Michelle Fegatofi
Aging is a natural process that every human, no matter their lifestyle choice, goes through.
With age comes life experience, but also health issues, hormone changes, and most likely a decreased sex drive. Can you still practice a BDSM lifestyle as you grow older? That answer is yes. You just have to be imaginative and flexible.
As we age, our bodies naturally begin go slow down and change. The affects of aging are different for everyone, of course. If you had sex three times a day at 40, you might only have it once a day at 50 and once a week at 60. It all depends on your own body, health, hormones, and sex drive.
With age comes life experience, but also health issues, hormone changes, and most likely a decreased sex drive. Can you still practice a BDSM lifestyle as you grow older? That answer is yes. You just have to be imaginative and flexible.
As we age, our bodies naturally begin go slow down and change. The affects of aging are different for everyone, of course. If you had sex three times a day at 40, you might only have it once a day at 50 and once a week at 60. It all depends on your own body, health, hormones, and sex drive.
According to a study by the University of Chicago, more than three-quarters of American men and half of women aged 75 to 85 are still interested in sex. But culturally, we don’t see this. Dr. Queen has two theories. “There had been an underlying bias in our culture that sex really is, at bottom, for reproduction. That’s one of the things that continues to power homophobia too. After one is out of one’s reproductive years, the notion of sex becomes unseemly and even unacceptable to many. The other thing, I think, is that there is societal pressure on us to fear aging, and seeing evidence of older people’s sexuality brings up our difficult feelings about getting older, our own body image fears, fears of mortality.”
Aging is different in BDSM Relationships because our sexual play often includes implements which can, if incorrectly or badly used, injure one or both parties. As we age along with our partners in a BDSM Relationship, each of us may have to deal with a disability, or, as I prefer to call them, different abilities.
According to sexologist, Dr. Carol Queen, there are precautions that come with age. “Some sorts of BDSM are the erotic version of high-impact sports, a person of any age must take their health and body resilience into account” she explains “Some things to pay attention to with an older partner, is whether the skin is thinning and how their joints are doing. They’ll want to make sure they can communicate about health issues to partners.”
Hearing Loss
You probably would rather not have a Dominant flicking a single tail whip if he can't see well, but there are other play techniques that can be just as exciting, and much safer! A suggestion is to set up the scene very carefully and to do only BDSM play that is more body-to-body contact, such as over the knee (OTK) spanking with his hand or an implement such as a paddle with a short, manageable handle. This precludes the danger of a whip or other implement striking an area that could cause the bottom (receiver) injury or damage. Aging in a BDSM Relationship can help you be creative about working out the 'kinks' - be creative with your partner.
Muscle and Joint Pain and Flexibility
Strategically placed pillows are wonderful for achy knees. Changing position often helps keep muscles from freezing into painful, uncomfortable, rock-hard blobs. One of the most wonderful things about being with a partner for a long time, and knowing each other, is communication skills are often developed along the way. Tell your partner, "Uh, this is so not working for me!" and work together to find what does work. The truth is, many of us are happily aging in our BDSM relationships, with our aging partners, and as happily aging women or men, we have aches and pains, and, most of us can't bend in those low scraping bows, with even a modicum of grace anymore.
Aging is different in BDSM Relationships because our sexual play often includes implements which can, if incorrectly or badly used, injure one or both parties. As we age along with our partners in a BDSM Relationship, each of us may have to deal with a disability, or, as I prefer to call them, different abilities.
According to sexologist, Dr. Carol Queen, there are precautions that come with age. “Some sorts of BDSM are the erotic version of high-impact sports, a person of any age must take their health and body resilience into account” she explains “Some things to pay attention to with an older partner, is whether the skin is thinning and how their joints are doing. They’ll want to make sure they can communicate about health issues to partners.”
Hearing Loss
For some people, a crowded and noisy club, where quite often loud music and other kinky players make for difficult conversation anyway, make it very difficult to hear. This is the perfect place to practice non-verbal communication. Talk with her before the scene begins, to set up hand signals or other methods of letting you know that she wants to end the session, or that she needs to run to the bathroom. This will help you ensure you and your partner are on the same level and that there are less chances of something going wrong.
Eyesight Loss
You probably would rather not have a Dominant flicking a single tail whip if he can't see well, but there are other play techniques that can be just as exciting, and much safer! A suggestion is to set up the scene very carefully and to do only BDSM play that is more body-to-body contact, such as over the knee (OTK) spanking with his hand or an implement such as a paddle with a short, manageable handle. This precludes the danger of a whip or other implement striking an area that could cause the bottom (receiver) injury or damage. Aging in a BDSM Relationship can help you be creative about working out the 'kinks' - be creative with your partner.
Muscle and Joint Pain and Flexibility
Bottom line, there are many ways you can still enjoy an active BDSM sexual lifestyle, you just need to make adjustments for your own health limits/situation.
As our collective lifespans continue to increase, that stretch between 65 and 80 is no longer the last phase of life. It’s a new section of life, one that we've never had before.
Comments or Questions? Let me hear your thoughts!
Comments or Questions? Let me hear your thoughts!
Share this post - support us:
Ever get confused about which social media sites we are on? Well now you can download our custom toolbar and follow us at the click of a button!
Click this picture in the right sidebar or click the link below and follow the simple instructions!
Get connected today!
Share this post - support us:
I would like to re-introduce you to a wonderful couple, Master Grimm and Slave Nalani. They are a 24/7 BDSM couple that live the lifestyle while being cross-country truck drivers.
If you have not read the first, second, or third parts of their story, I encourage you to read them before continuing on with this one. This is the last installment of their beautiful story that will be posted here. Stay tuned for the e-book to find out the rest of the story! Enjoy this final post of their truly wonderful story.
One day, I had my worse day ever! Since I found this special Man online, my sleep schedule was all messed up because of the huge time difference. I tried to stay awake as long as possible, drinking coffee like crazy so I could stay in contact with my new Master as long as I could! Every day, I woke up at 6am and went to bed at 2 or 3am in the morning, only to wake up again at 6am, just to make sure I didn’t lose contact with Him. He told me from the beginning that he wanted to wish me sweet dreams and tell me he loved me before I went to sleep. If I didn't tell him that I was going to sleep, I would be punished by Him not talking to me a whole day!
One night I fell asleep like a rock! Passed out! I jerked awake shocked! There it was! The one message from Him I never wanted to get! "This will be your punishment", He wrote. I cried hard that whole day! I wrote Him begging Him for forgiveness. My eyes were swollen I didn't eat because I was so upset! How could I do this to him? I looked at the pictures of him that I had printed out and framed. I looked at FB and no response! I cried so much and was hurting so badly that I punished myself by pouring hot candle wax over my breasts, which caused blisters to form. My mind was empty. I thought that I had lost him, because this was my first punishment and I didn't know how to handle it.
The next day, my breasts were hurting because of the candle wax. It reminded me of what had happened. My mind was back on earth again, and after I had finished housework, I looked on FB and found two messages from Him in my inbox!
I was almost too nervous to open them, but I did. He wrote me that I was forgiven and explained to me how important it was for Him to wish me good night and tell me that he loves me. As a truck driver, it isn't easy out on the road and you never know what is going to happen! He felt sorry for me that I had burned myself with the candle wax and told me that if he could be with me, he would have taken care of it. I cried when I was reading his letter to me. I cried so hard I could barely read it through the tears. I cleaned up my face and calmed down before going back to my laptop and writing him back with " i am sorry Master, please forgive me Master. It won't happen again. It was my fault Master and i deserved Your punishment". Fighting back new tears, I wrote him that I love him and told him how much he means to me! He responded back shortly after I sent the message saying he loves me more and that I am special to him. Everything was back to normal again and we both felt better!
After a few days, we had another conversation about moving to be together. He had told his family about possibly moving to Europe to be with me and most of his family supported his decision. Some family didn’t agree and couldn't support that decision. His friends were excited. Only one of his friends told him that it was just some Internet thing and wasn't real. I was hurt by that because all we wanted was for our fairytale to come true! Master asked me how I felt about going to him in the United States of America. For a moment, I was quiet and he said "Hello? Are you there?" I answered with "Yes Master! I would love that!" I was one happy little slave with a big smile on my face!
So I told him that I would do everything to come to him and he was excited and happy! After all, what did I have to lose? Nothing at all! I didn't have any family. My mom died when I was 16years old. I didn't have contact with my father or bother, so what could hold me there? Nothing in my opinion! He told me to come out in the summer of 2011 and that we would do everything to make this bond we had created stronger and turn it into reality. I could serve him 24/7 as his slave. He would train me and teach me everything! Wow my life turned completely into a different life than how I lived before I found him! It was January 2011. We continued to chat, talk online, text back and forth, phone calls and more! The more we talked, the more excited we got about summertime! We fell more deeply in love with each passing day. There were many spicy phone calls in which he wanted me to call him so he could give me permission to play with myself and so he could tell me "Cum for me slave!" Yes, this Man knows exactly how to handle me as newbie slave.
One day while we talked on yahoo messenger voice, he told me he couldn't handle our distance anymore. That it had become too hard and painful for him. I told that I couldn't handle it much either but we had to try to stay strong. Then he said, "I want you here before my birthday on April 4th." Oh boy, it was only 2 months away I told him. He started laughing and said "You’re good in counting." I said "Yes Master, i will be there before Your Birthday." He was happy!
I had to make everything possible in only two months! So for two straight months, I worked that much harder to save the money together for the airplane ticket and to have extra money with me. In the meantime, I gave all my furniture away to the Goodwill. I was very stressed all the time during those two months, counting my money to make sure I had enough for an airplane ticket. I ate as cheap as I could. I gave up my apartment and everything in Europe. My life had come to an end there! Nobody helped me. I did it all by myself!
I made it! That last night, we had our last online chat. My suitcase was packed and I sat in an empty house counting the hours away till it was my time to close the door behind me and say goodbye to my life in Europe! That last night, Master and I talked and He was excited and a little nervous too. I had my shower, was dressed and ready to go waiting for the taxi to arrive. We ended the call and I told him I would call him as soon I was on the bus that goes to the airport in Brussels, Belgium. It was 5 am in the morning when I arrived at the airport and my flight didn't leave till 11 am. I think I was afraid to be late. I checked in, my suitcase was stowed away and I sat at Gate 43 waiting for my departure time! The flights I had to take were, Brussels to Frankfurt, Frankfurt to Houston, TX and Houston, TX to Ontario, California. This was going to be a very long flight, a total of 23 hours.
slave nalani
Share this post - support us:
After a while, even with the kink that goes on in a BDSM relationship, things can become routine.
A spanking is just another spanking, or serving becomes so routine you can do it with out thought. In time, all relationships can get into a rut. Here are some things you might try to spice up your relationship with your Dom or sub partner.
All the Kink, but None of the Thrill
If you are a couple that incorporates some or many BDSM toys in your daily or weekly sex life and you or your partner are not getting the same thrill or zing from it, it may be time to go back to basics.
Recently, I received an email from a fan that was having trouble achieving an orgasm. She stated that her Dom uses the same toys every session, even if in different orders, and that he uses many different ones. I recommended them going back to basics.
 |
See, the human body has many pleasure and pain points. There are many toys on the market (bondage, vibrators, clamps, blindfolds, dildos, floggers, paddles, etc...) that do very good jobs at enhancing sexual arousal and pleasure. But, if you use all of the toys mentioned above for every scene or session, after time, depending on the person, it can become routine and your body gets used to them.
I suggested she set down with her Dominant and discuss this problem. She did and they got rid of all but one toy and decided to change up the toys from scene to scene and to sometimes leave them out all together, using only hands and the ability to obey, as their "tools". I received an email about 3 weeks later and she said that it worked! She had orgasmed every time.
Back to Basics Suggestions:
If you are used to letting toys do the work of arousing and teasing your sub, then you should learn or re-learn to use your mind, body and voice as your only tools.
Voice - Use your most dominant sounding voice to command your sub to stay in certain positions (on all fours, flat on back knees raised, arms to the side, standing at attention legs wide apart, etc...). The sound and power that comes from a natural dominant's commands will sink into a sub's mind and stimulate not only her need and wish to submit to whatever you say, but will also activate her sexual desires as well. Remember, the mind is the most sensual sexual organ we possess.
Body - Use your hands to tease the sub's body. Play with her breasts and nipples, touching light to hard. Experiment with lightly touching her with just your fingertips all over her body while she is laying still and commanded not to move. Use your lips to nibble and reign kisses all over her neck, arms, legs, and torso (front and back) while skipping over her clit and nipples. This builds anticipation and will be unexpected. Have her lay on her stomach with legs spread and lay down on top of her, teasing her vagina with your penis without actually inserting it. Play with her. Enjoy the feeling of your skin on hers. Of the differences between the two of you and how wonderful you both feel touching each other.
Mind - This is your biggest asset, because this is where all the feelings and stimulus that you are doing to her body end up going. Use your imagination. Allow yourself to act out your fantasies with her. Get into her mind, make it sensual and sexy. Make her feel deeply how much you want her by showing her physically and telling her verbally.
Sometimes we forget how to actually connect with our partners without using toys, bondage, or other stimuli. Even if you aren't having issues because of incorporating too many things, take a step back every now and then and embrace a simpler but very sexy and sensual form of sex.
Share this post - support us:
Many of you have heard me speak of how much better I have been with my epilepsy, mental and physical health, and overall well being since I have been with my Padrone.
 |
| Padrone Marco Fegatofi |
Sunday we are celebrating our 2nd anniversary and thought it would be a great idea to look back. I don't even look like the same person I was over 2.5 years ago!
Love and complete submission can do wonders.
Share this post - support us:
Recently I was diagnosed with a very bad case of acid reflux called Gerd.
I found out that the worst of it could be controlled by changing what and how I eat. I looked at it as a lifestyle change, not a diet. To me, diet is another word for "get skinny" and that was not my goal. My goal was, and is, to eat but not be sick or have that nasty burning feeling all the time.
So, I went back to my longer walks and this new way of eating. I can't have fried foods, chocolate, most stuff with tomato in it, most juices, anything with caffeine (coffee, tea, soda) and much more. To keep the acid from not working, I have to eat small meals around the clock when I am awake. If I eat too much I get the reflux. If I don't always have a little something in my stomach, I get reflux. Get the picture?
I write and try to teach women to love themselves as they are, no matter what their size or how much they weigh. As long as you are healthy and feel good, don't let society dictate your happiness or give you a complex about your body.
So, in the first two weeks I lost 4 pounds just because of the different eating patterns and the extra long walks. That's when I fell into the numbers trap!
I started thinking, "If I could lose 10 pounds, I would look so much better" and "If I can continue to lose 2 or more pounds a week I will be even better". I have been so busy with the new book, websites, and my overall life and slave duties to Padrone that I didn't even realize my brain had started creeping back into that old way of thinking.
 |
| The Bare Me - No makeup or touch ups |
So, tonight was the night I had picked to weigh myself to see if I had in fact lost more weight. I felt my clothes fitting differently since I had been walking more, so doesn't that mean I should have lost weight? NOT! It turns out I have not lost any new weight, but in fact gained 1 pound back. It's not a lot, I know. But, if you have fallen in the numbers trap then it is a huge deal to you! I almost freaked! I got off the scale and was really getting pissed at myself.
Right then Padrone's training kicked in. That's when I remembered. I remembered how much Padrone makes me feel wanted. I remembered how good I think I looked in my clothes just the night before. I remember how much I actually like my curvy, hourglass shape. I thought to myself then and there "What the heck am I doing?!"
I had let myself fall back into that old way of thinking and look at what it almost did to me! I vowed I would never go back to that self-pitying place again, nor would I ever think I am anything less that fabulous! Because, you know what, there is only one me so that means I am perfect in my own skin, just as I am.
Yes, I will continue to eat the new way because it has almost completely wiped out the reflux, and boy does hurt like hell and burn when it acts up! I will also keep up my walks because my dog and I both enjoy them. But, I will not get on the scale, nor will I worry about how much I actually weigh.
You might ask why I shared this? It's because I hope none of you fall victim to the numbers game or back into that black, endless hole of self-doubt about your body. If you have, STOP IT!
If you have body image issues, I ask you to go and read my previous articles on ways to help you learn to love your body as it is, no matter if you are a size 2, 12, or 22.
All women are beautiful. Remember that.
Share this post - support us:
The recent attack of adult content on social media sites and the internet reminded me of certain periods in human history where society attacks things that scare them, they don't agree with, or simply don't understand.
If we take a look back through out recorded history, you can see a pattern where the majority in society, condemned, hunted, imprisoned and/or slaughtered groups of minorities whose beliefs called into question the moralistic ideals of the time.
With the recent attacks on the BDSM and Adult content pages on Facebook, Google and now Tumblr, it seems like a new Moralistic movement is taking shape. Is it the religious groups that deem Adult Content and BDSM as immoral? Is it the feminist groups that do not like pictures or descriptions of women in submission? Or is it society that does't understand the real deep meaning of a BDSM relationship and is therefore scared of it because it is so different from the way the majority of Western society was raised?
Since 2009, Google has been celebrated for publishing transparency reports on government requests to take information offline. Each time a government official asks for a search result to be blocked or a YouTube video to be removed, Google marks down the request and discloses the number of such take downs each nation has asked for every six months or so. In many majority-Muslim countries requests for censorship remained relatively rare until the latter half of 2012, when YouTube take down requests citing "religious offenses" spiked.
If we take a look back through out recorded history, you can see a pattern where the majority in society, condemned, hunted, imprisoned and/or slaughtered groups of minorities whose beliefs called into question the moralistic ideals of the time.
With the recent attacks on the BDSM and Adult content pages on Facebook, Google and now Tumblr, it seems like a new Moralistic movement is taking shape. Is it the religious groups that deem Adult Content and BDSM as immoral? Is it the feminist groups that do not like pictures or descriptions of women in submission? Or is it society that does't understand the real deep meaning of a BDSM relationship and is therefore scared of it because it is so different from the way the majority of Western society was raised?
Since 2009, Google has been celebrated for publishing transparency reports on government requests to take information offline. Each time a government official asks for a search result to be blocked or a YouTube video to be removed, Google marks down the request and discloses the number of such take downs each nation has asked for every six months or so. In many majority-Muslim countries requests for censorship remained relatively rare until the latter half of 2012, when YouTube take down requests citing "religious offenses" spiked.
I and most people that I know, can agree that pictures of abused women and children should definitely be banned if they are posted. But, when governments start talking about banning all Adult Content sites, that is where they cross the line on Freedom of Speech.
I get many comments and messages on various sites I administer accross the internet from people that say things such as "you are a sick person" or "only perverts look at this". I get others that say "you are going to hell" and so forth. You get the picture.
One of the foundations of being a Christian is to "judge not lest ye be judged" meaning Don't judge others unless you are prepared to be judged also. So, I throw this out to all of you that call yourselves "good Christians"; how can you sit in judgment of a lifestyle that adults consent to live or practice while hurting no one and still say you are a Christian when you are going against one of the vary principals you are supposed to follow? It's hypocritical.
In the UK, authorities are introducing pornography filters switched on by default to home broadband subscribers by the end of the year. This new legislation is being headed up by none other than Prime Minister David Cameron. No other EU countries are currently introducing any such laws.
Under current law, Internet Service Providers are obliged to freely provide access to all content unless it is illegal. Most EU countries state it is misdirected and ultimately ineffective to try to tackle this issue through the internet infrastructure providers. Parents should be the ones censoring what their children are allowed to view.
The latest victim to fall to the new moralistic movement is Twitter. After pressure from the UK government and their Anti-Porn campaign, they will now be adding a "report abuse" button. Twitter UK said it was adding staff to help handle abuse reports. It also said an in-tweet "report abuse" button currently available on the Twitter app for iPhones would be added to the Twitter website and to platforms used on other mobile devices.
If any of you admin pages or groups on FB or Google+, you already know this button is going to be abused because every moralistic vanilla person is going to be using it against anything they don't like.
So, are you going to stand by and take whatever the Moralists decide and allow your freedom to view whatever you want be taken away or are you going to do something about it? It's up to you people! Let your voices be heard just as loud as those that would censor our lifestyle and our freedoms!
Share this post - support us:
My second anniversary of being with Padrone Marco Fegatofi is coming up in 9 days and inspired me to write this new poem.
Hope you enjoy!
Hope you enjoy!
Share this post - support us:
So, I found out the other day my blog is #3 on a list of sites that are all BDSM related on http://www.ranker.com/list/bdsm-social-networks/dot-commander.
I had no clue. I decided to Google my name to see where else my book or blog might be and found out I'm mentioned on some very interesting sites that I never knew about until now.
My book is mentioned in an online encyclopedia under a section called Relevant Books on:
http://www.isnare.com/encyclopedia/Risk-aware_consensual_kink
http://www.isnare.com/encyclopedia/Dominant_(BDSM)
http://www.isnare.com/encyclopedia/Subspace_(BDSM)
http://www.isnare.com/encyclopedia/Switch_(BDSM)
http://www.amazon.com/Bdsm-Basics-Beginners-Dominants-Submissives/dp/1300837101
http://www.amazon.ca/BDSM-Basics-Beginners-Dominants-Submissives/dp/1300837101
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bdsm-Basics-Beginners-Dominants-Submissives/dp/1300837101
http://www.amazon.de/Bdsm-Basics-Beginners-Dominants-Submissives/dp/1300837101
http://www.lulu.com/shop/michelle-fegatofi/bdsm-basics-for-beginners-a-guide-for-dominants-and-submissives-starting-to-explore-the-lifestyle/ebook/product-20919719.html
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bdsm-basics-for-beginners-a-guide-for-dominants-and-submissives-starting-to-explore-the-lifestyle-michelle-fegatofi/1115085227?ean=9781300838609
https://itunes.apple.com/ca/book/bdsm-basics-for-beginners/id627641268?mt=11
http://www.tower.com/tower_search/search_2.cfm?keywords=Michelle%20Fegatofi&div_id=1
http://www.bokus.com/cgi-bin/product_search.cgi?authors=Michelle%20Fegatofi
http://www.redpepperbooks.co.za/QuickSearch.aspx?Author=Michelle%20Fegatofi
http://www.bookrenter.com/michelle-fegatofi/textbooks-by
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17667099-bdsm-basics-for-beginners---a-guide-for-dominants-and-submissives-starti
http://www.redconceptual.com/submissive/en
http://www.shopwahl.at/a/produktliste/idx/3030100/mot/Bdsm/produktliste.htm
http://www.shopwahl.de/a/produktliste/idx/3030100/mot/Bdsm/produktliste.htm
I also found my blog and articles I have written on many different sites around the world. Some of the sites reposted the articles in their original format. Others hacked them and posted only bits and pieces. That I don't like, but what can I do? At least they didn't steal them outright and try to pass them off for their own.
It was an eye opener! So, take the time and see where you might come up if you google your own name!
Share this post - support us:
I would like to re-introduce you to a wonderful couple, Master Grimm and Slave Nalani. They are a 24/7 BDSM couple that live the lifestyle while being cross-country truck drivers. If you have not read the first part or second part of their story, I encourage you to read them before continuing on with this one. Enjoy this third installment of their truly wonderful story.
 |
| Slave Nalani & Master Grimm |
After I had my first phone call with the Man I didn't know, had only seen a picture of, and to whom I said for the first-time "Hello Master", I was so happy my stomach felt different that night! It was already late at night so I couldn't get back online to send Him a message to tell Him how much I appreciated our first voice contact. So I texted Him from my cellphone!
The next day, I went to the store and reloaded my cellphone and tried to connect to Facebook to see if that was working. It did and I was so happy that I was able to keep in contact with Him. Shortly afterwards, I got a cheap laptop that almost felt apart, so I could stay in the comfort of my own house and remain in contact with Him. Why I felt so close to Him, needing to have contact with Him, I still needed to figure out because I didn't know Him at all.
I kept in contact with Him through my cell phone while waiting for my own internet to be hooked up. Our conversations became longer and we also sent many messages back and forth online. We talked about everything; about myself, about Him and answered questions about what we both needed and was looking for. I felt like a little girl who had fallen in love with her first boyfriend.
Since that day, December 6, 2010, everything changed inside my head! My time schedule was all messed up because there was a 9 hours’ time difference between Europe and America. Did I mention I barely got any sleep? Just to watch Him posting something on His wall, and of course, to write Him as much as possible kept me awake!
Almost every day, I bought an overseas calling card to be able to call Him. The longer I could hear His strong voice, the bigger my happiness became! We laughed a lot too though, but we also had serious conversations about life, love, and the BDSM Lifestyle. He explained to me how He wanted to live the Lifestyle again because He missed it very much. He had been hurt too much before, so He was very cautious allowing somebody else back into His life!
I totally understood what He was talking about and how it felt to be hurt over and over again, so I told Him that I hope to make His pain softer even though we had only phone and online contact! I installed Yahoo messenger so we could have video voice contact, but my stupid cheap laptop didn't have a camera on it, so we stayed with only voice calls. They worked perfectly and we talked for many straight hours!
When He stopped working and parked, He always pulled out His laptop so He could make His voice calls to me. My laptop never closed down unless I was outside the house working. It was all so very new to me but exciting at the same time! He always made time for me to text and to let me call Him if He wasn't on His laptop. At times, it was hard for Him to contact me because He is a truck driver and would have low or no signal. When I didn't hear Him, I was sad and tears would run over my face. I wrote Him messages to His inbox to make myself feel better and more peaceful. The next time He could see them, He had a bunch of reading to do! Yea, I kept Him busy with my writing, but He loved it!
As the days passed by, our conversations increasingly became about the future, our future, because we had built up such a strong connection together. We started thinking about being with each other in real life. I remember I told Him a few times "I will start walking now so I can meet you" or "I will take a bicycle then I will be there shortly". Then He would say “How about the ocean?" Gosh I started laughing hard while I was trying to answer to answer His question with “oh I can swim it!" This Man was and still is so funny, He cracks me up often.
He asked me how it was in Europe and how things were going. I explained to Him that it was pretty cool and easy, and then He said "How about me moving out there to be with you?" For a second I was quiet, shocked, happy, excited, and thinking “Does He really mean this?” So I asked Him, what about your family, your friends, your work? I said that it would be amazingly awesome! I have internet now at home so you can keep in contact with everyone. But how are you going to do this? He answered back "I am old enough to do what I want, friends I don't really have and my family will understand". All I could say was are you serious? Do you really mean this? “Yes” He said, “I want to be happy with you and I will do anything it takes to be together with you." Oh I felt so happy, my whole world turned into a beautiful colorful flower bouquet! That this Man that I just know for less than a month, which I found online, is telling me that He would do anything to be with me!
He waited a little to tell His family because this whole situation was new for Him as well. He needed to get used to the idea, plus His other relationships had never worked out for Him. He was married twice before and both times, He ended up very hurt and disrespected! He had some girlfriends who didn't treat Him right and used Him. In His first lifestyle experience, He had 3 slaves and again, He ended up being disrespected. His last slave couldn't give Him what He wanted or needed! So yes, I totally understood why He needed to get used to the idea. He needed to feel inside His heart that I would never hurt Him! At that time, He was 46 years old and all he wanted was to be a happy peaceful Dominant who could live His life how He wanted and needed. I was submissive girl that wanted a Real Man, a Dominant, a Master with whom I could live with the way He wanted, full of love and peace in both our hearts and not ending up hurt again! Sounds understandable right? To us it did!
Share this post - support us:
I tried logging into my tumblr account michellefegatofi.tumblr.com today and it was gone.
I sent an email to their help desk and they said it was deleted because I used an affiliate's tag and was now considered a spammer. So, apparently, using the same hashtag is a no no. Lesson learned.
I decided to open a new account and rebuild my followers. When I was adjusting the settings, I got a big surprise! The now-Yahoo-owned blogging network made a significant change to the way adult-themed blogs could be discovered on the site, which even further hid their content from public consumption.
One of the best things about Tumblr was that if you knew how to utilize hashtags properly, you could get your name, business, or internet site indexed on the web much faster and acquire many more followers faster. Now with their new settings, only followers can search your content. Adult themed blogs will not be searchable within Tumblr or on the net. So, now I am on the fence if I even want to bother with populating the new account.
It makes sense that Tumblr may not want to index NSFW content — especially if the company wants to sell ads on more content — but rather than putting up faux walls for discovery or denying access to certain terms in mobile apps, the company should create an explicit opt-in setting that allows users to decide if they want to see potentially adult or NSFW content in search. Turn it off by default if you want. This wouldn't be unlike how Google allows users to omit NSFW or adult content from their settings.
If Tumblr isn't careful about how it handles the community response to its new policies, it could backfire.
What do you think of Tumblr's new policies? Are you outraged or is this much ado about nothing? Let us know in the comments.
Share this post - support us:
In life we choose to walk different paths.
We might make a decision that takes us in a direction we never expected or we might make a wrong choice that leads us to a life we never wanted. But, you have to have the courage to choose a path, to make a choice. In life, it can be very scary to choose a path you've never walked before, do things that you've never done before, because you don't know the outcome. That is one of the things that makes life so wonderful to live. You never know what is around the next corner.
The journey into BDSM is very similar. There are many different styles, different forms and levels of submission, and different ways you can be dominate. One of the best things of this lifestyle is that it is ever-evolving. It's your own journey; one that you have to forge on your own or in conjunction with your partner. Once you have the basic knowledge, the possibilities are endless.
My blog, bdsmunveiled.com and many others similar to it, can guide you in different forms of the Lifestyle and inform you of how we, the writers of the blogs, live the lifestyle ourselves. We can educate you on types of play, different dynamics in relationships, toys, protocols, and many other subjects related to BDSM. It is ultimately up to the Dominate and submissive/slave to decide the dynamics, boundaries, rules and regulations of their own relationship.
The one thing you have to remember is you cannot be afraid of change. As with most things in life, relationships in BDSM can change and evolve, and hopefully yours will also. The more you learn and explore, the closer you will become to your partner and the further into submission you can get.
Some of the changes a person can go though from a loving BDSM M/s or D/s relationship is amazing. Readers have sent emails to me telling me about their own illnesses that have gotten better from living a 24/7 BDSM relationship. My own epilepsy has gotten much better over the past two years that I have been a 24/7 slave. With the right combination of rules, guidelines, and structure, it has allowed me to focus on my writing as well as to be delve deep into submission to my Padrone.
My own relationship with Padrone is ever evolving also. The longer we are together, we have grown closer. We have learned more about each other, our strengths and weaknesses, likes, morals, etc. which has allowed our own M/s relationship to deepen to a profound level.
There are items in every relationship that are steady and constant, but there are other items that are either additions or changes, such as rules, guidelines, or daily tasks around the house. The one constant that never changes and is a foundation is the trust, the love and the two way communication that we always have with each other. Those are completely 100 percent essential for any BDSM relationship to work.
So, what is the point to all this you may ask? My point is this. Be cautious in your journey, gather as much knowledge as you can, but be open to new and evolving experiences. you honestly never know what's around the next corner.
We might make a decision that takes us in a direction we never expected or we might make a wrong choice that leads us to a life we never wanted. But, you have to have the courage to choose a path, to make a choice. In life, it can be very scary to choose a path you've never walked before, do things that you've never done before, because you don't know the outcome. That is one of the things that makes life so wonderful to live. You never know what is around the next corner.
The journey into BDSM is very similar. There are many different styles, different forms and levels of submission, and different ways you can be dominate. One of the best things of this lifestyle is that it is ever-evolving. It's your own journey; one that you have to forge on your own or in conjunction with your partner. Once you have the basic knowledge, the possibilities are endless.
My blog, bdsmunveiled.com and many others similar to it, can guide you in different forms of the Lifestyle and inform you of how we, the writers of the blogs, live the lifestyle ourselves. We can educate you on types of play, different dynamics in relationships, toys, protocols, and many other subjects related to BDSM. It is ultimately up to the Dominate and submissive/slave to decide the dynamics, boundaries, rules and regulations of their own relationship.
The one thing you have to remember is you cannot be afraid of change. As with most things in life, relationships in BDSM can change and evolve, and hopefully yours will also. The more you learn and explore, the closer you will become to your partner and the further into submission you can get.
Some of the changes a person can go though from a loving BDSM M/s or D/s relationship is amazing. Readers have sent emails to me telling me about their own illnesses that have gotten better from living a 24/7 BDSM relationship. My own epilepsy has gotten much better over the past two years that I have been a 24/7 slave. With the right combination of rules, guidelines, and structure, it has allowed me to focus on my writing as well as to be delve deep into submission to my Padrone.
My own relationship with Padrone is ever evolving also. The longer we are together, we have grown closer. We have learned more about each other, our strengths and weaknesses, likes, morals, etc. which has allowed our own M/s relationship to deepen to a profound level.
There are items in every relationship that are steady and constant, but there are other items that are either additions or changes, such as rules, guidelines, or daily tasks around the house. The one constant that never changes and is a foundation is the trust, the love and the two way communication that we always have with each other. Those are completely 100 percent essential for any BDSM relationship to work.
So, what is the point to all this you may ask? My point is this. Be cautious in your journey, gather as much knowledge as you can, but be open to new and evolving experiences. you honestly never know what's around the next corner.
Share this post - support us:
Do you believe in the concept of soulmates?
And if you do, how do you think this concept would differ in a true BDSM or D/s relationship? I have always pondered the concept of soulmates but never really believed it until I found my own in my Padrone Marco Fegatofi.
A soulmate is a person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet; a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. Your soulmate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them. When you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also that much more aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful for.
In a normal relationship, we have all seen or known at least one couple that has this kind of connection, or something close. We look on in wonderment at how connected and truly in love that couple is.
In a normal BDSM love relationship, there is always a deeper connection than those in a normal vanilla relationship, simply because of the core principles of BDSM - complete honesty, open communication, and 100% trust. Yes, everyone in any type of relationship should adhere to these principals, but, judging from my own experiences, we in the BDSM community tend to stick to these a lot more than those in the vanilla world.
When you add in the concept of a Dominant or submissive soulmate, how does this deepen the bond of a normal BDSM relationship? I think it adds a much deeper understanding, love, and truer sense of safety and freedom for the submissive.
Now you are asking, how is this possible and what exactly do I mean? Speaking from my own experience, as a submissive slave, when I first met and started talking to Padrone, there was something that drew me to him. His words made me feel as though I were very special in some way. The longer we talked, the more we found out that we have almost the exact same thoughts on philosophy, community, world matters, relationships, and many other things.
Our personalities are the perfect opposite of the other. His strengths are my weaknesses and my strengths are his. His style of Dominance is exactly what I need. He gives me the freedom to be myself completely, without worries about being weak, sick, or weird. His protection, rules, and guidelines give me a sense of safety that I have never had, and in that, I have found a freedom that is almost indescribable.
Our style of M/s is more subtle, softer in many ways than what a lot of other people practice, but it is perfect for us. He allows me freedoms that he knows I need, while at the same time giving me guidelines to follow in every single facet of my life.
He is strong in mind and principals and protects me like I am the most precious jewel on this earth. He allows me to submit to him in every way possible, while also allowing me to voice my opinions on things when I want to.
How is this different from a normal deep M/s connection? We are so deeply connected, he can feel my epilepsy acting up most of the time before I tell him something is wrong. He feels when I need to eat something to level off my sugar levels. He knows when I need him to just hold me tight or when I need some space for whatever reason.
I can anticipate his needs and wants without asking in things like getting him a cigarette before he grabs them, massaging him before he asks me, making him something to eat, and many other things.
Often when he is at work, I will feel he needs to hear my voice if he has had a bad day or is missing me, or he will know right before I call that I am about to call. He knows when I need him to be stricter as a Dominant or softer as the love of my life. He feels when I need a spanking or need him to be a little rougher to satisfy some caveman feeling I am having.
Before Padrone, I believed in love, but always had a feeling that there should be something else or something more too it. I always felt like something was missing and that I was searching for that something extra. Since meeting and living with Padrone, I feel complete. I don't feel like there is some mysterious thing I am missing out on. I feel like I have found the best and most beautifully complete life that I can live.
So, did I change your mind about soulmates? Share your thoughts and your own stories with me!
And if you do, how do you think this concept would differ in a true BDSM or D/s relationship? I have always pondered the concept of soulmates but never really believed it until I found my own in my Padrone Marco Fegatofi.
A soulmate is a person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet; a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. Your soulmate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them. When you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also that much more aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful for.
In a normal relationship, we have all seen or known at least one couple that has this kind of connection, or something close. We look on in wonderment at how connected and truly in love that couple is.
In a normal BDSM love relationship, there is always a deeper connection than those in a normal vanilla relationship, simply because of the core principles of BDSM - complete honesty, open communication, and 100% trust. Yes, everyone in any type of relationship should adhere to these principals, but, judging from my own experiences, we in the BDSM community tend to stick to these a lot more than those in the vanilla world.
When you add in the concept of a Dominant or submissive soulmate, how does this deepen the bond of a normal BDSM relationship? I think it adds a much deeper understanding, love, and truer sense of safety and freedom for the submissive.
Now you are asking, how is this possible and what exactly do I mean? Speaking from my own experience, as a submissive slave, when I first met and started talking to Padrone, there was something that drew me to him. His words made me feel as though I were very special in some way. The longer we talked, the more we found out that we have almost the exact same thoughts on philosophy, community, world matters, relationships, and many other things.
Our personalities are the perfect opposite of the other. His strengths are my weaknesses and my strengths are his. His style of Dominance is exactly what I need. He gives me the freedom to be myself completely, without worries about being weak, sick, or weird. His protection, rules, and guidelines give me a sense of safety that I have never had, and in that, I have found a freedom that is almost indescribable.
Our style of M/s is more subtle, softer in many ways than what a lot of other people practice, but it is perfect for us. He allows me freedoms that he knows I need, while at the same time giving me guidelines to follow in every single facet of my life.
He is strong in mind and principals and protects me like I am the most precious jewel on this earth. He allows me to submit to him in every way possible, while also allowing me to voice my opinions on things when I want to.
How is this different from a normal deep M/s connection? We are so deeply connected, he can feel my epilepsy acting up most of the time before I tell him something is wrong. He feels when I need to eat something to level off my sugar levels. He knows when I need him to just hold me tight or when I need some space for whatever reason.
I can anticipate his needs and wants without asking in things like getting him a cigarette before he grabs them, massaging him before he asks me, making him something to eat, and many other things.
Often when he is at work, I will feel he needs to hear my voice if he has had a bad day or is missing me, or he will know right before I call that I am about to call. He knows when I need him to be stricter as a Dominant or softer as the love of my life. He feels when I need a spanking or need him to be a little rougher to satisfy some caveman feeling I am having.
Before Padrone, I believed in love, but always had a feeling that there should be something else or something more too it. I always felt like something was missing and that I was searching for that something extra. Since meeting and living with Padrone, I feel complete. I don't feel like there is some mysterious thing I am missing out on. I feel like I have found the best and most beautifully complete life that I can live.
So, did I change your mind about soulmates? Share your thoughts and your own stories with me!
Share this post - support us:
