--> Warning Signs of a Fake Dominant | BDSM Unveiled

Many new people to the world of BDSM don't have the education and/or experience to tell the difference of what is considered 'normal' and what is abuse in the BDSM Lifestyle.

Here is a list of things to look out for that are obvious signs of an Abuser posing as a Dominant.

difference between BDSM and Abuse - BDSM relationships

  • Controlling behavior due to fear of losing their partner.
  • Isolating the submissive from family and friends
  • Discouraging self sufficient behavior
  • Not allowing any social interaction which does not include the Dominant
  • Out of control jealousy
  • Explosive temper
  • Behaves like a spoiled child when not getting his/her way
  • Abuses drugs/alcohol
  • Does not take responsibility for mistakes
  • Uses unhealthy behavior to gain control over the submissive
  • Emotional Blackmail - example: Keeping the submissive in a constant state of fear that the relationship will end if they don't get their way.
  • Emotional Withdrawal - example: Using the "silent treatment" or physically withdrawing and cutting off all contact rather than communicating and taking responsibility for the situation.
  • Withdrawal of affection
  • Refusing any/all intimacy as a punishment which can be quite damaging and reinforces the fear that the submissive will lose the relationship unless he/she gives into this type of blackmail.
If your Dominant shows any of these signs on a consistent basis, please seek advice or help from experienced Dominants or subs to get an unbiased opinion of the situation.

knowledge is power - difference between BDSM and Abuse

Post title: " Warning Signs of a Fake Dominant "
Red line


  1. well put :) there are some incredibly ill people out there. please don't let yourself get in a position from which you can escape (physically, financially, etc.) you can find somebody who loves you and will still help you make your heart's desires <3

  2. Excellent post! If you are ever interested in sharing your blog post via KinkEMagazine we would be happy to have you on board.

    1. I would definitely be interested and thank you for the comment! Please contact me directly at michellefegatofi@gmail.com.

  3. seems like a very interesting site. honestly it is about time someone started putting the lifestyle out there, without being ashamed of it.
    to Ms Fegatofi sure do admire your guts! never give up! never quit!

  4. Mine did everyone of these also needed to be praised by many women I lost everything I had because I didnt see this and many were hurt I had to cross 3 states to feel safe now he sees and wants me back I just hope he gets the help he needs and I can heal over time the lies and accusations too when you add drugs it only compounds it and makes it crazy I wished I'd seen this list first maybe before it ever got serious I might have done something as it is I will always love the man and hope he is well may even work it out if he truly works on himself returns belongings basically he has to prove himself to me even then I just dont know


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