Michelle Fegatofi
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I have been posting many different types of pictures lately on my FB page and some people do not think they are BDSM related.
My thoughts apparently are very different and have a much broader range on what the large umbrella of BDSM can encompass. Let me try to explain what I mean.
At the core of BDSM is Bondage, Discipline, Dominance/submission, and Sadomasochism. When I show pictures of kneeling submissives, women or men in bondage, or being disciplined, there are never any doubts that they are BDSM related.
Now, let's think outside that very narrow box to a broader range that BDSM can envelop. See, to me, it's not just about the core principles. I see BDSM encompassing how they thinks, how a person moves, what they wear, how they speak, how they might perceive the world, what they eat, how they act around people and so forth. My goal in showing different kinds of pictures is to hopefully broaden your knowledge, but also expand your mind to think of the endless possibilities.
When you see curvy models in sexy poses or in lingerie, I am posting them for two reasons. The first being to help women with the same body types see they are beautiful and to hopefully boost their confidence. A more confident submissive is sexier than a little mouse of one. I also see the lingerie pics as doubling for possible sub/slave uniforms. Many submissives have rules or guidelines that they have to wear certain sexy clothing in certain situations.
When you go to play parties or to dungeons, no matter what part of the world they are in, they normally have strict dress codes for what both the Dominant and submissives have to wear. This can range from leather, lace, latex, or rubber. And in some cases, nothing but a collar and slave cuffs. It all depends on what the club allows.
I have heard arguments that fetishes are separate from the realm of BDSM. Well, in my mind they are not. They are a part of the huge, vast umbrella: a subsection if you will. Here are some examples. Female Dominants usually are pictured wearing some type of leather or latex outfits. It helps not only set the scene, but to also get them in the right frame of mind to perform that scene. If you saw them in sweats, you have to admit that you would totally not be interested or in the mind frame of BDSM play. Therefore, the choice of clothing in this case falls not only into fetish wear (because a lot of people have a fetish to see women dressed as such) but also in the category of BDSM wear because without that type of outfit, the Domme would not look the part of Domme.
Now you may be asking, what do the old pin-up drawings from the 50s & 60s that I post from time to time have to do with BDSM. The answer is mostly nothing. They are just sexy and I like them, along with a lot of other people.
Just because we are dedicated to BDSM education and knowledge does not mean I will not post things from time to time that are not exactly under that umbrella. It usually will be something that is sexy or fall under the fetish category.
So, now I have explained why I post what I post and see most of what I post as BDSM related, I hope I have opened your mind to thinking of BDSM in a broader sense versus just the core principles just as my mind was opened and my thinking is now outside the box.
My thoughts apparently are very different and have a much broader range on what the large umbrella of BDSM can encompass. Let me try to explain what I mean.
At the core of BDSM is Bondage, Discipline, Dominance/submission, and Sadomasochism. When I show pictures of kneeling submissives, women or men in bondage, or being disciplined, there are never any doubts that they are BDSM related.
Now, let's think outside that very narrow box to a broader range that BDSM can envelop. See, to me, it's not just about the core principles. I see BDSM encompassing how they thinks, how a person moves, what they wear, how they speak, how they might perceive the world, what they eat, how they act around people and so forth. My goal in showing different kinds of pictures is to hopefully broaden your knowledge, but also expand your mind to think of the endless possibilities.
 |
| Slave Clothing |
 |
| Movement/Dance |
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| Service/Eating |
When you see curvy models in sexy poses or in lingerie, I am posting them for two reasons. The first being to help women with the same body types see they are beautiful and to hopefully boost their confidence. A more confident submissive is sexier than a little mouse of one. I also see the lingerie pics as doubling for possible sub/slave uniforms. Many submissives have rules or guidelines that they have to wear certain sexy clothing in certain situations.
When you go to play parties or to dungeons, no matter what part of the world they are in, they normally have strict dress codes for what both the Dominant and submissives have to wear. This can range from leather, lace, latex, or rubber. And in some cases, nothing but a collar and slave cuffs. It all depends on what the club allows.
I have heard arguments that fetishes are separate from the realm of BDSM. Well, in my mind they are not. They are a part of the huge, vast umbrella: a subsection if you will. Here are some examples. Female Dominants usually are pictured wearing some type of leather or latex outfits. It helps not only set the scene, but to also get them in the right frame of mind to perform that scene. If you saw them in sweats, you have to admit that you would totally not be interested or in the mind frame of BDSM play. Therefore, the choice of clothing in this case falls not only into fetish wear (because a lot of people have a fetish to see women dressed as such) but also in the category of BDSM wear because without that type of outfit, the Domme would not look the part of Domme.
Now you may be asking, what do the old pin-up drawings from the 50s & 60s that I post from time to time have to do with BDSM. The answer is mostly nothing. They are just sexy and I like them, along with a lot of other people.
Just because we are dedicated to BDSM education and knowledge does not mean I will not post things from time to time that are not exactly under that umbrella. It usually will be something that is sexy or fall under the fetish category.
So, now I have explained why I post what I post and see most of what I post as BDSM related, I hope I have opened your mind to thinking of BDSM in a broader sense versus just the core principles just as my mind was opened and my thinking is now outside the box.
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Spanking, whether it’s done with a toy or by hand, is something that a lot of people enjoy for many different reasons.
Spanking can feel great. The thrill of doing something naughty can be fun. It might be part of a role play or S&M scene.
It can be a long wait for that first spanking. Many submissives are over 30 before they get the courage to act out fantasies they have had since childhood. The reality of spanking can be a bit of a surprise. Firstly, it's every bit as fun as you have been led to believe. Submission is mind-blowingly liberating. Secondly, you may end up looking rather different from the pink-cheeked and politely striped girls on the commercial websites.
Spanking is first a dichotomy of power. It is this transfer of power, this total surrender that is the hallmark of spanking. Within that concept, there are many levels of submission, and corresponding degrees of physicality. Within the spanking scene, there are two general types of spanking, and several types of spanking relationships to encapsulate them. These two main categories still provide a lot of room for subtle nuances. These main categories are Sensual/Erotic and Disciplinary/Domestic Discipline.
If you are not already in a defined BDSM role and relationship, talk with your partner about what excites them about spanking. If you want to try something naughty, then engaging in role play may give you extra context for that naughtiness. If you’re curious about the sensation, then a role might be irrelevant, plus you might want to be in a position that allows the maximum comfort. You’re much more likely to get what you want when you can talk with your partner about it.
'Safe, sane and consensual' goes without saying. Constant communication is necessary and so is absolute trust. If you have fragile skin, there is lot more to it that establishing a safe-word, because the sub's tolerance might bear little relation to the marks inflicted. She can't see what's going on behind her, and in any case, if she gets into sub-space, she's not in a place to make sensible decisions of any sort. So there is an extra burden of care on the Dom.
Just before a spanking happens, the Dominant will generally position the submissive in one of several traditional and well known spanking positions. I won’t get into those positions today because there are simply too many.
The Dominant is normally in a higher position than the submissive so they can restrain and control the submissive when she moves. The control also heightens the satisfaction of a top in a scene like this. The Dominant can apply more strength in the traditional positions. When sitting with a submissive over the lap, the Dominant can swing their arms naturally and apply force on all those spots they plan to hit. When they are standing, he or she can swing their arms and body to get even more power out of the stroke. Of course, it is a matter of comfort as well, since it makes sense that the naughty girl or boy receiving the spanking should be less comfortable than the Dominant. Comfort also contributes to the length of a spanking and that is of course a benefit for the sub too.
The position of the submissive’s butt is very tantalizing in most traditional postures. It makes the activity so much more erotic for the Dominant and helps to ensure accuracy in the spanking. There is nothing quite as appealing as the derriere stretched at an angle ready for that spanking. Safety is also a factor to discuss here. The Dominant is more able to ensure that he or she will not hit too high or too low and the submissive will not be harmed.
If you’re new to spanking, it’s a good idea to focus your attention on the butt only. There’s a lot you can do on the butt cheeks and the body is usually pretty well-padded there, so you don’t need to worry about causing damage. Plus, when you spank someone’s butt, you can indirectly stimulate their genitals, especially if they’re in a position that allows them to rub against your leg or a piece of furniture. Be careful to avoid hitting the tailbone and never hit on the kidneys.
Many people find that the sensation of spanking varies along a continuum of sting-thud. Stingy sensations tend to be on the surface of the skin, while thudding sensations feel deeper. Different toys and hand positions create different sensations, so you may need to experiment a bit. Also, some people have strong preferences for one style and feel over the other, while some like both kind of sensation.
You may find that as you get turned on, things start to feel different. Sexual arousal increases our ability to feel strong sensations, so it’s a good idea to start off lightly and ramp up. Combining or alternating spanking with other types of stimulation can be a fun way to increase the pleasure. Or you might want to get turned on before you start spanking. Lots of people like to switch from spanking to gentle caresses or the feeling of a fur or fleece glove. Play around with it and you’ll discover what feels good to you.
Newbie Dominants remember that you can make the spanking even more erotic by varying touches and rhythm, by caressing me and then spanking me you can get me to new heights of pleasure. Your control could be magnified by a little bit of humiliating speak too. Also, reminding your sub to return to position and to maintain that position often helps keep them in line and even more excited.
Spanking can feel great. The thrill of doing something naughty can be fun. It might be part of a role play or S&M scene.
It can be a long wait for that first spanking. Many submissives are over 30 before they get the courage to act out fantasies they have had since childhood. The reality of spanking can be a bit of a surprise. Firstly, it's every bit as fun as you have been led to believe. Submission is mind-blowingly liberating. Secondly, you may end up looking rather different from the pink-cheeked and politely striped girls on the commercial websites.
Spanking is first a dichotomy of power. It is this transfer of power, this total surrender that is the hallmark of spanking. Within that concept, there are many levels of submission, and corresponding degrees of physicality. Within the spanking scene, there are two general types of spanking, and several types of spanking relationships to encapsulate them. These two main categories still provide a lot of room for subtle nuances. These main categories are Sensual/Erotic and Disciplinary/Domestic Discipline.
If you are not already in a defined BDSM role and relationship, talk with your partner about what excites them about spanking. If you want to try something naughty, then engaging in role play may give you extra context for that naughtiness. If you’re curious about the sensation, then a role might be irrelevant, plus you might want to be in a position that allows the maximum comfort. You’re much more likely to get what you want when you can talk with your partner about it.
'Safe, sane and consensual' goes without saying. Constant communication is necessary and so is absolute trust. If you have fragile skin, there is lot more to it that establishing a safe-word, because the sub's tolerance might bear little relation to the marks inflicted. She can't see what's going on behind her, and in any case, if she gets into sub-space, she's not in a place to make sensible decisions of any sort. So there is an extra burden of care on the Dom.
Just before a spanking happens, the Dominant will generally position the submissive in one of several traditional and well known spanking positions. I won’t get into those positions today because there are simply too many.
The Dominant is normally in a higher position than the submissive so they can restrain and control the submissive when she moves. The control also heightens the satisfaction of a top in a scene like this. The Dominant can apply more strength in the traditional positions. When sitting with a submissive over the lap, the Dominant can swing their arms naturally and apply force on all those spots they plan to hit. When they are standing, he or she can swing their arms and body to get even more power out of the stroke. Of course, it is a matter of comfort as well, since it makes sense that the naughty girl or boy receiving the spanking should be less comfortable than the Dominant. Comfort also contributes to the length of a spanking and that is of course a benefit for the sub too.
The position of the submissive’s butt is very tantalizing in most traditional postures. It makes the activity so much more erotic for the Dominant and helps to ensure accuracy in the spanking. There is nothing quite as appealing as the derriere stretched at an angle ready for that spanking. Safety is also a factor to discuss here. The Dominant is more able to ensure that he or she will not hit too high or too low and the submissive will not be harmed.
If you’re new to spanking, it’s a good idea to focus your attention on the butt only. There’s a lot you can do on the butt cheeks and the body is usually pretty well-padded there, so you don’t need to worry about causing damage. Plus, when you spank someone’s butt, you can indirectly stimulate their genitals, especially if they’re in a position that allows them to rub against your leg or a piece of furniture. Be careful to avoid hitting the tailbone and never hit on the kidneys.
Many people find that the sensation of spanking varies along a continuum of sting-thud. Stingy sensations tend to be on the surface of the skin, while thudding sensations feel deeper. Different toys and hand positions create different sensations, so you may need to experiment a bit. Also, some people have strong preferences for one style and feel over the other, while some like both kind of sensation.
You may find that as you get turned on, things start to feel different. Sexual arousal increases our ability to feel strong sensations, so it’s a good idea to start off lightly and ramp up. Combining or alternating spanking with other types of stimulation can be a fun way to increase the pleasure. Or you might want to get turned on before you start spanking. Lots of people like to switch from spanking to gentle caresses or the feeling of a fur or fleece glove. Play around with it and you’ll discover what feels good to you.
Newbie Dominants remember that you can make the spanking even more erotic by varying touches and rhythm, by caressing me and then spanking me you can get me to new heights of pleasure. Your control could be magnified by a little bit of humiliating speak too. Also, reminding your sub to return to position and to maintain that position often helps keep them in line and even more excited.
Share this post - support us:
