Michelle Fegatofi

The Purest Commitment

by Michelle Fegatofi

The Love of a Master can not be compared to anything else in this Life,

For a Master's Love is unbreakable through all manner of woes, illness and strife.

As people in your life come and go, even family drifts away,

A submissive always knows her Master is there to stay.

A bond so deep and pure, that it sets your heart to leaping,

A Love so very strong, simply witnessing it will have you weeping.

Our rituals and ways seem brutal and foreign to many across the land,

But nothing compares to the feelings of being taken in hand.

As Master commands, we serve with pride in any way His will may be,

For the love we share and the trust we feel, allows us to serve freely and proudly on bended knee.

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Michelle Fegatofi

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Many of you have read about the Gorean Lifestyle while researching BDSM or reading my blog.
I didn't realize that I had not done a more in depth post about it to explain what it is. I hope this helps you understand it more.

In 1967 John Norman (real name John Frederick Lange Jr.) released a book called Tarnsman of Gor, a book detailing life on Gor and its inhabitants. This turned into a series with 26 books in print today, called Chronicles of Gor. His books are carefully detailed that explain everything from Gorean food to Gorean rituals, and focus on adventures in Gor and the natural role of genders. Gorean philosophy believes that men have a natural drive to dominate women; women have a strong desire to submit to men and give up their rights. Women are either free or enslaved, but free women can be enslaved at any time.

The majority of Goreans who pursue a "lifestyle" approach often do not consider what they do to be BDSM. However, they are generally considered part of the "kinky" subculture. In that context, they reject the idea of isolated "scenes". Instead, their practices may be described as 24/7, dominance & submission, and/or Total Power Exchange relationships. BDSM concepts of servitude and slavery typically play a key role in Gorean dynamics.

Gor is comparatively more intense than other lifestyles, because Gor does not depend on scening. People who follow Gor do not consider it to be a role-play, or a scene, but in fact say that they are leading the lifestyle - which cannot be denied because there are after all twenty seven books that outline the life and times of the Gorean region.

There are Gorean role players, both online and in real life, who play a "role" of a Gorean, usually having to do with masters and slaves. What makes someone a role player is that this isn't really how they live their real life, and they differentiate between Gor and reality. They often refer to "Gor" or being "in Gor" as opposed to being in reality. It is like a part time thing or a hobby for these individuals.

There are many Goreans out there that don't just role-play the Gorean lifestyle, many of them not being role-players at all. In fact, they live the Gorean life on a 24/7 basis. They too call themselves Goreans and they too subscribe to the principles described in the books written by John Norman.

Most Goreans live a counter version of the BDSM Master/slave lifestyle that is filled with rules and protocols defined in the books of Gor. The books give them a rule set so to speak to define their lifestyle dynamic. A dynamic that any Gorean you talk to is likely to say, they'd practice it no other way.

Most of these households, groups and "camps" seem to focus mainly on the "Warrior" and Master/slave aspects of the books, and many have gone far beyond the bounds of legality or what most of us see as sanity or reason in terms of that they deem acceptable in their actions and dealings with others.

Philosophy of Gorean Slavery

• Goreans believe that women have a natural desire to be slaves. Every woman has this desire.

• Women have a huge desire to please men. They strive for perfection. They want to be submissive. Women want to be controlled by men. A man's word is final.

• Gor strictly believes in the 'natural order'. There aren't any exceptions to this rule. Men always dominate, women always submit.

• All women 'beg the collar' (desire a master). Women slaves are collared once owned and beg to
  be owned, according to Gorean philosophy.

• Masters consider their slaves property. They are to keep their property in top condition. If slaves don't meet their standards, they are disciplined. This involves punishment, including imprisonment and whippings.

• Although Gorean philosophy says that all women have rights, free women can be enslaved at any time.

  

Types of Gorean Slaves

• White Silk Slaves: A woman slave who hasn't lost her virginity. This is indicated by tying a white ribbon to her collar.
  

• Red Silk Slaves: A woman slave that has had sex. This is indicated by tying a red ribbon to her collar.
  

Slaves are separated into these categories:

• Pleasure Slave: A slave trained in the arts of pleasure, including slave dance, slave positions (note: these are not sexual positions, but positions used in their culture), cooking, being pleasant, and sexual services.

• Passion Slave: A slave trained and used for sexual services only.

• Feast Slaves: A slave that serves food along with other personal services decide by their master.

• Serving Slaves: A slave usually owned by a woman master. They prepare warm baths, help remove clothing, comb hair, and complete most domestic chores.

• House Girls: Same as Serving Slaves, but they only complete domestic chores. They are owned
  by Masters. 

This does not include all categories. Gorean slaves typically wear a tunic and a collar. Followers of Gor believe Gorean slaves have rights of being a woman. They want to perform, act, and be a woman. Being a woman, according to Gorean philosophy, is pleasing a man in various ways.

Rights of a Gorean Slave

• Once you are a Gorean slave, you lose all human rights. Anything you did before enslavement is erased from your past. You are not to talk about it, since your identity is kajira, a slave.

• Slaves aren't seen as people. They are, according to Gorean followers, human animals.

• Masters make decisions for them. They lose rights to their name. Their master chooses their name, although slaves are not allowed to refer to themselves by name.

• Their master can discipline or destroy their property at any time. Gorean law fully supports this.

• A kajira's only goal in life is to bring pleasure and comfort to their master.

• There are different types of women slaves. Some slaves purely serve as sexual objects, while others are masterful at cooking.

• Slaves do not question anything. They do as they are told. Refusal to do anything results in discipline.

• Slaves must strive for perfection.

• Not only must slaves do their work well, but it must be done in a feminine, graceful way that expresses their sexuality.

• Gorean women retain the right to refuse slavery. If a master wants to enslave a woman and she refuses, however, she may be killed.

As you can see, there are many differences in being a Gorean kajira and a BDSM submissive/slave. Which and how you choose to practice either Lifestyle is up to you.

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After the huge response I received from my readers about BDSM and Body Image, I wanted to expand on that and give you some extra tips you can try to help yourself or your sub gain confidence and a better acceptance of their own bodies.

After 40 years of being female, I've come to the conclusion that a healthy, positive body image is hard to find, and neither caftans nor liposuction nor photo-shopping is the answer. Feeling good in your skin has nothing to do with whether you’re a size 2 or 22; it’s all about having a positive body image.

Having a poor body image means that you view your body in a negative light. You look at yourself and see only the negative. This often occurs when people with low self-esteem only see their physical flaws, most often when they look in the mirror.

If you are into the BDSM scene, most likely you are going to be naked any number of times. The first thing you have to remember is that your Dominant loves how you look. He has taken you as his submissive. He is proud of you and who you are. Take a moment to think about that. Really absorb it.

When using a mirror, look at your body in its entirety. 

Try not to look at your body as individual parts. Don’t use a magnifying mirror when you look at your face. Look in the mirror and observe your whole body. When you do this, you might like what you see. Be at peace with your self-image by giving the mirror a rest.

Stay off the scale.

Daily fluctuations in water weight can tip the scale up to five pounds in either direction, so if you step on the scale every day, you might be tempted to micromanage yourself. If you need to monitor your weight to stay on track or maintain, set aside a weekly or bi-weekly time to step on the scale. And don’t weigh yourself the week before your period, because you’ll most likely put on two to five pounds of water weight then. If you think you can do without the scale altogether, toss it and just go by how your clothes fit and how you feel.

Throw away your ideas of “normal.”

Serena Williams and Arnold Schwarzenegger (whose BMIs are 32 and 33, respectively) are both considered “obese” according to the accepted healthy range of 18.5-24.9. But neither one is anywhere near fat. Remember that everyone is built differently, with different heights, bone densities, and amounts of muscle (which weighs more than fat) on their bodies. Just because your friend is a size 4 to 6 doesn’t mean that’s the right place for you to be.

Notice that there are all types of bodies in all shapes, sizes and skin tones. 

What you see in the media is not a representation of the human race. Appreciate the differences you see around you and appreciate your own individual looks.

Heal your body image by taking note of how you talk to yourself about your body and change it if necessary. 

Instead of, “I’m so fat and ugly, I hate myself,” tell yourself, “I have beautiful eyes and I am a good friend. The package may not be perfect, but it does need to be loved.”

Take sexy pictures that show you in your most positive light. 

Set up a camera with a self timer or ask a friend or Dominant take pictures of you with your hair and makeup done and in lingerie or skimpy clothing that all help to accentuate your body. Pick a couple of the images and put them on your cell phone or your laptop, anywhere you can access them easily. Look at them at different times during the day to reassure yourself how beautiful you are in your own skin.

I hope these extra tips and insights help all of you no matter your gender or body type love yourself more. We are all beautiful in our own way. Always remember that.

Also remember, the more confident and sexy you as a submissive feel, the more free you will be to serve your Dominant because the huge weight of self consciousnesses won't be hanging around your neck.

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Body image.

It is something that we rarely talk about in the scene and yet, so many of us struggle with it. Are you someone who hesitates to strip down to nothing at that play party because you are plagued with a negative body image? Do you hold back in a scene because you are consumed with thoughts of how you look in a scene instead of being able to find joy and pleasure in your play? Or are you a Top who has a submissive who is having difficulty connecting with you because she is more of a slave to food and body obsession than to you?

It seems like there is a whole generation of us that grew up with body-hatred, feeling imperfect and not-beautiful, no matter what we looked like. Too thin, too fat, to busty, too flat, too tall, too short, wide hips, no hips, too much ass, not enough. A never-ending litany of what is wrong with us physically, reinforced by images on television, in movies and in print that we could never hope to live up to; growing up understanding that how we look is the most important thing about us. And that it was never good enough.

The scene offers some wonderful things that the vanilla world does not. While we come from all walks of life, BDSMers all have a love for the alternative. We are not people who spend every Wednesday night engaged in military-style intercourse. We love passion, the power exchange, and the magic of sexual self-expression. This attitude translates, generally speaking, into a more open-minded attitude toward size, not to mention age, gender, race, and orientation.

Unlike our vanilla friends who rarely see large naked bodies, we have many opportunities through play parties and demos to look at, get used to, and eventually admire the soft curves of fat people. It is at first astounding, and then liberating to see a large man or woman walk around a play party stark naked, proud of their body, fully loved. It's hard not to like someone who likes herself so much.

I discovered with time and support from my Padrone that my body, with its ability to do all these things we do, to transform pleasure into pain, to bend and twist and tolerate being bound, to find pleasure in all this, was an asset. He always looks at me appreciatively, and, suddenly, I wasn’t invisible. I was fulfilling one of the most fundamental cores that I had been raised to believe was the most important thing in being female—being attractive to men—and I reveled in it. From the time He took me on as his slave, I have not looked back. Sure, I have times I think or verbalize I wish this was different, this was smaller, or that not so saggy. He gives me 'the look' and I snap out of it really quick!

Model: Arachnia

The thing about body issues is that everyone has them, women and men, thin and fat, you and me. If you want to get over self-criticism, here are some things you can try. Start by communicating with your body, using affirmations to find the beautiful parts about yourself, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Listen to what your body has to say, and respect your own path. This is the foundation of self-love. If you love yourself, loving your body will follow.

On the practical side, go to some play parties or other public situations where you will be able to observe people of all sizes and shapes enjoying themselves. Replace any critical thoughts in your head with positive ones about the beauty of their bodies, whether it be good skin, soft curves, great butt to spank, strong muscles, or wonderful handfuls of breasts. Talk to your friends about what beautiful thing you saw in this larger person. If it's not a physical attribute, notice their courage for playing in public, their love of their own body, or their unself-consciousness. For the female Dominant, size can be an advantage, projecting a powerful physical presence which attracts Submissives. If you have this advantage, use it.

Developing a Healthy Body Image

1. Listen to your body. Eat when you are hungry.
2. Be realistic about the size you are likely to be based on your genetic and environmental history.
3. Exercise regularly in an enjoyable way, regardless of size.
4. Expect normal weekly and monthly changes in weight and shape.
5. Work towards self acceptance and self forgiveness- be gentle with yourself.
6. Ask for support and encouragement from friends and family when life is stressful.
7. Decide how you wish to spend your energy -- pursuing the "perfect body image" or enjoying family, friends, school and, most importantly, life.

Think of the three A's

• Attention: Refers to listening for and responding to internal cues (i.e., hunger, satiety, fatigue).
• Appreciation: Refers to appreciating the pleasures your body can provide.
• Acceptance: Refers to accepting what is -- instead of longing for what is not.

With time, support, and a lot of self reflection, you too can become comfortable with and learn to love your body, no matter the shape.

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NO WORDS ARE NEEDED
by Michelle Fegatofi

No words are needed because your touch speaks to me,
No words are needed because your eyes tell me what you see.
No words are needed for my soul fills your own,
No words are needed because you are my home.

No spoken word can replace the feelings that I get,
From the very first day that we met.
No spoken word can tell me what you feel inside,
Because your actions, attentions, and eyes won’t let it hide.
Everything you do, every move you make,
I know how you feel, and I am forever yours to take.

I am your sub and proudly your slave,
I am whatever you tell me to be and how to behave.
You own my body and you own my soul,
Now and forever, beyond the days we grow old.

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