In life we choose to walk different paths.
We might make a decision that takes us in a direction we never expected or we might make a wrong choice that leads us to a life we never wanted. But, you have to have the courage to choose a path, to make a choice. In life, it can be very scary to choose a path you've never walked before, do things that you've never done before, because you don't know the outcome. That is one of the things that makes life so wonderful to live. You never know what is around the next corner.
The journey into BDSM is very similar. There are many different styles, different forms and levels of submission, and different ways you can be dominate. One of the best things of this lifestyle is that it is ever-evolving. It's your own journey; one that you have to forge on your own or in conjunction with your partner. Once you have the basic knowledge, the possibilities are endless.
My blog, bdsmunveiled.com and many others similar to it, can guide you in different forms of the Lifestyle and inform you of how we, the writers of the blogs, live the lifestyle ourselves. We can educate you on types of play, different dynamics in relationships, toys, protocols, and many other subjects related to BDSM. It is ultimately up to the Dominate and submissive/slave to decide the dynamics, boundaries, rules and regulations of their own relationship.
The one thing you have to remember is you cannot be afraid of change. As with most things in life, relationships in BDSM can change and evolve, and hopefully yours will also. The more you learn and explore, the closer you will become to your partner and the further into submission you can get.
Some of the changes a person can go though from a loving BDSM M/s or D/s relationship is amazing. Readers have sent emails to me telling me about their own illnesses that have gotten better from living a 24/7 BDSM relationship. My own epilepsy has gotten much better over the past two years that I have been a 24/7 slave. With the right combination of rules, guidelines, and structure, it has allowed me to focus on my writing as well as to be delve deep into submission to my Padrone.
My own relationship with Padrone is ever evolving also. The longer we are together, we have grown closer. We have learned more about each other, our strengths and weaknesses, likes, morals, etc. which has allowed our own M/s relationship to deepen to a profound level.
There are items in every relationship that are steady and constant, but there are other items that are either additions or changes, such as rules, guidelines, or daily tasks around the house. The one constant that never changes and is a foundation is the trust, the love and the two way communication that we always have with each other. Those are completely 100 percent essential for any BDSM relationship to work.
So, what is the point to all this you may ask? My point is this. Be cautious in your journey, gather as much knowledge as you can, but be open to new and evolving experiences. you honestly never know what's around the next corner.
We might make a decision that takes us in a direction we never expected or we might make a wrong choice that leads us to a life we never wanted. But, you have to have the courage to choose a path, to make a choice. In life, it can be very scary to choose a path you've never walked before, do things that you've never done before, because you don't know the outcome. That is one of the things that makes life so wonderful to live. You never know what is around the next corner.
The journey into BDSM is very similar. There are many different styles, different forms and levels of submission, and different ways you can be dominate. One of the best things of this lifestyle is that it is ever-evolving. It's your own journey; one that you have to forge on your own or in conjunction with your partner. Once you have the basic knowledge, the possibilities are endless.
My blog, bdsmunveiled.com and many others similar to it, can guide you in different forms of the Lifestyle and inform you of how we, the writers of the blogs, live the lifestyle ourselves. We can educate you on types of play, different dynamics in relationships, toys, protocols, and many other subjects related to BDSM. It is ultimately up to the Dominate and submissive/slave to decide the dynamics, boundaries, rules and regulations of their own relationship.
The one thing you have to remember is you cannot be afraid of change. As with most things in life, relationships in BDSM can change and evolve, and hopefully yours will also. The more you learn and explore, the closer you will become to your partner and the further into submission you can get.
Some of the changes a person can go though from a loving BDSM M/s or D/s relationship is amazing. Readers have sent emails to me telling me about their own illnesses that have gotten better from living a 24/7 BDSM relationship. My own epilepsy has gotten much better over the past two years that I have been a 24/7 slave. With the right combination of rules, guidelines, and structure, it has allowed me to focus on my writing as well as to be delve deep into submission to my Padrone.
My own relationship with Padrone is ever evolving also. The longer we are together, we have grown closer. We have learned more about each other, our strengths and weaknesses, likes, morals, etc. which has allowed our own M/s relationship to deepen to a profound level.
There are items in every relationship that are steady and constant, but there are other items that are either additions or changes, such as rules, guidelines, or daily tasks around the house. The one constant that never changes and is a foundation is the trust, the love and the two way communication that we always have with each other. Those are completely 100 percent essential for any BDSM relationship to work.
So, what is the point to all this you may ask? My point is this. Be cautious in your journey, gather as much knowledge as you can, but be open to new and evolving experiences. you honestly never know what's around the next corner.
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Many of you have read about the Gorean Lifestyle while researching BDSM or reading my blog.
I didn't realize that I had not done a more in depth post about it to explain what it is. I hope this helps you understand it more.
In 1967 John Norman (real name John Frederick Lange Jr.) released a book called Tarnsman of Gor, a book detailing life on Gor and its inhabitants. This turned into a series with 26 books in print today, called Chronicles of Gor. His books are carefully detailed that explain everything from Gorean food to Gorean rituals, and focus on adventures in Gor and the natural role of genders. Gorean philosophy believes that men have a natural drive to dominate women; women have a strong desire to submit to men and give up their rights. Women are either free or enslaved, but free women can be enslaved at any time.
The majority of Goreans who pursue a "lifestyle" approach often do not consider what they do to be BDSM. However, they are generally considered part of the "kinky" subculture. In that context, they reject the idea of isolated "scenes". Instead, their practices may be described as 24/7, dominance & submission, and/or Total Power Exchange relationships. BDSM concepts of servitude and slavery typically play a key role in Gorean dynamics.
Gor is comparatively more intense than other lifestyles, because Gor does not depend on scening. People who follow Gor do not consider it to be a role-play, or a scene, but in fact say that they are leading the lifestyle - which cannot be denied because there are after all twenty seven books that outline the life and times of the Gorean region.
There are Gorean role players, both online and in real life, who play a "role" of a Gorean, usually having to do with masters and slaves. What makes someone a role player is that this isn't really how they live their real life, and they differentiate between Gor and reality. They often refer to "Gor" or being "in Gor" as opposed to being in reality. It is like a part time thing or a hobby for these individuals.
There are many Goreans out there that don't just role-play the Gorean lifestyle, many of them not being role-players at all. In fact, they live the Gorean life on a 24/7 basis. They too call themselves Goreans and they too subscribe to the principles described in the books written by John Norman.
Most Goreans live a counter version of the BDSM Master/slave lifestyle that is filled with rules and protocols defined in the books of Gor. The books give them a rule set so to speak to define their lifestyle dynamic. A dynamic that any Gorean you talk to is likely to say, they'd practice it no other way.
Most of these households, groups and "camps" seem to focus mainly on the "Warrior" and Master/slave aspects of the books, and many have gone far beyond the bounds of legality or what most of us see as sanity or reason in terms of that they deem acceptable in their actions and dealings with others.
This does not include all categories. Gorean slaves typically wear a tunic and a collar. Followers of Gor believe Gorean slaves have rights of being a woman. They want to perform, act, and be a woman. Being a woman, according to Gorean philosophy, is pleasing a man in various ways.
I didn't realize that I had not done a more in depth post about it to explain what it is. I hope this helps you understand it more.
In 1967 John Norman (real name John Frederick Lange Jr.) released a book called Tarnsman of Gor, a book detailing life on Gor and its inhabitants. This turned into a series with 26 books in print today, called Chronicles of Gor. His books are carefully detailed that explain everything from Gorean food to Gorean rituals, and focus on adventures in Gor and the natural role of genders. Gorean philosophy believes that men have a natural drive to dominate women; women have a strong desire to submit to men and give up their rights. Women are either free or enslaved, but free women can be enslaved at any time.
The majority of Goreans who pursue a "lifestyle" approach often do not consider what they do to be BDSM. However, they are generally considered part of the "kinky" subculture. In that context, they reject the idea of isolated "scenes". Instead, their practices may be described as 24/7, dominance & submission, and/or Total Power Exchange relationships. BDSM concepts of servitude and slavery typically play a key role in Gorean dynamics.
Gor is comparatively more intense than other lifestyles, because Gor does not depend on scening. People who follow Gor do not consider it to be a role-play, or a scene, but in fact say that they are leading the lifestyle - which cannot be denied because there are after all twenty seven books that outline the life and times of the Gorean region.
There are Gorean role players, both online and in real life, who play a "role" of a Gorean, usually having to do with masters and slaves. What makes someone a role player is that this isn't really how they live their real life, and they differentiate between Gor and reality. They often refer to "Gor" or being "in Gor" as opposed to being in reality. It is like a part time thing or a hobby for these individuals.
There are many Goreans out there that don't just role-play the Gorean lifestyle, many of them not being role-players at all. In fact, they live the Gorean life on a 24/7 basis. They too call themselves Goreans and they too subscribe to the principles described in the books written by John Norman.
Most Goreans live a counter version of the BDSM Master/slave lifestyle that is filled with rules and protocols defined in the books of Gor. The books give them a rule set so to speak to define their lifestyle dynamic. A dynamic that any Gorean you talk to is likely to say, they'd practice it no other way.
Most of these households, groups and "camps" seem to focus mainly on the "Warrior" and Master/slave aspects of the books, and many have gone far beyond the bounds of legality or what most of us see as sanity or reason in terms of that they deem acceptable in their actions and dealings with others.
Philosophy of Gorean Slavery
- Goreans believe that women have a natural desire to be slaves. Every woman has this desire.
- Women have a huge desire to please men. They strive for perfection. They want to be submissive. Women want to be controlled by men. A man's word is final.
- Gor strictly believes in the 'natural order'. There aren't any exceptions to this rule. Men always dominate, women always submit.
- All women 'beg the collar' (desire a master). Women slaves are collared once owned and beg to
be owned, according to Gorean philosophy.
- Masters consider their slaves property. They are to keep their property in top condition. If slaves don't meet their standards, they are disciplined. This involves punishment, including imprisonment and whippings.
- Although Gorean philosophy says that all women have rights, free women can be enslaved at any time.
Types of Gorean Slaves
- White Silk Slaves: A woman slave who hasn't lost her virginity. This is indicated by tying a white ribbon to her collar.
- Red Silk Slaves: A woman slave that has had sex. This is indicated by tying a red ribbon to her collar.
- Pleasure Slave: A slave trained in the arts of pleasure, including slave dance, slave positions (note: these are not sexual positions, but positions used in their culture), cooking, being pleasant, and sexual services.
- Passion Slave: A slave trained and used for sexual services only.
- Feast Slaves: A slave that serves food along with other personal services decide by their master.
- Serving Slaves: A slave usually owned by a woman master. They prepare warm baths, help remove clothing, comb hair, and complete most domestic chores.
- House Girls: Same as Serving Slaves, but they only complete domestic chores. They are owned
by Masters.
This does not include all categories. Gorean slaves typically wear a tunic and a collar. Followers of Gor believe Gorean slaves have rights of being a woman. They want to perform, act, and be a woman. Being a woman, according to Gorean philosophy, is pleasing a man in various ways.
Rights of a Gorean Slave
- Once you are a Gorean slave, you lose all human rights. Anything you did before enslavement is erased from your past. You are not to talk about it, since your identity is kajira, a slave.
- Slaves aren't seen as people. They are, according to Gorean followers, human animals.
- Masters make decisions for them. They lose rights to their name. Their master chooses their name, although slaves are not allowed to refer to themselves by name.
- Their master can discipline or destroy their property at any time. Gorean law fully supports this.
- A kajira's only goal in life is to bring pleasure and comfort to their master.
- There are different types of women slaves. Some slaves purely serve as sexual objects, while others are masterful at cooking.
- Slaves do not question anything. They do as they are told. Refusal to do anything results in discipline.
- Slaves must strive for perfection.
- Not only must slaves do their work well, but it must be done in a feminine, graceful way that expresses their sexuality.
- Gorean women retain the right to refuse slavery. If a master wants to enslave a woman and she refuses, however, she may be killed.
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There are many types of BDSM relationships, from one-on-one monogamous, submissive swapping, to monogamous Poly families.
Polyamory is defined as the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. The term "polyamorous" can refer to the nature of a relationship at some point in time or to a philosophy or relationship orientation (much like gender or sexual orientation). It is sometimes used as an umbrella term that covers various forms of multiple relationships; polyamorous arrangements are varied, reflecting the choices and philosophies of the individuals involved. Polyamory is a less specific term than polygamy, the practice or condition of having more than one spouse.
Polyamorous relationships take many forms and can include many different levels of intimacy. In some relationships, a couple will have a single dedicated partner with whom they share a series of affairs. Another person may be actively “single” while participating occasionally or often in the committed relationships of others. A couple may be committed to each other and to a third… or to another couple. One person who is part of a couple may be dedicated to another person who is also in a committed relationship, without the involvement their significant others. The possibilities are limited only by the needs and desires of the parties involved.
Polyamory is not something you involve yourself in because it will please your dominant. You have to desire to be in a relationship with more than one person and more than one gender. It has to come from inside you and you have to ensure that when you involve yourself with a dominant that has candidly stated that he wants more than one submissive or slave, or get involved with a couple, that you are very sure of yourself and not at all prone to jealousy.
The roles have to be clearly defined and there must be complete honesty in everything that happens. Everyone must be able to share their feelings and thoughts as they happen and prevent any bad feelings from simmering and damaging the dynamic. A submissive in a relationship with a dominant and multiple other submissives should know that all of the submissives are important and that in the end it is a privilege to serve a dominant who provides for everyone. The moment jealousy and entitlement interferes, the groups tend to break up, even when all involved cared about each other. Submission in a polyamorous situation takes even more strength than submission to one does.
If you are thinking about involving playmates or bringing on a permanent new equal as a 3rd, you have to have ground rules that all will agree to and follow. This is very important to make sure that everyone feels equal and included in all dynamics of the relationship. Open and Honest communication between all parties is a must. There can be no secrets. If you are feeling any type of negative feelings, you should tell your Dominant first and then the partner with whom you have the negative feelings as soon as possible. If you don't, it will just fester and grow until a big blow up occurs.
Be careful in picking the potential playmate/new addition. Remember, there are people out there that are very deceptive and will pretend to be one way, until they get into the relationship, then slowly try to push you apart from your Dominant. Before inviting anyone to join you, make sure you and your Dominant have deep talks about the new person and lay all of your feelings, wants, needs, desires and expectations on the table. Make sure you are very sure and have given a lot of time into getting to know the new person before allowing them closer into your family.
Overall, a poly family can be a very loving, very fulling experience, as long as all parties stay honest and open with their feelings.
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