-to-explore-the-lifestyle-michelle-fegatofi/1115085227?ean=9781300838609
Apple iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/bdsm-basics-for-beginners/id627641268?mt=11
Lulu: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/MichelleFegatofi
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The text book definition of a submissive is a person that takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role; one who relinquishes control for a large percentage of his or her day-to-day life to a top, or who submits within a formal set of rules and rituals.
A submissive / slave is usually aware first of the wants, needs and expectations of the Dominant figure around her and not concerned as much with her own wants, needs and expectations.
A submissive explores the new world of surrendering power to another. It is not surprising that people engaged in D/s often spend a lot of energy determining what are the appropriate bounds of submission and control to incorporate into their play. For those for whom this kind of power exchange is a lifestyle expression, the scope of dominance and submission implemented may be quite extensive.
When trying to define roles, the word of slave enters into the picture. While some people insist that the word slave, like the word submissive, can mean to the individual anything they want it to mean, it is a fact of the established and more experienced leather community that slavery in an M/s sense of the word has specific connotations, and that slavery differs from submission in significant ways. I want to explore those differences here and illustrate why I believe that a submissive and a slave are two entirely different creatures, as unlike as apples and oranges.
I will offer a definition of submissive and slave first put forth by Steven Davis on the old alt.sex.bondage newsgroup on Usenet in 1995. A submissive renews the choice to submit every time a demand is levied upon her. A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is obligatory upon her to obey.
At the heart of submission is the choice to submit and the option to say No. The submissive decides how much authority she will cede to another, how much control she will bow to, and what aspects of her life she will surrender to the Dominant's command. Submissive power exchange is about choice: about the option to decide how one feels about a command and what one is going to do about it. At any point that the sub is not comfortable with this arrangement, it is within her rights to say "No, I'm not going to do that", and this becomes a signal to the couple that they need to renegotiate something. It does not completely derail the power dynamic between them.
A submissive that is controlled in large tracts of her life, her sexuality, work, dress, social habits, etc., may fall into a space of obedience where orders in those arenas are never mulled over. This is not counter to the definition I gave above but a special subset thereof: even for such a closely-controlled submissive, there remains some area of her life or aspect of her person where she retains autonomy, or where it is her option to decide if she wishes to submit in the moment. In short, a submissive chooses to submit and has the option in some area or another to say no to a dominant command.
How, then, does consensual slavery differ from submission? First and foremost, slavery hinges upon a commitment to obedience. The slave does not revisit issues such as "Should I submit?" or "How do I feel about that? Will I say yes or no?" When a Dominant order is issued, whether or not the slave agrees with it, she is obedient in the same manner that a soldier is who has enlisted in the Army. Secondly, in consensual slavery, a person gives themselves over to the control of another as completely as is humanly possible. This means not only a high degree of obedience, but that there is actually a chattel property context to the relationship. I’m not talking about a legal relationship, of course, but to a mutual understanding of ownership and property status that arises between the parties. While both slaves and submissives are often fondly referred to as property, in the sense of consensual slavery the slave becomes literally (by mutual agreement) the property of the Owner. It is not unheard of for slaves to be sold by an Owner and to go willingly to their new Master or Mistress.
A slave commits to obey. A no becomes a deal breaker in a way it can never be for a submissive. Thirdly, a slave cannot say No without completely rescinding the very basis of the Master / slave agreement. A No from a slave is a terminal deal-breaker in a way that it is not for a submissive. One analogy I offer is this: a submissive is like an employee in the workplace, who can protest directives and hope to resolve conflict with management (the Dominant). A slave, on the other hand, is like a soldier who, if she disobeys orders, has put herself in a position of mutiny with much more dire consequences to her relationship to the military (the Owner) than if she were a civilian disputing a less-controlling authority. The military cannot function if command authority is questioned, and neither can a Master / slave relationship.
Earlier I said, "The submissive decides how much authority she will cede to another, how much control she will bow to, and what aspects of her life she will surrender to the Dominant's command.". Slavery differs in this regard: these decisions are not made by the slave, but by the Owner for the slave, after the general commitment to obedience is in place.
If a Dominant is asking you to do things that are against the law or your own moral values, then he or she is not a true Dominant and you should really think if you want to continue that relationship.
Communication, Respect, Honor, Trust, Honesty, and Consistency need to play a predominant role in your daily life. As you continue your journey, you'll find these words are, or should be, entwined into everything you do or encounter. Without these words and adherence to what they represent, a true Dominant / submissive relationship will be doomed to an early failure. Four of these terms, Honor, Respect, Communication and Trust also form the basic building blocks or foundation of any Dominant / submissive (D/s) or Master/slave (M/s) relationship.
As a submissive or slave, you may not find yourself in control of many situations, but the one situation you are always in control of is how much you learn about this Lifestyle before venturing into it, and how much you continue to learn to improve yourself and your abilities to please your Master or Dominant. There are many avenues open to you to explore your submissiveness and to seek more knowledge of the BDSM lifestyle. Reading articles, books, and internet sites can often prepare you for many of the things you have not discovered, as well as lead you to different thoughts about the Lifestyle.
Remember, all Dominants will push your limits and push the boundaries, but never take you so far over the edge that it will scar you physically or mentally. True Dominants know how and when to push the limits of their sub / slave, but also know when the sub / slave needs a softer touch. That is one of the marks of a true and caring Dom.
The main thing is to remember what being a submissive is about. That it is one of the greatest gifts you can give another person, a Dominant. It is allowing yourself to feel freedom by being taken in hand. It is about knowing, understanding, caring, and feeling things you cannot feel if you do not submit your entire self to that Dominant. It is essentially being allowed to fly, to blossom and grow, to know true freedom by being consensually enslaved.
A submissive / slave is usually aware first of the wants, needs and expectations of the Dominant figure around her and not concerned as much with her own wants, needs and expectations.
A submissive explores the new world of surrendering power to another. It is not surprising that people engaged in D/s often spend a lot of energy determining what are the appropriate bounds of submission and control to incorporate into their play. For those for whom this kind of power exchange is a lifestyle expression, the scope of dominance and submission implemented may be quite extensive.
When trying to define roles, the word of slave enters into the picture. While some people insist that the word slave, like the word submissive, can mean to the individual anything they want it to mean, it is a fact of the established and more experienced leather community that slavery in an M/s sense of the word has specific connotations, and that slavery differs from submission in significant ways. I want to explore those differences here and illustrate why I believe that a submissive and a slave are two entirely different creatures, as unlike as apples and oranges.
I will offer a definition of submissive and slave first put forth by Steven Davis on the old alt.sex.bondage newsgroup on Usenet in 1995. A submissive renews the choice to submit every time a demand is levied upon her. A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is obligatory upon her to obey.
At the heart of submission is the choice to submit and the option to say No. The submissive decides how much authority she will cede to another, how much control she will bow to, and what aspects of her life she will surrender to the Dominant's command. Submissive power exchange is about choice: about the option to decide how one feels about a command and what one is going to do about it. At any point that the sub is not comfortable with this arrangement, it is within her rights to say "No, I'm not going to do that", and this becomes a signal to the couple that they need to renegotiate something. It does not completely derail the power dynamic between them.
A submissive that is controlled in large tracts of her life, her sexuality, work, dress, social habits, etc., may fall into a space of obedience where orders in those arenas are never mulled over. This is not counter to the definition I gave above but a special subset thereof: even for such a closely-controlled submissive, there remains some area of her life or aspect of her person where she retains autonomy, or where it is her option to decide if she wishes to submit in the moment. In short, a submissive chooses to submit and has the option in some area or another to say no to a dominant command.
How, then, does consensual slavery differ from submission? First and foremost, slavery hinges upon a commitment to obedience. The slave does not revisit issues such as "Should I submit?" or "How do I feel about that? Will I say yes or no?" When a Dominant order is issued, whether or not the slave agrees with it, she is obedient in the same manner that a soldier is who has enlisted in the Army. Secondly, in consensual slavery, a person gives themselves over to the control of another as completely as is humanly possible. This means not only a high degree of obedience, but that there is actually a chattel property context to the relationship. I’m not talking about a legal relationship, of course, but to a mutual understanding of ownership and property status that arises between the parties. While both slaves and submissives are often fondly referred to as property, in the sense of consensual slavery the slave becomes literally (by mutual agreement) the property of the Owner. It is not unheard of for slaves to be sold by an Owner and to go willingly to their new Master or Mistress.
A slave commits to obey. A no becomes a deal breaker in a way it can never be for a submissive. Thirdly, a slave cannot say No without completely rescinding the very basis of the Master / slave agreement. A No from a slave is a terminal deal-breaker in a way that it is not for a submissive. One analogy I offer is this: a submissive is like an employee in the workplace, who can protest directives and hope to resolve conflict with management (the Dominant). A slave, on the other hand, is like a soldier who, if she disobeys orders, has put herself in a position of mutiny with much more dire consequences to her relationship to the military (the Owner) than if she were a civilian disputing a less-controlling authority. The military cannot function if command authority is questioned, and neither can a Master / slave relationship.
Earlier I said, "The submissive decides how much authority she will cede to another, how much control she will bow to, and what aspects of her life she will surrender to the Dominant's command.". Slavery differs in this regard: these decisions are not made by the slave, but by the Owner for the slave, after the general commitment to obedience is in place.
If a Dominant is asking you to do things that are against the law or your own moral values, then he or she is not a true Dominant and you should really think if you want to continue that relationship.
Communication, Respect, Honor, Trust, Honesty, and Consistency need to play a predominant role in your daily life. As you continue your journey, you'll find these words are, or should be, entwined into everything you do or encounter. Without these words and adherence to what they represent, a true Dominant / submissive relationship will be doomed to an early failure. Four of these terms, Honor, Respect, Communication and Trust also form the basic building blocks or foundation of any Dominant / submissive (D/s) or Master/slave (M/s) relationship.
As a submissive or slave, you may not find yourself in control of many situations, but the one situation you are always in control of is how much you learn about this Lifestyle before venturing into it, and how much you continue to learn to improve yourself and your abilities to please your Master or Dominant. There are many avenues open to you to explore your submissiveness and to seek more knowledge of the BDSM lifestyle. Reading articles, books, and internet sites can often prepare you for many of the things you have not discovered, as well as lead you to different thoughts about the Lifestyle.
Remember, all Dominants will push your limits and push the boundaries, but never take you so far over the edge that it will scar you physically or mentally. True Dominants know how and when to push the limits of their sub / slave, but also know when the sub / slave needs a softer touch. That is one of the marks of a true and caring Dom.
The main thing is to remember what being a submissive is about. That it is one of the greatest gifts you can give another person, a Dominant. It is allowing yourself to feel freedom by being taken in hand. It is about knowing, understanding, caring, and feeling things you cannot feel if you do not submit your entire self to that Dominant. It is essentially being allowed to fly, to blossom and grow, to know true freedom by being consensually enslaved.
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Welcome to the launch of my new blog. This blog will feature posts and articles about the world of BDSM. I will be blogging on topics ranging from bondage, submission, Dominants, munches, relationships, training, toys, scenes and many other things all centered.
The reason I named it BDSM Unveiled is to hopefully help guide new people into this wonderful world, help dispel all the bad and most common belief that BDSM is centered on violence and abuse, and to help further educate those that have been in the scene for a while, but still are open to learning new things and hearing a different point of view.
From time to time, I will post poems also related to the Lifestyle. I hope that this blog will become educational and help those of you that stop by navigate your own journey through the wide, various, and wonderful world of BDSM.
I will share updates on newest books and guides that I have written and when they will come out. Please feel free to send in questions to me or topics that might interest you and you wish to know more about. I do only take serious questions, so please no junk mail.
Now, a little about me and my background. I was trained as a Gorean kajira for 2 years when I was in my early 20's. Over the past 20 years, I have studied and gained much knowledge about many forms and ways to practice BDSM. My philosophy is that there is no 'right way' or 'wrong way' to practice a BDSM, D/s, or S/m lifestyle as long as its consensual and all parties involved are knowledgeable in the possible outcome of scenes.
I live with my true soul mate and Master in as a 24/7 BDSM slave. It has given me a freedom and sense of self like nothing else ever has in my life. Being His, has fulfilled every need - emotional, mental, and physical - that I have. He provides for me and it brings me the greatest pleasure in serving him.
Again, welcome, please share this link with your friends and subscribe to me via email or RSS feed to make sure you get the latest article I post!
Welcome!
Michelle Fegatofi
The reason I named it BDSM Unveiled is to hopefully help guide new people into this wonderful world, help dispel all the bad and most common belief that BDSM is centered on violence and abuse, and to help further educate those that have been in the scene for a while, but still are open to learning new things and hearing a different point of view.
From time to time, I will post poems also related to the Lifestyle. I hope that this blog will become educational and help those of you that stop by navigate your own journey through the wide, various, and wonderful world of BDSM.
I will share updates on newest books and guides that I have written and when they will come out. Please feel free to send in questions to me or topics that might interest you and you wish to know more about. I do only take serious questions, so please no junk mail.
Now, a little about me and my background. I was trained as a Gorean kajira for 2 years when I was in my early 20's. Over the past 20 years, I have studied and gained much knowledge about many forms and ways to practice BDSM. My philosophy is that there is no 'right way' or 'wrong way' to practice a BDSM, D/s, or S/m lifestyle as long as its consensual and all parties involved are knowledgeable in the possible outcome of scenes.
I live with my true soul mate and Master in as a 24/7 BDSM slave. It has given me a freedom and sense of self like nothing else ever has in my life. Being His, has fulfilled every need - emotional, mental, and physical - that I have. He provides for me and it brings me the greatest pleasure in serving him.
Again, welcome, please share this link with your friends and subscribe to me via email or RSS feed to make sure you get the latest article I post!
Welcome!
Michelle Fegatofi
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