--> A Little About My Life as a RL 24/7 Slave | BDSM Unveiled

So, many of you have been very curious about my experiences as a real life 24/7 slave.

I am pretty open to who and what I am and believe. I always share my own experiences when I think they will help others. So, today's post is about me. I hate talking about myself but, with the amount of questions I have gotten, here goes!

Michelle Fegatofi - A Little About My Life as a RL 24/7 Slave

I won't go into my past much, because I see the past as the past, and it is better left right were it is. Of course, it helped shape me into the person I am today, but the person I am today is so much different than I was 2 years ago.

I was at a point in my life where I was completely unhappy, with my work, my relationships, everything. I hated it. I was not in an environment that allowed me to be myself, the true me. I think I had lost the true me, my core self, many years before, because I had to hide who I was from everyone for so long.

I decided to get back in touch with my BDSM submissive roots. I had been trained for 2 1/2 years as a Gorean kajira, starting at the age of 19. Life intervened and I lost touch with BDSM and submission for many years.

I started reading and getting back into the scene via the internet around 1998. There wasn't much of a presence on the net as there is now, but it was there. I participated in many forums and advice columns as well as mentoring new people that had no clue where to start their own journey. Just as I was finding myself again, life intervened and my BDSM activities were put on hold. Over the next several years, career, kids, cancer and epilepsy, as well as the other normal trappings of life kept me away from the scene. I was lost once again.

slave ring

I decided about 5 years ago that I could not continue living in that box society had forced me into. I had to break free of the shell I was being forced to live in. I felt like a walking zombie in much of my normal day to day life. I was only going through the motions of living, but not enjoying life. There is a HUGE difference from being alive and living your life.

My heart stopped beating on two occasions and I actually was dead, but was brought back. This was due to epilepsy and other circumstances. I also dealt with cancer and won. All of these things happening to me in a relatively short period of time was a HUGE wake up call. I had to get my life back on track and find my way back to being happy. I knew that BDSM, being a submissive, serving a Master that would allow me to be myself was the only way that I could be me and be happy. But, I was in a bad marriage and had two kids. How could I possibly participate in BDSM?

I found cyber BDSM again. I started devouring everything I could read on the scene, remembering my training and the feelings it brought me, of peace and comfort and joy. I started interacting with others in the same boat as myself and together, we helped each other relearn and regain our submissive sides. They had actually never been lost, just put away and forgotten, until we had a chance to bring them out again. I started participating in real life activities again, not sexual, but just around the scene to regain my sense of the Lifestyle.

So, after a while, I met a wonderful, smart, funny man that happened to live half a world away. He had so much wonderful advice and was so caring. He was never overbearing and you could tell, just by speaking to him, he was a natural Dominant. I talked to him and got to know him for several months before becoming his cyber slave in April of 2011.

Michelle Fegatofi Collar

During my time as his cyber slave, he had many rules that I had to follow. He was very flexible though and understanding because he knew I had to maintain a balance between my real life duties as well as my cyber activities. And sometimes balancing them is very hard. So over the months, we video and phone chatted, IM'd and emailed. I had as much contact with him as I could. I could never get enough. He was the one person that I felt I could just be myself. I instinctively knew I could tell him anything and he would not judge me. I completely opened up and told him about my entire life, past, present and future, wants, needs desires, hurts, dreams... Everything.

Well, in August of 2011, he flew to the USA and I returned with him to Italy, where I have been and remain very happily his 24/7 slave.

I have grown so much in the past 1 1/2 years. I have learned to be myself again. With all of the structure, rules, and guidance that Padrone had built into our ever evolving relationship, I have never felt more safe, loved, protected, cared for, or happy in my life. We have a completely open and honest, two way communication that is the very foundation of our BDSM life. We practice more the M/s part of BDSM than the S&M, but it does govern every part of our lives. I always wear my collar, everywhere I go, with or without Him. I always follow the rules he has given me, and I know the type of answer he would give in situations that might come up in which I need to make a decision.

The form my slavery takes is perhaps different from what many of you think about BDSM slavery. I have many rules, about what I can or can't wear, who I can talk to, when and where I am allowed to go, when to check in when I am out, how long I can be out of the house, and many many more. But, he has given me rules that he knows that make me feel good, happy and safe. He knows without any doubts that I will follow them always. He also knows that if I do slip up and forget something, like to make coffee for him before he wakes up, there is always a reason.

BDSM Pride

He doesn't punish me for mistakes I make, because they are usually not intentional and are related to side effects from the epilepsy. When would he punish me? I would say he would punish me harshly if I ever do something deliberately, like speak to people on purpose that I'm not supposed to, or start drama, or break some other rule on purpose he has put in place.

Many of you will be thinking at this point that without punishment or correction, that I can't learn from my mistakes. But I do. See, he does correct me. But it's in the form of actual correction and guidance. When I make a mistake, he will show me how to do it correctly. If I make mistakes because my epilepsy is acting up, then he will stand right beside me and tell me step by step how to do whatever the task is that I need to do. This type of correction, for me, reassures me that I am not stupid, but also helps me feel even more loved and protected and accepted by Padrone.

With this kind of Dominating or Mastering, I have grown back into the person I always wanted to be. I have gotten more in touch with myself deeply and know me very well. I don't hide anything from anyone anymore because I feel safe to be me and with Padrone as my Master and life partner, I feel safe to be me.

slave ownership certificate

He has encouraged me to take up writing again because he knows it's a passion of mine. He also knows how much I enjoy helping others in anyway I can, so that's why I started my blogs.

I hope this answers many of your questions and helps you understand a little more about me and my background, as well as the way Padrone and I choose to practice a BDSM lifestyle.

Remember, there really is no right or wrong, and no handbook to BDSM. It's all a matter of consensual, knowledgeable decisions and the way you and your partner interpret BDSM.

Have fun, read, explore and stay safe!

Michelle Fegatofi

Post title: " A Little About My Life as a RL 24/7 Slave "
Red line


  1. I'm amazed Michelle and admire your courage to start living the way you truly desire and make so many changes.
    I appreciate your share.


  2. Thank you Marla. I wish you well and hope you continue to follow my journey. Its never ending and ever expanding. :)

  3. Very well-written.......... I hope to read more from you in the future!

  4. I've just found this scrollin through the internet. I'd really like to talk to you over email if it's possible, ask some questions, get some advice, tweak some interest and whatnot. my email is brendan_sky@yahoo.com, hope to hear from you.

  5. Thank you all for your kind words.

    Brendan, I am not allowed to interact directly but you can send messages to my fb page if you like. fb.com/bdsminternational

  6. Eu amei o seu blog, isso me abriu mais a minha cabeça. e me fez tomar uma desisão que a tempos venho adiando, que é ser escravo. Eu vou viver isso. E muito obrigado por compartilhar suas expericnecias conosco.

  7. Hi Michelle,
    I really want to hear, how you handle a situation, where there are some people you really want to see, but your master are mad at them, and have decided that they are not a good influence for you and therefore you can't see them?

    I am a full time slave. In my situation my master is mad at my sister, because she is not a good influence to our marriage. But I still love and miss her very much, and it makes me very sad.

    Do you have any advice?

    Ps. thank you for writing this blog and your books - I find a lot of my answers here.

    1. That's a tough one. You shouldn't allow anyone to have any influence over your marriage. Although you love your sister, if she is a negative influence on you and your life, why would you choose to be round her? I understand family is important, but sometimes they hurt us more than help.

  8. Hi Michelle,

    I really enjoyed reading you blog

  9. I am new to bdsm. I have been reading lots and joined several websites. Would like to submit but how can you spot a fake Dom

  10. Hi there Michelle,

    I am into S/M rather than M/s. I enjoy reading your blog. Finding out about 24/7 lifestyle is very interesting. Even though it is not for me. I am really into Impact Play. I introduced it into my vanilla marriage after 10 years of vanilla. My wife has taken to it really well, like a duck to water. I taught her how to beat me. She absolutely loves doing it and is really good at it.

    In this post you covered being free to be your self. Thank you for covering this. It has taken me many years to be honest with myself on who and what I am. I am very fortunate in that my wife, Pam, is very happy for me to have BDSM Play with other people. When I go to Play Parties she wants to see the results, marks etc when I come home. Ocassionally she comes to Play Parties with me. I am attending one this Sunday and am very happy about it. I have been promised a beating by the Dom who currently plays with me. She messaged me hoping that I was well and ready for a beating.

    Thank you for your blog. I linked onto it from Lunar KM's Submissive Guide. I am so pleased with Submissive Guide as it gives me a place where I feel free to express how things are with me with other subs who understand. Please keep up your good work with your blog.

  11. I want to thank you for this site. I just found it after doing a Google search. I am new to the Lifestyle and am a learning dominant. I look forward to reading more of your posts and learning more about the how to be a good dominant.

  12. You found someone wonderful and you two enjoy the lifestyle. I am happy for you.

    Mistress Lilitu aka Blackheart (Stephanie L Brown)

  13. GREAT SITE. This is actually a reply to an old question (new to your site) How do you handle family when your Dom doesn't want you to contact a family member because they are trouble. My response. If you let them have free communications with a negative influence it can destroy the relationship. My wife and I unknowingly had a D/s romance relationship, we loved deeply but I controlled most things. We moved 1200 miles from family. None of her family ever visited her. She always had to go to them. She developed uterus cancer and her family started being "concerned", but never showed up in 11 years. During her battle, the stress for both of us caused a speed bump in our marriage/relationship. She started listening more and more to her sister, who was giving her negative advice. My wife drifted further and further from me. In the years before. I had asked her not to contact to let them go, they didn't really care. I asked not told. She never listened. In the last year or so increasingly angry and distant. very hard for a true full time, natural sub to do. In the end, she went out the door and her last words, before closing the door were "Things are going to change." 45 minutes later she was killed riding her bike to work, by a careless driver. I have since realized that her path away from me, would have emotionally and mentally destroyed both of us, had it continued. I miss her dearly, at least the old her. But I now understand we could not have gone on as we were. I can accept that now, but it was a terrible lesson to learn. So DO NOT ALLOW FAMILY, TO DISRUPT OR DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP. It is He or She that you walk your path with every day. They are the ones you are in constant contact with. do not let anyone come between you and your relationship with the one you are totally committed to. Not Ever.

  14. This is very interesting, thanks for sharing. I have sympathetically observed (without directly participating in) this scene since the late 90s, like you. I see a lot of truth in what you say here.

  15. Interesting comments, something I have been looking to find and I appreciate the recommendation from My Owner.


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