Michelle Fegatofi

This week, the USA will be celebrating Thanksgiving.

Families will gather together, eat some great food and just enjoy being together. Not everyone can be with their loved ones and some don't have anyone, so I hope this post helps those that are alone or far from families realize that there is still so much to be thankful for.

I live in Italy and am extremely fortunate to have a wonderful and understanding Padrone that helps me celebrate American holidays. My family are scattered all across the USA and I won't be with them this year, but they are all in my heart and thoughts.

There are always many things to be thankful for, even during hard, lonely, or dark times. Here are things I am thankful for every day.

• Friendships - Having friends that you can talk to, online or real life, is always important to have. Make sure you tell them all how glad you are they in your life.
• Health - this year there have been as many, if not more, bad days. I'm thankful for all the good ones as well as the medicines and doctors that are helping me to get better. I'm thankful for every day I wake up ready to greet whatever the day has in store for me.
• My Padrone - he is always patient and understanding. He is loving, encouraging, protective and guiding. Even though we both identify me as his BDSM slave, he allows me freedom to be creative and pursue my passions of writing and helping people. His quirky sense of humor and serious side is the perfect balance for my own personality. 

• Family - even though they are all thousands of miles away, I'm extremely thankful they are all happy and healthy.
• Fans and Followers - I'm so thankful for my readers. You're encouragement, comments and questions keep me thinking and motivated to continue to help others in any ways I can.  
• Basic Needs - Housing, food and clothing fall under this category. So many people these days are always thinking of what they want and not what they have. I am so thankful that all of our basic needs are met and grateful for any extras we have. 
• Pets - or as I like to call them, fur and feather babies! Though they can be a pain and annoying at times, pets love you unconditionally and can fill you and your heart full of love. They can also take away loneliness for those that are alone.

I  hope my own list of things to be thankful for have helped you realize that there are always things in your own life to be thankful for. May you all make your own list!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my fellow Americans! And wishing the rest of the world love, peace, and harmony!

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Michelle Fegatofi

The subject of sexual fetishism is one of those taboos that is, well, not all that taboo. In the right atmosphere, people barely hesitate to share what "really turns them on," and you'd be hard-pressed to find a women's magazine that hasn't delved into the subject of fantasies, sex toys and stuff-he-won't-tell-you-he-wants.

Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation. The object or situation of interest is called the fetish. A sexual fetish may be regarded as an enhancing element to a romantic/sexual relationship "achieved in ordinary ways (e.g. having the partner wear a particular garment)".

What are the five most common sexual fetishes today? 

• Body piercings
• Hair
• Leather (masks, clothing, etc)
• Stiletto heels (the closer to erotic dancer versions the better)
• Feet

Bizarre Historical Fetishes

Fetishes have been around for centuries, probably even longer than recorded history. Yet, many people don't have a clue to some of the more bizarre ones that were popular in centuries past.

• Tentacle Rape - Late 18th Century - The modern tentacle rape genre was created by Toshio Maeda, whose manga Urotsukidoji "created what might be called the modern paradigm of tentacle porn," which we suppose in Japan is actually seen as an accomplishment rather than grounds for a sexual assault conviction. According to Maeda, he started the practice in order to get around Japan's strict censorship laws, which forbade the depiction of a penis but did not forbid penetration by anything else. While Maeda may have created the modern tentacle rape, he wasn't the inventor--not even close. Maeda was preceded by Katsushika Hokusai, an artist from the late 18th and early 19th century. Hokusai was the artist of the "Thirty-Six Views of Mount Fuji," an internationally recognized series of prints that earned him fame both locally and globally. Hokusai's "The Dream Of The Fisherman's Wife" is speculated to be the first instance of tentacle erotica, so by all means don't click that link if you're at work, there are children present or you have a soul.
• Autoerotic Asphyxiation - 17th Century - Experts say that on the list of most frequent causes of embarrassing deaths, autoerotic asphyxiation ranks just below tequila and above backyard wrestling. While the term "sex accident" may sound awesome--like a high speed collision with a tractor trailer made of nudity--the reality of it is hotel staff discovering your body strangled to death and clutching your genitals in a kung fu grip. According to ABC News, roughly 500 to 1000 young men accidentally die each year during autoerotic asphyxiation. Erotic asphyxiation goes back to the 1600s, when it was used as a treatment for erectile dysfunction, presumably because the patient in question would rather be dead than go on living.
• Foot Fetishism - 13th Century (or Earlier) - Put simply, the foot fetish is a sexual attraction to feet, be they wrapped up in stockings or bare. Foot fetishism has many forms, and can range from simple kissing and licking to full on penis massages. The first mention of foot fetishism we can find dates back to 1220 AD. Experts think the fetish got its start due to fear of STDs (history records show a lot more foot lovers during syphilis epidemics, like those of the 16th and 19th centuries). Keep in mind that back then, pretty much everything in the world gave you some version of the plague, let alone the festering bog of some peasant's vagina. 
• Necrophilia - Fifth Century BC - This is having sex with dead bodies. Psychologists have theorized that there are a number of reasons why someone would be attracted to corpses, chief among them being the desire for a lifeless and unresistant partner (well, duh). But apparently the whole craze started the same way so many things start - with mummies. Herodotus (the Greek historian who lived in the fifth century BC) wrote in his Histories that, in order to stop people from having sex with corpses before mummification, the ancient Egyptians left them to decay for three or four days before handing them off to the embalmers. That's right: Necrophilia was such a problem for these guys that they had to take active preventative measures against it.
• Sadomasochism - 470 BC - Sadomasochism involves two consenting partners engaging in a style of sexual roleplay characterized by domination and submission. One partner, the dominant, inflicts pain, while the other partner, the submissive, receives it. S & M covers a wide range of activities, from simple verbal abuse and light spanking to full-blown flogging and humiliation. So if de Sade wasn't the father of sadomasochism, who was? Tarquinia's Tomb of the Floggings contains some of the earliest erotic artwork known to man, and they're almost 2,500 years old (dating around 470 BC). In addition to numerous depictions of orgies and guy-on-guy butt-tastic sex, we have a scene of what is clearly two dudes filling out one woman while whipping her back.

So the next time you are thinking about your own fetishes, hopefully you will wonder about its origins. 

Look for more Fetish related posts in the future because this is an endless subject! 

Leave any comments or interesting facts below! We love hearing from you!

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Michelle Fegatofi

Think about when you are happiest.
Is it when you are in submissive situations? Serving your Dominant? Do you get grumpy or feel out of sorts when life or other outside forces disturb your well established, submissive routines? What happens if many things hit you all at once and totally screw up the nice little world you and your Dominant have worked so hard to establish and maintain?

As many of you know, if you read me on a pretty regular basis, I am pretty much a happy person all the time. Yes, of course I have days or times I am not as happy as others, but as a whole I do see a world full of rainbows. The main reason is due to the wonderful, happy bubble my Padrone Marco Fegatofi keeps me in all the time. He knows that I am most happy when I am serving him, following his instructions, working on our internet pages, etc. He always tries to keep any negativity, stress, drama, and other bad things away from me and deals with them by himself. He has done an extremely good job over the past two years we have lived together.

But every now and then, my happy bubble gets a leak! In the course of a week, too many negatives hit me all at once. So, now that a couple of weeks have passed, I have to look into my inner self and try to re-balance my inner submissive and reestablish my happy bubble.

First, to make it clear, my submissiveness to Padrone has never waned. My inner happy balance has taken several hits though. I don't deal with stress well and if bad news comes in different ways all at once, well, I have seizures. That's my body's way of dealing with it because of my epilepsy. Now that the worst of the negative things have passed, how do I get my happy bubble back and sealed once again?

• I remind myself of how lucky I am to be with the man and Master of my dreams. 
• I remind myself that the negatives are past so now it is time to forget them and move on. 
• I asked Padrone for more attention and snuggle time. That always helps me come back into balance whenever it gets out of whack. 
• I write about my experience in hopes that it will help others that may go through similar hard times. Writing and helping others always make me feel good. 

Now, if you have something that happens in your own life that disrupts your wonderful little submissive world, what can you do to help yourself?

• First, make sure your connection with your Dominant is solid and lean on him/her. 
• Second, do more of the things that make you happy (Submissive tasks, writing, cooking, family time, Dominant attention time, etc). Make sure whatever it is that makes your world a happy place normally, is being done on a daily basis if you can. 
• Third, take time every day to remind yourself of what you have to be grateful for and happy about. 
• Forth, try to let the negative feelings go. This is the hardest thing for me. But after bad events are over and done with, it does your body and mind no good to dwell on them. Look to the future. 
• Fifth, think of your happy place! My personal happy place is when I am in Padrone's arms. That is my shelter and when I feel the best. Is yours when you are on your knees beside your Dominant? Buried under a special blanket? Whatever it is, always keep that image and the awesome feelings close to your heart and in your head so you can think of it when you are down or sad. 

I don't know if these techniques will help you reestablish your own happy balance, but I hope they help. 

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Michelle Fegatofi

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Michelle Fegatofi

The Purest Commitment

by Michelle Fegatofi

The Love of a Master can not be compared to anything else in this Life,

For a Master's Love is unbreakable through all manner of woes, illness and strife.

As people in your life come and go, even family drifts away,

A submissive always knows her Master is there to stay.

A bond so deep and pure, that it sets your heart to leaping,

A Love so very strong, simply witnessing it will have you weeping.

Our rituals and ways seem brutal and foreign to many across the land,

But nothing compares to the feelings of being taken in hand.

As Master commands, we serve with pride in any way His will may be,

For the love we share and the trust we feel, allows us to serve freely and proudly on bended knee.

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Michelle Fegatofi

So, many of you have been very curious about my experiences as a real life 24/7 slave.

I am pretty open to who and what I am and believe. I always share my own experiences when I think they will help others. So, today's post is about me. I hate talking about myself but, with the amount of questions I have gotten, here goes!

I won't go into my past much, because I see the past as the past, and it is better left right were it is. Of course, it helped shape me into the person I am today, but the person I am today is so much different than I was 2 years ago.

I was at a point in my life where I was completely unhappy, with my work, my relationships, everything. I hated it. I was not in an environment that allowed me to be myself, the true me. I think I had lost the true me, my core self, many years before, because I had to hide who I was from everyone for so long.

I decided to get back in touch with my BDSM submissive roots. I had been trained for 2 1/2 years as a Gorean kajira, starting at the age of 19. Life intervened and I lost touch with BDSM and submission for many years.

I started reading and getting back into the scene via the internet around 1998. There wasn't much of a presence on the net as there is now, but it was there. I participated in many forums and advice columns as well as mentoring new people that had no clue where to start their own journey. Just as I was finding myself again, life intervened and my BDSM activities were put on hold. Over the next several years, career, kids, cancer and epilepsy, as well as the other normal trappings of life kept me away from the scene. I was lost once again.

I decided about 5 years ago that I could not continue living in that box society had forced me into. I had to break free of the shell I was being forced to live in. I felt like a walking zombie in much of my normal day to day life. I was only going through the motions of living, but not enjoying life. There is a HUGE difference from being alive and living your life.

My heart stopped beating on two occasions and I actually was dead, but was brought back. This was due to epilepsy and other circumstances. I also dealt with cancer and won. All of these things happening to me in a relatively short period of time was a HUGE wake up call. I had to get my life back on track and find my way back to being happy. I knew that BDSM, being a submissive, serving a Master that would allow me to be myself was the only way that I could be me and be happy. But, I was in a bad marriage and had two kids. How could I possibly participate in BDSM?

I found cyber BDSM again. I started devouring everything I could read on the scene, remembering my training and the feelings it brought me, of peace and comfort and joy. I started interacting with others in the same boat as myself and together, we helped each other relearn and regain our submissive sides. They had actually never been lost, just put away and forgotten, until we had a chance to bring them out again. I started participating in real life activities again, not sexual, but just around the scene to regain my sense of the Lifestyle.

So, after a while, I met a wonderful, smart, funny man that happened to live half a world away. He had so much wonderful advice and was so caring. He was never overbearing and you could tell, just by speaking to him, he was a natural Dominant. I talked to him and got to know him for several months before becoming his cyber slave in April of 2011.

During my time as his cyber slave, he had many rules that I had to follow. He was very flexible though and understanding because he knew I had to maintain a balance between my real life duties as well as my cyber activities. And sometimes balancing them is very hard. So over the months, we video and phone chatted, IM'd and emailed. I had as much contact with him as I could. I could never get enough. He was the one person that I felt I could just be myself. I instinctively knew I could tell him anything and he would not judge me. I completely opened up and told him about my entire life, past, present and future, wants, needs desires, hurts, dreams... Everything.

Well, in August of 2011, he flew to the USA and I returned with him to Italy, where I have been and remain very happily his 24/7 slave.

I have grown so much in the past 1 1/2 years. I have learned to be myself again. With all of the structure, rules, and guidance that Padrone had built into our ever evolving relationship, I have never felt more safe, loved, protected, cared for, or happy in my life. We have a completely open and honest, two way communication that is the very foundation of our BDSM life. We practice more the M/s part of BDSM than the S&M, but it does govern every part of our lives. I always wear my collar, everywhere I go, with or without Him. I always follow the rules he has given me, and I know the type of answer he would give in situations that might come up in which I need to make a decision.

The form my slavery takes is perhaps different from what many of you think about BDSM slavery. I have many rules, about what I can or can't wear, who I can talk to, when and where I am allowed to go, when to check in when I am out, how long I can be out of the house, and many many more. But, he has given me rules that he knows that make me feel good, happy and safe. He knows without any doubts that I will follow them always. He also knows that if I do slip up and forget something, like to make coffee for him before he wakes up, there is always a reason.

He doesn't punish me for mistakes I make, because they are usually not intentional and are related to side effects from the epilepsy. When would he punish me? I would say he would punish me harshly if I ever do something deliberately, like speak to people on purpose that I'm not supposed to, or start drama, or break some other rule on purpose he has put in place.

Many of you will be thinking at this point that without punishment or correction, that I can't learn from my mistakes. But I do. See, he does correct me. But it's in the form of actual correction and guidance. When I make a mistake, he will show me how to do it correctly. If I make mistakes because my epilepsy is acting up, then he will stand right beside me and tell me step by step how to do whatever the task is that I need to do. This type of correction, for me, reassures me that I am not stupid, but also helps me feel even more loved and protected and accepted by Padrone.

With this kind of Dominating or Mastering, I have grown back into the person I always wanted to be. I have gotten more in touch with myself deeply and know me very well. I don't hide anything from anyone anymore because I feel safe to be me and with Padrone as my Master and life partner, I feel safe to be me.

He has encouraged me to take up writing again because he knows it's a passion of mine. He also knows how much I enjoy helping others in anyway I can, so that's why I started my blogs.

I hope this answers many of your questions and helps you understand a little more about me and my background, as well as the way Padrone and I choose to practice a BDSM lifestyle.

Remember, there really is no right or wrong, and no handbook to BDSM. It's all a matter of consensual, knowledgeable decisions and the way you and your partner interpret BDSM.

Have fun, read, explore and stay safe!

Michelle Fegatofi

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