I Am A Submissive Woman
i find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive
i find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive
to my Master in a loving
relationship.
i am not weak or stupid. i am a
strong woman,
with firm views and a clear concept
of what i want out of my life.
i do not serve out of shame or
weakness, but out of pride and strength.
i will look to my loving Master for
guidance and protection, for never
will i be more complete than when He
is with me.
i know that He will protect my body,
my mind, and my soul
with His strength and wisdom.
He is everything to me, as i am
everything to Him.
His touch awakens me and His
thoughts free me.
Only in serving Him do i find
complete freedom and joy…
His punishments may be harsh, but i
accept them thankfully,
knowing that He has my best
interests always foremost in His mind.
If He desires my body for pleasure,
i shall joyfully give it to Him
and take pleasure myself from
knowing that i have brought Him happiness.
However, the pleasure of the flesh
is but one facet of O/our relationship.
The love, the trust and sharing, the
words spoken and felt,
those are all parts of this
relationship.
My body is His, and if He says i am
beautiful, then i am.
No matter what i look like to
others, i am beautiful in His eyes,
and because of that i hold my head
high.
If He says i am His precious jewel,
then i am that…a beautiful,
sparkling gem.
If He says that i am His pet, His
slut, His whore, then i am that..
as wanton and dirty as He wants me
to be.
My mind is His, to expand, to
explore, to know only as He can.
i have no secrets from Him… for
secrets are a thing that would
keep me from being more perfectly
His.
Secrets would put a wall up between
my Master and myself…
and i do not want walls.
His lessons are not always ones i
would seek on my own,
but they are lessons He has decided
that i need, and so i learn from Him.
My soul is His, as bare to His touch
as ever my skin could be
when i kneel naked at His feet.
Never a moment goes by when i do not
feel His presence,
be He miles away or standing over
me.
If i were to ever displease Him, His
displeasure would be a blow to my soul,
worse punishment than any lashes
could be.
The anguish of my soul that i feel
when i disappoint Him
is harder to bear than any physical
anguish i feel.
i am grateful that he cares enough
about me to spend
His time and energy so freely on me.
i have the easier job, to feel, to
experience,
to let myself go and abandon
everything to Him.
i am His pleasure and His
responsibility, and He takes both seriously .
i am a submissive woman.
i am proud to call myself that, my
submission is a gift that i do not give lightly,
and can only be given to the One who
can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.
Only to my Master who has that
strength, will i give myself fully,
because i am strong and proud.
i am a submissive woman.
Share this post - support us:
Pet Play or Animal roleplay may be either a non-sexual or an erotic sexual role-play (when it may also be called petplay, ponyplay, ponyism or pup-play).
In its erotic sexual role-play form, one or more of the participants takes on the role of a real or imaginary animal in character, including appropriate mannerisms and behavior, and sometimes a partner will act as another animal or in a sexual context may take the role of rider, trainer, or caretaker (or even breeding partner).
The principal theme of animal role play is usually the voluntary or involuntary reduction (or transformation) of a human being to animal status, and focus on the altered mind-space created. The most common examples are probably canines (pup, dog, wolf), felines (cat, kitten, lion) or equines (pony, horse). Animal role play is also used in a BDSM context, where a person may be humiliated by being treated as an animal.
Not all Pet Play is animalistic behavior. Sometimes you just want to dress up as an animal and have some fun.
Another is because it is simply fun. It is a great psychological and emotional release to be able to come home and let loose the restrictions of humanity and what humans are “supposed to be like.” It is just plain fun to bat around a cat toy or play tricks and get treat rewards. It could also be described as a “de-stressing” process from the rigors of daily life, especially if the participants work outside the
home.
It can help with submission, as taking away some parts of the submissive’s humanity can help take away their sense of equality. It can help the submissive orient their mind to their Dom being their focus in life.
Pet play could also be used as punishment. If the submissive misbehaves badly it could be punishment to be put out in the pig stalls with the pigs for a period of time, or whatever animal is available, and made to act like that animal as the punishment.
Puppy training has become really popular with some dominants and masters to help their submissives know what it means to be completely dependent on another and also to teach them how to respond to non verbal and verbal clues quicker and more effectively. Some submissives have been taught their place again by just incorporating a few days of puppy play into the relationship every few months. Being a puppy gives one lots of time to think and this also helps when a submissive or slave has lost their way.
How does one engage in pet play?
Pet play can get a lot more specific if one looks at each relationship and the animal(s) involved. A note though; pet play sometimes can be sexual, and sometimes can be completely non-sexual. It, as with everything else, simply depends on the couple involved. Please keep in mind that I am in no way speaking of bestiality. This is two or more human beings acting and role playing within the confines of their negotiated relationship.
In its erotic sexual role-play form, one or more of the participants takes on the role of a real or imaginary animal in character, including appropriate mannerisms and behavior, and sometimes a partner will act as another animal or in a sexual context may take the role of rider, trainer, or caretaker (or even breeding partner).
The principal theme of animal role play is usually the voluntary or involuntary reduction (or transformation) of a human being to animal status, and focus on the altered mind-space created. The most common examples are probably canines (pup, dog, wolf), felines (cat, kitten, lion) or equines (pony, horse). Animal role play is also used in a BDSM context, where a person may be humiliated by being treated as an animal.
Not all Pet Play is animalistic behavior. Sometimes you just want to dress up as an animal and have some fun.
Why pet play?
One large reason many D/s couples go into pet play is for the humiliation and dependence aspect. Restricting a submissive’s movement and vocalizations forces them to be that much more dependent on their Dom. Also, not being allowed on furniture or having to use a litter box instead of a toilet can be very humiliating for some.Another is because it is simply fun. It is a great psychological and emotional release to be able to come home and let loose the restrictions of humanity and what humans are “supposed to be like.” It is just plain fun to bat around a cat toy or play tricks and get treat rewards. It could also be described as a “de-stressing” process from the rigors of daily life, especially if the participants work outside the
home.
It can help with submission, as taking away some parts of the submissive’s humanity can help take away their sense of equality. It can help the submissive orient their mind to their Dom being their focus in life.
Pet play could also be used as punishment. If the submissive misbehaves badly it could be punishment to be put out in the pig stalls with the pigs for a period of time, or whatever animal is available, and made to act like that animal as the punishment.
Puppy training has become really popular with some dominants and masters to help their submissives know what it means to be completely dependent on another and also to teach them how to respond to non verbal and verbal clues quicker and more effectively. Some submissives have been taught their place again by just incorporating a few days of puppy play into the relationship every few months. Being a puppy gives one lots of time to think and this also helps when a submissive or slave has lost their way.
How does one engage in pet play?
- Restrict movement via bondage.
- Restrict verbal communication, perhaps to only certain words or animal sounds such as “woof!” or “mew!” or more child-like words such as “up!” or “potty!”.
- Training exercises such as tricks for puppies, walking on leads and leashes or for ponies pulling a cart/plow.
- Eating and drinking out of bowls without the use of hands and/or silverware.
- Learning to use a litter box instead of a toilet, or even going outside.
- Playing with toys, such as batting toys for kitties or tug-of-war toys for puppies.
- Begging in the manner of the animal you identify with, such as a puppy whining.
- Caging.
- Not being allowed on furniture without permission.
Pet play can get a lot more specific if one looks at each relationship and the animal(s) involved. A note though; pet play sometimes can be sexual, and sometimes can be completely non-sexual. It, as with everything else, simply depends on the couple involved. Please keep in mind that I am in no way speaking of bestiality. This is two or more human beings acting and role playing within the confines of their negotiated relationship.
Share this post - support us:
Many of you have read about the Gorean Lifestyle while researching BDSM or reading my blog.
I didn't realize that I had not done a more in depth post about it to explain what it is. I hope this helps you understand it more.
In 1967 John Norman (real name John Frederick Lange Jr.) released a book called Tarnsman of Gor, a book detailing life on Gor and its inhabitants. This turned into a series with 26 books in print today, called Chronicles of Gor. His books are carefully detailed that explain everything from Gorean food to Gorean rituals, and focus on adventures in Gor and the natural role of genders. Gorean philosophy believes that men have a natural drive to dominate women; women have a strong desire to submit to men and give up their rights. Women are either free or enslaved, but free women can be enslaved at any time.
The majority of Goreans who pursue a "lifestyle" approach often do not consider what they do to be BDSM. However, they are generally considered part of the "kinky" subculture. In that context, they reject the idea of isolated "scenes". Instead, their practices may be described as 24/7, dominance & submission, and/or Total Power Exchange relationships. BDSM concepts of servitude and slavery typically play a key role in Gorean dynamics.
Gor is comparatively more intense than other lifestyles, because Gor does not depend on scening. People who follow Gor do not consider it to be a role-play, or a scene, but in fact say that they are leading the lifestyle - which cannot be denied because there are after all twenty seven books that outline the life and times of the Gorean region.
There are Gorean role players, both online and in real life, who play a "role" of a Gorean, usually having to do with masters and slaves. What makes someone a role player is that this isn't really how they live their real life, and they differentiate between Gor and reality. They often refer to "Gor" or being "in Gor" as opposed to being in reality. It is like a part time thing or a hobby for these individuals.
There are many Goreans out there that don't just role-play the Gorean lifestyle, many of them not being role-players at all. In fact, they live the Gorean life on a 24/7 basis. They too call themselves Goreans and they too subscribe to the principles described in the books written by John Norman.
Most Goreans live a counter version of the BDSM Master/slave lifestyle that is filled with rules and protocols defined in the books of Gor. The books give them a rule set so to speak to define their lifestyle dynamic. A dynamic that any Gorean you talk to is likely to say, they'd practice it no other way.
Most of these households, groups and "camps" seem to focus mainly on the "Warrior" and Master/slave aspects of the books, and many have gone far beyond the bounds of legality or what most of us see as sanity or reason in terms of that they deem acceptable in their actions and dealings with others.
This does not include all categories. Gorean slaves typically wear a tunic and a collar. Followers of Gor believe Gorean slaves have rights of being a woman. They want to perform, act, and be a woman. Being a woman, according to Gorean philosophy, is pleasing a man in various ways.
I didn't realize that I had not done a more in depth post about it to explain what it is. I hope this helps you understand it more.
In 1967 John Norman (real name John Frederick Lange Jr.) released a book called Tarnsman of Gor, a book detailing life on Gor and its inhabitants. This turned into a series with 26 books in print today, called Chronicles of Gor. His books are carefully detailed that explain everything from Gorean food to Gorean rituals, and focus on adventures in Gor and the natural role of genders. Gorean philosophy believes that men have a natural drive to dominate women; women have a strong desire to submit to men and give up their rights. Women are either free or enslaved, but free women can be enslaved at any time.
The majority of Goreans who pursue a "lifestyle" approach often do not consider what they do to be BDSM. However, they are generally considered part of the "kinky" subculture. In that context, they reject the idea of isolated "scenes". Instead, their practices may be described as 24/7, dominance & submission, and/or Total Power Exchange relationships. BDSM concepts of servitude and slavery typically play a key role in Gorean dynamics.
Gor is comparatively more intense than other lifestyles, because Gor does not depend on scening. People who follow Gor do not consider it to be a role-play, or a scene, but in fact say that they are leading the lifestyle - which cannot be denied because there are after all twenty seven books that outline the life and times of the Gorean region.
There are Gorean role players, both online and in real life, who play a "role" of a Gorean, usually having to do with masters and slaves. What makes someone a role player is that this isn't really how they live their real life, and they differentiate between Gor and reality. They often refer to "Gor" or being "in Gor" as opposed to being in reality. It is like a part time thing or a hobby for these individuals.
There are many Goreans out there that don't just role-play the Gorean lifestyle, many of them not being role-players at all. In fact, they live the Gorean life on a 24/7 basis. They too call themselves Goreans and they too subscribe to the principles described in the books written by John Norman.
Most Goreans live a counter version of the BDSM Master/slave lifestyle that is filled with rules and protocols defined in the books of Gor. The books give them a rule set so to speak to define their lifestyle dynamic. A dynamic that any Gorean you talk to is likely to say, they'd practice it no other way.
Most of these households, groups and "camps" seem to focus mainly on the "Warrior" and Master/slave aspects of the books, and many have gone far beyond the bounds of legality or what most of us see as sanity or reason in terms of that they deem acceptable in their actions and dealings with others.
Philosophy of Gorean Slavery
- Goreans believe that women have a natural desire to be slaves. Every woman has this desire.
- Women have a huge desire to please men. They strive for perfection. They want to be submissive. Women want to be controlled by men. A man's word is final.
- Gor strictly believes in the 'natural order'. There aren't any exceptions to this rule. Men always dominate, women always submit.
- All women 'beg the collar' (desire a master). Women slaves are collared once owned and beg to
be owned, according to Gorean philosophy.
- Masters consider their slaves property. They are to keep their property in top condition. If slaves don't meet their standards, they are disciplined. This involves punishment, including imprisonment and whippings.
- Although Gorean philosophy says that all women have rights, free women can be enslaved at any time.
Types of Gorean Slaves
- White Silk Slaves: A woman slave who hasn't lost her virginity. This is indicated by tying a white ribbon to her collar.
- Red Silk Slaves: A woman slave that has had sex. This is indicated by tying a red ribbon to her collar.
- Pleasure Slave: A slave trained in the arts of pleasure, including slave dance, slave positions (note: these are not sexual positions, but positions used in their culture), cooking, being pleasant, and sexual services.
- Passion Slave: A slave trained and used for sexual services only.
- Feast Slaves: A slave that serves food along with other personal services decide by their master.
- Serving Slaves: A slave usually owned by a woman master. They prepare warm baths, help remove clothing, comb hair, and complete most domestic chores.
- House Girls: Same as Serving Slaves, but they only complete domestic chores. They are owned
by Masters.
This does not include all categories. Gorean slaves typically wear a tunic and a collar. Followers of Gor believe Gorean slaves have rights of being a woman. They want to perform, act, and be a woman. Being a woman, according to Gorean philosophy, is pleasing a man in various ways.
Rights of a Gorean Slave
- Once you are a Gorean slave, you lose all human rights. Anything you did before enslavement is erased from your past. You are not to talk about it, since your identity is kajira, a slave.
- Slaves aren't seen as people. They are, according to Gorean followers, human animals.
- Masters make decisions for them. They lose rights to their name. Their master chooses their name, although slaves are not allowed to refer to themselves by name.
- Their master can discipline or destroy their property at any time. Gorean law fully supports this.
- A kajira's only goal in life is to bring pleasure and comfort to their master.
- There are different types of women slaves. Some slaves purely serve as sexual objects, while others are masterful at cooking.
- Slaves do not question anything. They do as they are told. Refusal to do anything results in discipline.
- Slaves must strive for perfection.
- Not only must slaves do their work well, but it must be done in a feminine, graceful way that expresses their sexuality.
- Gorean women retain the right to refuse slavery. If a master wants to enslave a woman and she refuses, however, she may be killed.
Share this post - support us:
The only thing that can truly bind
a submissive heart tight,
Is the guiding hand of a Dominant
from the darkness into the light.
It's not ropes or chains that truly bind,
It's the honor of service from deep within.
It's not a collar or title that make me stay,
It's the need I have, to serve Him.
To be a sub or a slave is an internal call,
If you don't feel that need, you will surely fall.
Bound flesh, can be forced to do their will
But your mind can never be forced to kneel.
You see, true submission is in your heart,
It is something you feel from the start.
A need to serve, to please and to bend,
Never wanting the feeling of submitting to end.
You soul is caught and you don't even fight,
Because being bound like this, you know is right.
a submissive heart tight,
Is the guiding hand of a Dominant
from the darkness into the light.
It's not ropes or chains that truly bind,
It's the honor of service from deep within.
It's not a collar or title that make me stay,
It's the need I have, to serve Him.
To be a sub or a slave is an internal call,
If you don't feel that need, you will surely fall.
Bound flesh, can be forced to do their will
But your mind can never be forced to kneel.
You see, true submission is in your heart,
It is something you feel from the start.
A need to serve, to please and to bend,
Never wanting the feeling of submitting to end.
You soul is caught and you don't even fight,
Because being bound like this, you know is right.
Share this post - support us:
I came across these pictures of people deforming their bodies with corsets and surgery. Share your thoughts. What do you think of this idea of beauty? Do you like or dislike? Would you do it?
Share this post - support us:
I got a lot of feedback from the post I did about the softer side of BDSM.
There are many people out there that either do not like the S&M of BDSM, or just don't practice it. These relationships could be called simple D/s or a Taken In Hand type of relationship.
First, I’m not drawing a distinction between 24/7 D/s and M/s relationships, because I find that different people use the terms in overlapping ways. I’m talking about relationships that involve a full-time power hierarchy. For me, that means relationships in which the two (or more) people involved always relate to one another from a power-based dynamic, and that this dynamic extends outside the time that the people spend in one another’s presence.
Participation in a kink community can be incredibly helpful — it can provide relationship models for you to look at and learn from or discard as needed. Even if everyone around you does their kink differently than you do, that can help you better understand who you are (and are not) and what you’re doing (and not doing).
There are many people out there that either do not like the S&M of BDSM, or just don't practice it. These relationships could be called simple D/s or a Taken In Hand type of relationship.
First, I’m not drawing a distinction between 24/7 D/s and M/s relationships, because I find that different people use the terms in overlapping ways. I’m talking about relationships that involve a full-time power hierarchy. For me, that means relationships in which the two (or more) people involved always relate to one another from a power-based dynamic, and that this dynamic extends outside the time that the people spend in one another’s presence.
There is a
distinction between fantasy and reality. 24/7 relationships happen when you’re
doing it for reasons beyond orgasm (even if arousal and orgasm are a big, or
even essential, part of the draw). This is not a huge ongoing role-play
scenario. It’s an intensification of the power-based parameters in which you
live your everyday life. If you simply try to extend a role-play scenario into
your entire relationship, you’ll find that the narrow parameters of a persona
or character are simply not big enough to encompass who you are, and need to
be, every hour of every day.
24/7 is not about restricting yourself to a
specific set of characteristics the way you can for an hour or two in a scene. It’s
about bringing all of who you are to the table and offering it within a
full-spectrum relationship. That means you’re doing it regardless of what
you’re wearing (leather, work drag, bunny slippers…) and where you are
(bedroom, dungeon, airport, family dinner) and what you’re doing (having sex,
working, eating breakfast, hanging out with friends). Yes, this means you may
need to find ways to scale up and down the overt visibility of your relationship.
No, it does not mean you’re turning it on or off at will. A lot of the classic
“it’s just play” concepts that you might hear in a BDSM 101 workshop are going
to go right out the window here because what you are doing is not a scene. It
comes with a whole different – related, but different – psychology.
Being in a
hurry has probably brought on more heartaches than any single thing we hear
about when discussing failed relationships. Those submissive urges can be very
strong and sometimes overpower common sense unless you really keep things from
getting out of hand. Without first building a foundation of love, trust and
respect, there isn't much hope of any relationship succeeding, especially a D/s
one. Searching for the Dominant of your dreams is pretty much like dating in
the vanilla world but with an added twist. You will have to trust this person
with your life and well-being. You have to really know this person and I
personally do not believe this can happen before you have had several months on
which to base your judgment. Don't be afraid to ask for references from people
he/she knows in the lifestyle. If this creates a problem because you did ask,
I'd consider the possibility that this person has something to hide.
Not fully
understanding your limits and the things expected in this lifestyle can lead to
some serious problems that can be easily avoided. Learn all you can about D/s
and yourself. Make checklist of activities with your potential dominant and
find out what things do and do not interest you. You have the right and
obligation to honestly express your feelings on activities within this
lifestyle. No one likes or needs them all and keeping your real feelings hidden
will only lead to problems later. Keep in mind that dominants have limits too.
For a relationship to be satisfying and healthy it has to be based on mutual
interests and goals.
Communicating
effectively is more than just talking. You have to be able to voice your
concerns, hopes, needs, dreams, disappointments, and hurts as well as all the
positive emotions you so willingly share. Remember it's also listening to what
is said and the way it's said. Gestures, facial expressions and body language
often say more than words. Learning some better communication skills is always
a good investment for your future. A great deal of the dynamics of a D/s
relationship hinges on you openly sharing your fantasies and fears. If there is
something that's causing you to be anxious or has left you unfulfilled, it's
your duty to communicate this to your dominant. The same applies for the things
that have given you pleasure or satisfaction. You have to share what's
happening inside that submissive head and heart. Remember, even the best
dominant is not a mind reader.
Intense
power relationships will bring you face to face with whatever issues you need
to work on. Your ability to sustain your D/s relationship depends on you and
your partner’s willingness to deal with them, and your mutual willingness to
deal with theirs. Hint: if the same thing keeps going wrong in every
relationship, you don’t just need to find the right person; you need to change
yourself. At the same
time as you both commit to working on yourselves, you also need to find a way
to balance this with a commitment to accepting each other as you are. While you
can work on specific things, and while major change does take place sometimes,
you cannot fundamentally change a person into something they are not, and you
certainly can’t expect major change to happen quickly or exactly as you’d like
it to. So don’t enter into a 24/7 relationship if your happiness is going to be
dependent on a radical or immediate personality shift on the others’ part.
D/s
relationships are intense. Have I mentioned that? They are intense,
soul-searching relationships that affect every moment of every day. The kind of
exploration and self-revelation that so often comes with D/s can make you go a
bit nuts if you have no outside support. That support can take many forms:
Participation in a kink community can be incredibly helpful — it can provide relationship models for you to look at and learn from or discard as needed. Even if everyone around you does their kink differently than you do, that can help you better understand who you are (and are not) and what you’re doing (and not doing).
Reading, workshops, discussion groups, and
any number of other educational resources can similarly give you ideas to chew
on, frameworks that may or may not work for you, and language to help you
understand and express what you’re getting up to.
And last
but not least, friends you can talk to about D/s. Non-kinky (but kink-friendly)
friends are a great start, because the kind of challenges that come up in D/s
are often similar to those in any other relationship. But frequently enough,
D/s relationship issues will also have a character all their own, and even the
most open-minded or well-intentioned vanilla friend may have a hard time truly
getting it. It can be extremely helpful to build friendships with fellow D/s
practitioners so you can offer each other a supportive shoulder when needed.
Hint: Don’t wait until you need help… start building those friendships right
away, and make sure you offer your own listening ear.
A brief
caution: a classic warning sign that a D/s relationship is not so healthy is
when one of the partners tells the other not to talk about it with anyone else,
or not to participate in community. Of course you want to maintain basic
respect for each other and your relationship – airing your dirty laundry for
all to see, or trashing your partner loudly at a play party, is just not
classy. But having one or two trusted friends to turn to in times of trouble
can be essential and a wise dominant will encourage the submissive to seek out
support rather than discouraging it.
Patience
takes a long time to build in great depth, and often is the Dominant’s job is
to hold back, not to rush forward. Taking on responsibility for another human
being in a polarized power situation is simply not something that’s wise to do
quickly or carelessly. Take your time. Learn what you need to learn about
yourself, about them, about how to do this well and feel good about it. Don’t
extend past your own limits because you feel pressure to do it all
right-now-tout-de-suite. I do say that it’s often the dominant’s job to hold
back, because sometimes a submissive can be gung-ho and champing at the bit
while their dominant is feeling overwhelmed and struggling to hold tight.
Lastly, it
takes continued work, communication, and an open willingness to continuously
adapt to make a long lasting and loving D/s relationship work and grow stronger. We choose to be open to everyone about the fact we live a 24/7 BDSM or D/s lifestyle. It makes it much easier on us. Many of our vanilla friends do not understand and others have simply stopped talking to us. We are ok with that. Because for us, we are most happy being ourselves and being open with who we are. But, it is up to you and your partner to determine how much you let your vanilla friends know.
Share this post - support us:
This is a piece I wrote on my Facebook page about three months ago.
I have had a lot of questions lately about the hard parts and sexual parts of BDSM. So, I decided to expand this article in hopes to help enlighten the new people that either don't know about the softer side of BDSM or might not understand it. Feel free to leave your thoughts on the subject.
In
mainstream society, a teddy bear is used for comfort. We sleep with them,
cuddle them, and when we were kids, felt like we were safe at night, because
Teddy was watching over us. When you look at this picture, you might think "that's cute" or "what does a teddy bear have to do with BDSM?". I see a pictorial view of a different side of the
Lifestyle, a view that represents the mental and emotional connection of D/s.
BDSM is
most often portrayed in a very harsh and almost sinister way in pictures and videos of women in bondage, gagged and being flogged or whipped. With these kinds of images as the results from internet searches, it's no wonder that many people think bad about the Lifestyle.
Mainstream media never focuses on the softer side of BDSM. They don't understand and can't relate to the feelings a Dom and slave/sub have for one another. They will never understand or focus on how the Dom takes care of and protects His/Her sub. They will never know, write about, or show a Dom cuddling his sub after a scene or after making love. They won't show the adoration, love, and complete devotion a sub/slave feels for the Dominant. If they showed that, well, BDSM might become more acceptable to 'Vanilla People' (horror of horrors).
There are many erotica books for sale now, such as the 50 Shades Trilogy, that are based on the writer's perspective of BDSM. People buy these books/eBooks by the 100's and get only the view of BDSM is nothing but sex, bondage, and punishments. These are all based on fantasy and not reality. There are so many ways to have a BDSM based relationship, I encourage you to read and research real BDSM blogs and books on the subject and not base what you think you may know about BDSM on the erotica, fantasy books.
As a community, we all have our fetishes, kinks, and preferred method of practicing BDSM. Most images I find depict the sub/slave bound, restrained and gagged or being flogged. These images are beautiful and I admit I have a fetish for a woman in collar and leash myself. But, I have never come across a picture that, to me, does such an awesome job of interpreting the softer, non-sexual part of BDSM.
I love the sex portion, but nothing can compare with the feelings of love, devotion, service, protection, structure, guidance and acceptance I get from my Padrone, being His live-in, real life, 24/7 slave.
Share your
thoughts if you wish!
Michelle Fegatofi
Share this post - support us:
If
you are exploring BDSM on the Internet, chances are at some point, you
will be drawn into the world of message boards, chat rooms, and online
D/s. Online D/s is perhaps one of the most controversial subjects in the
Dominance and submission community.
As in any vanilla relationship, a cyber BDSM LDR requires commitment, honesty and time from all participants. It requires an active imagination
As in any vanilla relationship, a cyber BDSM LDR requires commitment, honesty and time from all participants. It requires an active imagination
and
a bit of extra work to keep the power exchange that a BDSM relationship
requires, in place. The Dominant can maintain that feeling of
submission in his submissive using daily rituals, rules and by assigning
tasks. The submissive can do their part to keep the power exchange
healthy through dedication and obedience. Imagination, creativity and
attention become extremely important here. A dominant who neglects the
submissive because they are LDR, will soon find himself without a
submissive. The same goes for the submissive.
Why choose a BDSM LDR? Many of enter online relationships because they are in a community with a small to no D/s presence. Others do so because they are in real life relationships with a vanilla partner that has no inclination of wanting to explore BDSM in any shape or form. As long as the Dominant or submissive is fully honest with all of their partners, these types of relationships can be quite successful. Some use an online D/s relationship to learn more about Dominance and submission, to see if it’s something that they may be interested in for a real time experience.
A cyber relationship, in my experience, can indeed be very real. I base this on personal experience as well as knowledge of other people in relationships of that nature. The mind is the largest sexual organ in humans. Cyber interactions deal directly with the mind. Because of this, one can create a mental and emotional bond much faster online.
It also offers a sense of anonymity that allows people to open up faster and deeper than they would in a face to face conversation. This enhances the feeling of emotional closeness to the person you are interacting with and strengthens the mental bond. This bond is very real to the one who feels it. A relationship is highly individual. Being yourself and not creating all of these fake worlds and backgrounds is an absolute necessity to make a cyber BDSM LDR work. If you have little or no experience in parts of BDSM in reality, then it is most difficult to discuss how you might react to something. This should be made known to your partner. By hiding your lack of experience, you set yourself and your partner up for some serious hurt.
It is easy to get lost in the fantasy part of cyber BDSM. It is also dangerous to believe that everything that happens during cyber sex or scenes, are an exact replica of what would happen in real life. Just because you kneel in cyber, does not mean you can do it in reality. Or just because you can type that you flogged someone, doesn't mean you have the experience or knowledge to actually do so in real life. It is important to keep the fantasy part of cyber interactions separated from the reality part.
With a little effort and lots of honesty and commitment and cyber BDSM relationship can be rewarding and enjoyable for those involved. Keep it real and those rewards and enjoyment become even greater.
Michelle Fegatofi
Why choose a BDSM LDR? Many of enter online relationships because they are in a community with a small to no D/s presence. Others do so because they are in real life relationships with a vanilla partner that has no inclination of wanting to explore BDSM in any shape or form. As long as the Dominant or submissive is fully honest with all of their partners, these types of relationships can be quite successful. Some use an online D/s relationship to learn more about Dominance and submission, to see if it’s something that they may be interested in for a real time experience.
A cyber relationship, in my experience, can indeed be very real. I base this on personal experience as well as knowledge of other people in relationships of that nature. The mind is the largest sexual organ in humans. Cyber interactions deal directly with the mind. Because of this, one can create a mental and emotional bond much faster online.
It also offers a sense of anonymity that allows people to open up faster and deeper than they would in a face to face conversation. This enhances the feeling of emotional closeness to the person you are interacting with and strengthens the mental bond. This bond is very real to the one who feels it. A relationship is highly individual. Being yourself and not creating all of these fake worlds and backgrounds is an absolute necessity to make a cyber BDSM LDR work. If you have little or no experience in parts of BDSM in reality, then it is most difficult to discuss how you might react to something. This should be made known to your partner. By hiding your lack of experience, you set yourself and your partner up for some serious hurt.
It is easy to get lost in the fantasy part of cyber BDSM. It is also dangerous to believe that everything that happens during cyber sex or scenes, are an exact replica of what would happen in real life. Just because you kneel in cyber, does not mean you can do it in reality. Or just because you can type that you flogged someone, doesn't mean you have the experience or knowledge to actually do so in real life. It is important to keep the fantasy part of cyber interactions separated from the reality part.
With a little effort and lots of honesty and commitment and cyber BDSM relationship can be rewarding and enjoyable for those involved. Keep it real and those rewards and enjoyment become even greater.
Michelle Fegatofi
Share this post - support us:
The historical
origins of BDSM are obscure.
During the ninth century BC, ritual flagellations were performed in Artemis Orthia, one of the most important religious areas of ancient Sparta, where the Cult of Orthia, a preolympic religion, was practiced. Here, ritual flagellation called diamastigosis took place on a regular basis.
One of the oldest graphical proofs of
sadomasochistic activities is found in an Etruscan burial site in
Tarquinia (Italy). Inside the Tomba della Fustigazione (Flogging grave or Tomb of the Whipping), in the latter sixth century b.c., two men are portrayed flagellating a
woman with a cane and a hand during an erotic situation. Another
reference related to flagellation is found in the sixth book of
the Satires of the ancient Roman Poet Juvenal (1st–2nd century
A.D.). Anecdotal narratives related to humans who have had themselves voluntary bound,
flagellated or whipped as a substitute for sex or as part of foreplay
reach back to the third and fourth century.
The Kama Sutra describes four different kinds of hitting during lovemaking, the allowed regions of the human body to target and different kinds of 'joyful cries of pain' practiced by bottoms. The collection of historical texts related to sensuous experiences explicitly emphasizes that impact play, biting and pinching during sexual activities should only be performed consensually since only some women consider such behavior to be joyful. From this perspective, the Kama Sutra can be considered as one of the first written resources dealing with sadomasochistic activities and safety rules. Additional texts with sadomasochistic connotation appear worldwide during the following centuries on a regular basis.
There are reports of people willingly being bound or whipped, as a prelude or substitute for sex, during the fourteenth century. Some sources claim that BDSM as a distinct form of sexual behavior originated at the beginning of the eighteenth century when Western civilization began medically and legally categorizing sexual behavior. There are reports of brothels specializing in flagellation as early as 1769. John Cleland's novel Fanny Hill, published in 1749, mentions a flagellation scene. Other sources give a broader definition, citing BDSM-like behavior in earlier times and other cultures, such as the medieval flagellates and the physical ordeal rituals of some Native American societies.
.jpg "Historical Origins of BDSM - flogging")
Although the names of the Marquis de
Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch are attached to the terms sadism
and masochism respectively, Sade's way of life does not meet modern
BDSM standards of informed consent. BDSM ideas and imagery have
existed on the fringes of Western culture throughout the twentieth
century. Robert Bienvenu attributes the origins of modern BDSM to
three sources, which he names as "European Fetish" (from
1928), "American Fetish" (from 1934), and "Gay
Leather" (from 1950).
Another source are the sexual games played
in brothels, which go back into the nineteenth century if not
earlier. Irving Klaw, during the 1950s and 1960s, produced some of
the first commercial film and photography with a BDSM theme (most
notably with Bettie Page) and published comics by the now-iconic
bondage artists John Willie and Eric Stanton.
During the ninth century BC, ritual flagellations were performed in Artemis Orthia, one of the most important religious areas of ancient Sparta, where the Cult of Orthia, a preolympic religion, was practiced. Here, ritual flagellation called diamastigosis took place on a regular basis.
The Kama Sutra describes four different kinds of hitting during lovemaking, the allowed regions of the human body to target and different kinds of 'joyful cries of pain' practiced by bottoms. The collection of historical texts related to sensuous experiences explicitly emphasizes that impact play, biting and pinching during sexual activities should only be performed consensually since only some women consider such behavior to be joyful. From this perspective, the Kama Sutra can be considered as one of the first written resources dealing with sadomasochistic activities and safety rules. Additional texts with sadomasochistic connotation appear worldwide during the following centuries on a regular basis.
There are reports of people willingly being bound or whipped, as a prelude or substitute for sex, during the fourteenth century. Some sources claim that BDSM as a distinct form of sexual behavior originated at the beginning of the eighteenth century when Western civilization began medically and legally categorizing sexual behavior. There are reports of brothels specializing in flagellation as early as 1769. John Cleland's novel Fanny Hill, published in 1749, mentions a flagellation scene. Other sources give a broader definition, citing BDSM-like behavior in earlier times and other cultures, such as the medieval flagellates and the physical ordeal rituals of some Native American societies.
Share this post - support us:
