I have recently received many questions from new and unattached submissives asking for my thoughts on Submissive/Slave resumes.
I honestly haven't thought much about them because I have never used, or had use for, one myself. I do think they could be used as a handy tool for both the submissive and any potential Dominants they might come across.
So, what would a new submissive put on a resume? I know you might be thinking that since you have never been in a BDSM relationship, nor had any formal training, you really have nothing of value that would make sense to put on this type of document. That is where you are wrong. You have Life experience. You have your abilities, hobbies, and hard limits. Take this opportunity to really set yourself apart from other potential applicants. Use the document to give potential Dominants a real sense of who you are as a person, not just your abilities.
Here is a list of different sections that should be included on a submissive resume. (Note: I have written this for new submissives that have not had any training and have never been in any BDSM relationships. If you are an experienced submissive, you should add a Training section to the below resume. List any and all training you have had. List any rules and punishments you were subjected to. You also might want to add a list of all past BDSM relationships you were in.)
- Objective - What is your long term goal? What type of relationship are you looking for? (Training, part time sub, play partner, 24/7 situation)
- Summary - This is where you can tell a little about yourself. When you became aware of your submissive side. Any relationships you are currently in. How you came to find out about the Lifestyle. How long you have known about and been interested in exploring your submissive side. What type of training you have read about and want to try.
- Qualifications - If you are new, this is where you need to be creative. List all of your life accomplishments that you think would be beneficial to a potential Dominant. You can include things such as your domestic abilities (cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc), organizational abilities (party planner, etc), if you are able to drive, or any abilities to do domestic maintenance or repairs. But remember, BE HONEST! Do not put that you can cook a 5 course French meal if you burn water.
- Education - List any and all educational classes or vocational training you have had. (College, CPR, Diving Instructor, etc)
- Hobbies - What do you like to do in your spare time? What activities keep you occupied when you are not working? What interests do you have? Again, be creative but be honest. Do not put you love nature hikes if you hate nature.
- Reading - List different genres of books you like to read or types of web sites you like to browse. Examples would be erotica, BDSM educational, Dog training, flowers magazines, etc...
- Hard Limits - This might be a hard section for you to fill in if you are new and have never looked into a Limits worksheet. I would list at least three hard limits, even if you don't know what all of your's are. Some items on your list may be Polyamoury (No sharing with other people), No edge play (using knives, breath play, needles), or waterworks/scat play (People that enjoy pee and fecal play)
- Health - List any and all health problems that you may have. You can also list any healthy activities that you do here, such as running, working out, etc.
- Organizational Associations - List any organizations that you are a member of (BDSM or non BDSM related). Make sure to put any time constraints these organizations may put on you (meetings, etc)
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A Master decrees and a slave obeys. We have all heard this saying in the BDSM community. It is one of the foundations of our lifestyle. But what exactly does it mean? What does it entail?
The perception among many newcomers to the Lifestyle, along with vanilla people, is that submissives/slaves are mindless people that have to do whatever the Dominant/Master says. They do not know or understand that only after mutual trust, respect, and limits are in place and understood, can that type of relationship begin to truly form.
In stricter M/s relationships, after a contract is signed, which normally includes limits and safe words, will a person become a slave and be trained to immediately obey whatever the Master says. In this type of environment or relationship, the slave is expected to obey every task/order without hesitating or questioning the motives behind the order. To clarify, questions are allowed in all BDSM relationships, but once the trust is built, this type of connection is much less tolerant of continuous questions. This kind of BDSM relationship is normally based in a training environment. The slave usually has little or no personal time at all. Their sole purpose is to learn how to serve a Dominant in body, mind and spirit.
In M/s relationships based on feelings, some of the above things still hold true. A slave will still be trained to please the Master and expected to obey without hesitating in most instances. If the slave does ask a question, she most likely won't punished. The Master will be less strict in some areas such as giving the slave personal time and allowing the slave more times to talk in an informal setting with him\her instead of being strictly based on high protocol all of the time. They still have rules in place that are expected to be followed as well as punishments when needed.
In still yet another type of M\s relationship, the Master is known as a Daddy Dom. This type of connection is normally a very informal and loose type of relationship. While they still have rules they want followed, they are far less rules and punishments are rarely given out unless something very wrong was done. The Dominants are usually love spoiling their slaves and the slaves are deeply devoted to making their Daddy Dom as happy as they can.
A Master Decrees. A slave obeys.
The perception among many newcomers to the Lifestyle, along with vanilla people, is that submissives/slaves are mindless people that have to do whatever the Dominant/Master says. They do not know or understand that only after mutual trust, respect, and limits are in place and understood, can that type of relationship begin to truly form.
In stricter M/s relationships, after a contract is signed, which normally includes limits and safe words, will a person become a slave and be trained to immediately obey whatever the Master says. In this type of environment or relationship, the slave is expected to obey every task/order without hesitating or questioning the motives behind the order. To clarify, questions are allowed in all BDSM relationships, but once the trust is built, this type of connection is much less tolerant of continuous questions. This kind of BDSM relationship is normally based in a training environment. The slave usually has little or no personal time at all. Their sole purpose is to learn how to serve a Dominant in body, mind and spirit.
In M/s relationships based on feelings, some of the above things still hold true. A slave will still be trained to please the Master and expected to obey without hesitating in most instances. If the slave does ask a question, she most likely won't punished. The Master will be less strict in some areas such as giving the slave personal time and allowing the slave more times to talk in an informal setting with him\her instead of being strictly based on high protocol all of the time. They still have rules in place that are expected to be followed as well as punishments when needed.
In still yet another type of M\s relationship, the Master is known as a Daddy Dom. This type of connection is normally a very informal and loose type of relationship. While they still have rules they want followed, they are far less rules and punishments are rarely given out unless something very wrong was done. The Dominants are usually love spoiling their slaves and the slaves are deeply devoted to making their Daddy Dom as happy as they can.
So, as you can see, the saying "A Master decrees. A slave obeys" is correct but there are many diverse ways it can be practiced and interpreted. If you are just starting to explore the Lifestyle, don't get locked into one way of thinking. Keep an open mind and remember that all relationships are different and they will change over time.
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A Master Decrees. A slave obeys.
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