There are many types of BDSM relationships, from one-on-one monogamous, submissive swapping, to monogamous Poly families.
Polyamory is defined as the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. The term "polyamorous" can refer to the nature of a relationship at some point in time or to a philosophy or relationship orientation (much like gender or sexual orientation). It is sometimes used as an umbrella term that covers various forms of multiple relationships; polyamorous arrangements are varied, reflecting the choices and philosophies of the individuals involved. Polyamory is a less specific term than polygamy, the practice or condition of having more than one spouse.
Polyamorous relationships take many forms and can include many different levels of intimacy. In some relationships, a couple will have a single dedicated partner with whom they share a series of affairs. Another person may be actively “single” while participating occasionally or often in the committed relationships of others. A couple may be committed to each other and to a third… or to another couple. One person who is part of a couple may be dedicated to another person who is also in a committed relationship, without the involvement their significant others. The possibilities are limited only by the needs and desires of the parties involved.
Polyamory is not something you involve yourself in because it will please your dominant. You have to desire to be in a relationship with more than one person and more than one gender. It has to come from inside you and you have to ensure that when you involve yourself with a dominant that has candidly stated that he wants more than one submissive or slave, or get involved with a couple, that you are very sure of yourself and not at all prone to jealousy.
The roles have to be clearly defined and there must be complete honesty in everything that happens. Everyone must be able to share their feelings and thoughts as they happen and prevent any bad feelings from simmering and damaging the dynamic. A submissive in a relationship with a dominant and multiple other submissives should know that all of the submissives are important and that in the end it is a privilege to serve a dominant who provides for everyone. The moment jealousy and entitlement interferes, the groups tend to break up, even when all involved cared about each other. Submission in a polyamorous situation takes even more strength than submission to one does.
If you are thinking about involving playmates or bringing on a permanent new equal as a 3rd, you have to have ground rules that all will agree to and follow. This is very important to make sure that everyone feels equal and included in all dynamics of the relationship. Open and Honest communication between all parties is a must. There can be no secrets. If you are feeling any type of negative feelings, you should tell your Dominant first and then the partner with whom you have the negative feelings as soon as possible. If you don't, it will just fester and grow until a big blow up occurs.
Be careful in picking the potential playmate/new addition. Remember, there are people out there that are very deceptive and will pretend to be one way, until they get into the relationship, then slowly try to push you apart from your Dominant. Before inviting anyone to join you, make sure you and your Dominant have deep talks about the new person and lay all of your feelings, wants, needs, desires and expectations on the table. Make sure you are very sure and have given a lot of time into getting to know the new person before allowing them closer into your family.
Overall, a poly family can be a very loving, very fulling experience, as long as all parties stay honest and open with their feelings.
Share this post - support us:
The following is an excerpt from my new book coming out soon called Unveiled: The Secret Submissive Within. I hope you enjoy.
In BDSM, a contract is an agreement, usually written, between the Dominant and submissive in a 24/7 relationship, but also in between those that are in training only or have regular play dates. It is the formal act of consent to the power exchange. Some are very formal and will detail exactly what is expected and can run for multiple pages. Others are as brief as a single paragraph. Either way, one is derived by negotiation on the part of both parties. BDSM couples consider the contract to hold equal moral authority to a marriage commitment. As such, constructing a proper contract is very much like writing a pre-nuptial agreement.
Here are some things you need to know before signing such a contract:
A slave contract is a non-legal document.
Although the contract is meaningful to the Dominant and his submissive, such a contract is not legally binding due to the fact that it is actually illegal to own another person and most slave contracts mention the word ownership in describing the relationship.
A slave contract is drawn up by the Dominant and presented to his submissive to sign.
Length of commitment varies.
Slave contracts vary in regard to the length of commitment pledged. Whereas some Dominants may require a submissive to sign a lifetime agreement, other Dominants may ask for a 6 month or a year- long commitment. At the end of that time period, the submissive will have the choice to sign a renewal contract or to opt out of the relationship.
A slave contract signifies ownership.
Although the contract is not legally binding, it signifies a degree of ownership. Sometimes the ownership may be limited to sexual ownership. Sometimes it may mean complete ownership. This will depend on the couple and their preferences. It is very binding within the confines of the relationship and should not be entered into lightly.
Things to include in a slave contract.
A slave contract will include things such as expectations, goals, rewards, punishments, protocols, rituals, and grounds for termination of the contract. Be sure and review the contract carefully, for what is in it will indicate the course of your relationship. Just as a couple who enters into marriage, you must have similar goals and expectations in regard to the relationship. Signing the contract means that you are agreeing to everything in it.
Don't be afraid to ask questions.
It is important to feel free to ask questions of one another before signing the contract. Submissives need to voice any fears or hesitations to the Dominant, and he needs to be open enough to listen to those fears and hesitations. If he is not open to hearing them, this should be the submissive's first clue to run in the opposite direction. It is also important for a Dominant to voice any concerns he may have to his submissive. If he senses any doubt or hesitation, it is important for him to ask her about it, encouraging her to be open and honest with him.
Do not rush into signing a contract.
Here are some things you need to know before signing such a contract:
A slave contract is a non-legal document.
Although the contract is meaningful to the Dominant and his submissive, such a contract is not legally binding due to the fact that it is actually illegal to own another person and most slave contracts mention the word ownership in describing the relationship.
A slave contract is drawn up by the Dominant and presented to his submissive to sign.
Sometimes a Dominant will allow his submissive to read the contract ahead of time and ask if she has any input or something she would like to include in the contract. If she does and the Dominant agrees, he will likely add it into the contract.
Length of commitment varies.
Slave contracts vary in regard to the length of commitment pledged. Whereas some Dominants may require a submissive to sign a lifetime agreement, other Dominants may ask for a 6 month or a year- long commitment. At the end of that time period, the submissive will have the choice to sign a renewal contract or to opt out of the relationship.
A slave contract signifies ownership.
Although the contract is not legally binding, it signifies a degree of ownership. Sometimes the ownership may be limited to sexual ownership. Sometimes it may mean complete ownership. This will depend on the couple and their preferences. It is very binding within the confines of the relationship and should not be entered into lightly.
Things to include in a slave contract.
A slave contract will include things such as expectations, goals, rewards, punishments, protocols, rituals, and grounds for termination of the contract. Be sure and review the contract carefully, for what is in it will indicate the course of your relationship. Just as a couple who enters into marriage, you must have similar goals and expectations in regard to the relationship. Signing the contract means that you are agreeing to everything in it.
Don't be afraid to ask questions.
It is important to feel free to ask questions of one another before signing the contract. Submissives need to voice any fears or hesitations to the Dominant, and he needs to be open enough to listen to those fears and hesitations. If he is not open to hearing them, this should be the submissive's first clue to run in the opposite direction. It is also important for a Dominant to voice any concerns he may have to his submissive. If he senses any doubt or hesitation, it is important for him to ask her about it, encouraging her to be open and honest with him.
Do not rush into signing a contract.
A contract is not meant to be an agreement between casual play partners. It is meant to signify a willingness to commit to the relationship for a certain amount of time. Take your time in getting to know one another before making the decision to make such a commitment.
Share this post - support us:
