Michelle Fegatofi

This past year of blogging has brought many changes to not only my own self, but to our online community as well.

Through contact with literally thousands of people, I have guided, counseled, laughed, cried and helped in many different situations. I have seen some good changes, some bad changes, and a huge movement around the world by moralistic people to get our community confined to sites that either specialize in BDSM or porn.

The Readers

I think I have some of the most supportive readers out there. I have had many chats, discussions, and even debates about different views and ways to practice the Lifestyle. I have learned new techniques, new buzz words in the community, broadened my own view on some of the harsher sides of BDSM that I rarely talk about or practice, and many other things too numerous to get into further.

My fan base has become a mixture of men and women from all walks of life that have many different levels of experience. I love the new people that trust in my writings enough to email me a private question they are to scared to ask out in the open.

Some of the best feelings that I have gotten are from the wonderful feedback and updates from you guys after I have helped or advised you on a problem. I have had some that are so touching and grateful for my help that I literally could not hold back the tears of happiness.

The Separatists

This past year, I have seen some really bad changes within our online communities. It seems that there are groups of people that think it's better to divide the community into what they think of as the "true pages" and the "fakes". I have seen this on many different social sites, but FB is the worst. These types of groups are hunting down pages that either refuse to join in their separatist philosophy or that they just do not like.

I myself have been a victim of these groups and have refused to get involved and even acknowledge their existence for the most part as it just adds fuel to their fire, so to speak. They have tried many different attack approaches such as spreading rumors about me that are untrue and telling all of their new readers that I am a fake. If being in and around the lifestyle for over 21 years, being trained as a Gorean kajira for two years, and living in a 24/7 M/s relationship since August of 2011 makes me a fake, well I guess I need to revamp my kinkionary.

I have always said and will continue to say that we are better off together than separate, especially now that the moralists are after the large online companies to extremely restrict our activities and presence on the internet.

I hope that one day these separatist cliques will decide to rejoin the mainstream BDSM community so that we can show the world that we are united.

The Moralistic Movement

In May of this year, an online Twitter movement was started by right wing activists to get adult content removed from most social media sites like Facebook and Google. They first only said they wanted derogatory and rape images removed and banned from being posted on the sites. But soon, they moved into pictures that are a normal site to those of us that practice a BDSM lifestyle such as a woman getting spanked or in bondage.

In late May, the first wave of page removals started hitting FB. Along with many that were hit in that first round, one of my original pages was taken down. Since then, FB, Yahoo, Google, Twitter, Pinterest and many others have bowed to the pressure these moralistic people have put on them and changed their policies. They are getting so ridiculous in their pursuit that people's accounts are being shut down because someone reported them and stated that they were offended or didn't like something that the person said or posted.

While I agree that images portraying abused women and children should be very much policed and not allowed to be shown, I think there needs to be exceptions for women portrayed in bondage and other BDSM settings since these activities are consensual within our community.

In the Future

I have hope that we will unite together as a community and try to make our presence in the online communities more concrete. There will always be those that condemn us for our beliefs and practice, but at least we can try to present the real and beautiful picture that makes up our lifestyle.

I also hope that those groups that are dividing the online community will stop attacking others that do not subscribe to their way of thinking, being, or doing and try to either mend fences or just let everything coexist in harmony. It's sad when someone that supposedly practices an alternative lifestyle that teaches tolerance can be so intolerant.

Lastly, I hope to continue to bring all of you great info, a different perspective, and hopefully more knowledge about various subjects that is BDSM.

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Michelle Fegatofi

Hello kinksters! It's been brought to my attention that there are certain people that have bigger BDSM pages on FB trying to spread rumors, saying untrue things about many page owners and basically declaring that many pages are fakes.

Our thoughts on this are that there will always be people who love starting drama and strife while claiming to be an innocent victim.

We don't need, want, nor participate in this type of activity because it's childish. We need to stick together as a community as there are already many forces at corporate levels trying to sensor us in many places around the internet.

Yes, there are people that I don't like but I choose to ignore they even exist in the world as it makes it a better place in my opinion.

So, if you hear things about me and you want the truth, simply ask. I'm here to educate and help guide people into the lifestyle. That's been my goal and mission since day one.

I hope you stay and continue to grow with us here but if you feel the need to leave, we will understand.

Thanks for listening.

Michelle Fegatofi 

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Michelle Fegatofi

Wikipedia describes Mental BDSM as the collection of activities intended to create a psychological impact, often without a physical component. Another noteworthy but controversial example is the 'mind fuck', wherein a state of confusion and/or psychological conflict is intentionally created. While mental 'players' have considerably less documented material to study, an active Internet community and classes offered through local groups and conventions, provide many learning opportunities.

Mental submission is the act of submitting in your mind to the will of another. It is a decision made of a person's own free will after they have met someone they completely trust, they can communicate openly with, and have the need and desire to submit to. They only make this decision after careful consideration and after time has passed.

Mental submission might come in many forms and for different reasons. Some people meet online and connect deeply but live in different places so can't be together physically. Others may have physical limitations that don't allow them to kneel, perform scenes, or practice the more physical acts often associated with BDSM. In these cases, mental submission may be the only option for them to experience a BDSM Lifestyle.

Now, some of you may argue that it's not 'real BDSM' if that physical part is not there. I don't agree. Scientific studies have shown that sex is 90% mental with 10% physical stimulation. Let's look at a different example: Age. When we get older, our bodies are not able to function at 60 the same way they did at 40 or 20. There are more limitations that we have to endure and work around, even if in our own minds we think we can still do whatever we did the past 40 years. It's just not physically possible. If you read my past posts on BDSM and aging, you will understand my reasons better. People over 60 still want and do have sex. They just do it less often than a horny 20 year old. They connect on a much deeper level than that of younger generations. Mentally, they are perfectly able to submit to someone that is Dominant. Does that mean someone that's older can't still practice BDSM? No.

Mental submission has always been around but not as prevalent as it is now. With the invention of the internet, smart phones, and video chats, technology has enabled more people to explore the world of BDSM. The internet gives those that are shy, scared or just curious, the ability to seek out knowledge and have talks with real life practicing subs, about the Lifestyle.

I have written many different articles about online BDSM and various aspects of it. This is always a hot topic and new points of views are always emerging from it. If you are one of those that carry the attitude that a 'real BDSM relationship' can only be carried out if the people see each other in real life, I hope this article gives you a new way of viewing BDSM in this new world. 

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Michelle Fegatofi

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Michelle Fegatofi

Ever get confused about which social media sites we are on? Well now you can download our custom toolbar and follow us at the click of a button!

Click this picture in the right sidebar or click the link below and follow the simple instructions!

https://s3.amazonaws.com/com.alexa.toolbar/atbp/1OFz9W/download/index.htm

Get connected today!

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