I’m sitting here trying to think about how to word what’s on my mind. Sometimes it’s harder to write down what you’re thinking versus just outright saying it. Hopefully it won’t be a rambling mess.
I haven’t written many blog posts this year related to the BDSM Lifestyle because I’ve been so concentrated on other outside things. I decided in January to try to get my out of control health problems in hand, by making a radical diet change as well as adding daily exercise to my life. In the beginning, it took every part of my mind, body, and soul to stay with the new course I set for myself. I was very lucky that Padrone was very supportive of my decisions, even though he didn’t join me at that time.
As the weeks went on, I was losing weight but also feeling much stronger, more energetic, and overall better. At the beginning of March, Padrone was rushed to the Emergency Room with multiple health issues. He ended up staying there for 8 days and was off work for another 2 weeks for recovery. He was forced to stop smoking cold turkey after 45 or more years of constantly lighting up. He had to start adding in exercise as well as change his own diet. Luckily for me, I had been doing this already for several weeks prior, so I was able to help him in making the right food choices and encouraging him to exercise.
Now, here we are 2 months later and both of us have been focused on improving our health and getting stronger. We are in a very unique but also extremely supportive situation, since we both had to change our lifestyle to being more active and choosing better food. We are able to sympathize with the other when one of us is craving something we can’t have now.
This leads me to our BDSM dynamic. I’ve received many messages over the years asking for advice because it seems like their dynamic fizzled out or went quasi-vanilla. What people don’t understand is that just like a normal vanilla relationship, BDSM relationships evolve and change along the way also, because people are always changing.
In our case, while we’ve always maintained our dynamic to a certain degree, in the past year, it had not been as intense as it had been in years past. Outside influences, such as work, mental and physical health, and basic everyday obligations, contributed to that. We actually didn’t even really notice the changes, because we were both not feeling as well as we should have been because of health issues.
Now that we’ve both lost weight, changed our eating habits, and become more active, I’ve noticed a change back to a more intense M/s dynamic, similar to what it was in the beginning of our relationship. Obviously, after 7 years together, we know almost everything about the other one. I don’t think either of us has anything new left to discover. So, even though the shiny new feeling has worn to a comfortable place now, that intense attraction to the other, mentally/physically/emotionally, has never gone away.
As we age, our bodies and minds prioritize things differently. We crave touch still, but it doesn’t consume our every waking thought like it may have 20 years ago. We focus more on the mental and emotional well being as well as the health of our partner. With time, we have been blessed with the fact that we’ve grown even closer together instead of more apart, like you see happen with many couples these days.
Now you see why I haven’t written a BDSM related blog post in a while. We’ve just had our concentration turned inwards towards improving ourselves. Now, that we are both on the right track, I am hoping to be more active in the online communities as well as blogging more.
So, if there are any topics that you can’t find in my blog history and want me to write about, please send me your suggestions!
I haven’t written many blog posts this year related to the BDSM Lifestyle because I’ve been so concentrated on other outside things. I decided in January to try to get my out of control health problems in hand, by making a radical diet change as well as adding daily exercise to my life. In the beginning, it took every part of my mind, body, and soul to stay with the new course I set for myself. I was very lucky that Padrone was very supportive of my decisions, even though he didn’t join me at that time.
As the weeks went on, I was losing weight but also feeling much stronger, more energetic, and overall better. At the beginning of March, Padrone was rushed to the Emergency Room with multiple health issues. He ended up staying there for 8 days and was off work for another 2 weeks for recovery. He was forced to stop smoking cold turkey after 45 or more years of constantly lighting up. He had to start adding in exercise as well as change his own diet. Luckily for me, I had been doing this already for several weeks prior, so I was able to help him in making the right food choices and encouraging him to exercise.
Now, here we are 2 months later and both of us have been focused on improving our health and getting stronger. We are in a very unique but also extremely supportive situation, since we both had to change our lifestyle to being more active and choosing better food. We are able to sympathize with the other when one of us is craving something we can’t have now.
This leads me to our BDSM dynamic. I’ve received many messages over the years asking for advice because it seems like their dynamic fizzled out or went quasi-vanilla. What people don’t understand is that just like a normal vanilla relationship, BDSM relationships evolve and change along the way also, because people are always changing.
In our case, while we’ve always maintained our dynamic to a certain degree, in the past year, it had not been as intense as it had been in years past. Outside influences, such as work, mental and physical health, and basic everyday obligations, contributed to that. We actually didn’t even really notice the changes, because we were both not feeling as well as we should have been because of health issues.
Now that we’ve both lost weight, changed our eating habits, and become more active, I’ve noticed a change back to a more intense M/s dynamic, similar to what it was in the beginning of our relationship. Obviously, after 7 years together, we know almost everything about the other one. I don’t think either of us has anything new left to discover. So, even though the shiny new feeling has worn to a comfortable place now, that intense attraction to the other, mentally/physically/emotionally, has never gone away.
As we age, our bodies and minds prioritize things differently. We crave touch still, but it doesn’t consume our every waking thought like it may have 20 years ago. We focus more on the mental and emotional well being as well as the health of our partner. With time, we have been blessed with the fact that we’ve grown even closer together instead of more apart, like you see happen with many couples these days.
Now you see why I haven’t written a BDSM related blog post in a while. We’ve just had our concentration turned inwards towards improving ourselves. Now, that we are both on the right track, I am hoping to be more active in the online communities as well as blogging more.
So, if there are any topics that you can’t find in my blog history and want me to write about, please send me your suggestions!
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For those in the vanilla world, they think BDSM is all about sex, bondage, and multiple partners. When they hear the word dominant, they only think that it is a very domineering person who is in charge of everything and who’s word is law. They think the dominant can do absolutely anything they want to, regardless of a submissive‘s desires, needs, or even objections. Those of us that actually live some type of version of a BDSM lifestyle know that the above statements are false.
We all know that a Dominant is the one who guides and a submissive is the one who follows. That is just the basic concept of roles in these types of relationships or dynamics. But, what happens when the submissive becomes the one that needs to guide the Dominant for some reason? How does the Dominant still retain dominance in the relationship while following the guidelines or advice from their submissive? It’s simple. Respect is the key.
Now, you’re asking yourself when would there be a time that a Dominant would follow a submissive in a BDSM dynamic, but still remain the dominant person in the relationship? There are many scenarios I can think of that this could happen, but the one I’m referring to is in a medical situation. I’ll use my situation with my master, known as Padrone, to share my feelings on this matter.
First I have to give you a little background on myself. Since January 10, 2018, I have been on a journey to get myself healthier by eating better and exercising. It is been 10 weeks and I have lost 7 kg which is about 14 pounds. I have done a lot of research on nutrition, exercise, and what not to do in order to lose weight at a healthy pace and keep it off while making my body more fit and stronger. I am not an expert by any means, but I have done a lot of research that has allowed me to gain knowledge that Padrone does not have.
Padrone actually ended up in the hospital for eight days because of a medical condition, and he had to change his entire lifestyle to no smoking, eating a completely different way, and adding exercise every day to his routine. While he is dealing with all of these new challenges, he’s also having to take a bunch of new medication at certain times of the day. I am helping him manage all of this so he can concentrate on himself.
The way I’m helping him manage all of this is by giving him his medications when he needs them, weighing all of his food and serving it to him at the appropriate times, and also encouraging him while sometimes nagging him to exercise. Given that he is my Master, you might think it would be very awkward to tell him what, how much, and when he can eat. A person would think that in a dynamic such as ours, that my providing food for Padrone would be in direct violation of a Master/slave relationship. But in our case it isn’t.
You see, Padrone still retains his role as Master and head of our household. I am still very much his submissive/slave as always. But in the case of exercise and food, he is allowing me to serve him by putting me in charge of these types of things so he doesn’t have to worry about it. He’s already dealing with the fallout of not smoking after smoking for 45 years, his body getting used to all these new medications, and having to actually do exercise every single day, which he still does not like at all but does because he knows he has to.
Some people might see him as relinquishing control of our relationship but that is not the case at all either. His relinquishing control of the medication and food distribution allows me to actually serve him even more because I’m able to help him get healthier and be right there with him every step of the way on his journey to get fit. So what some may see as a role reversal or equalization of the relationship, is actually just the continued bond of our dynamic working.
If you ever get into a situation as a submissive or slave, in which your Dominant needs you to step up and take control of certain aspects of your life or his life, don’t hesitate to do it. Mentally and physically, your Dominant probably needs the help and will appreciate your effort because it will make their life and situation much easier to deal with from whatever they’re going through. You are in fact supporting them and serving them by taking control of some aspects that you did not have control over before. Just always make sure you show them the respect you always have, you never use a tone of voice that you would not normally use with them, and you always give them the final decision. Sometimes, like in my case, you might have to nag a little bit to get them to exercise because they really do not want to. Just make sure you give them all the right reasons to do what you’re asking so they know it’s their choice, you’re just helping them implement that choice.
Sometimes people may think they aren’t strong enough to actually be able to do something like that. They don’t know if their relationship or dynamic could handle them stepping up or a Dominant giving up a little bit of their control so that it makes their life a little easier because their submissive or slave is willing to help them make some choices that are difficult for themselves to make. I can say from experience, that one never knows what one can endure or will do for those that they love the most.
So, when a submissive takes charge of certain aspects of a Dominant’s life, or situation, the submissive is actually serving the Dominant. In no way does it mean that the submissive is trying to top from the bottom or take over the relationship. It just means that the submissive cares enough for their Dominant to try to do everything they can to help the Dominant’s life be easier.
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When I finally voiced my cravings, I didn't know what to think
I stood there for many weeks, right on the brink.
Not really understanding the feelings I felt inside
Knowing I could no longer bury them and hide.
These needs I had couldn't possibly be normal
Society teaches us that sex is supposed to be formal.
Craving to be on my knees,
Serving a Master and wanting to please.
Desires for spankings and to do as I was told
But could I find the courage and be that bold?
After much research and conversation with others like me,
I found out there was a huge community!
Honesty and respect I learned from them
Are the foundations of a lifestyle called BDSM.
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