I received a question from a fan the other day asking me if subs get angry and how do they deal with that anger. I answered her, but also thought that would be a good post for today. See, we tend to think that since we are submissives, we are either above feeling normal human vanilla feelings, or that we have to deal with and suffer in silence. That is not true.
Dealing with anger is pretty much like in a vanilla relationship. Even as a slave, I do get angry sometimes, not very often, but it can happen. It always stems from a difference of opinion or a misunderstanding between partners. But, instead of yelling and accusing each other of things, my Padrone and I sit down and work out whatever the problem is right there.
Now, sometimes there will be a raised voice, but rarely. The reason it is important to work it out as soon as something bothers you is because the longer you stew over the issue, the bigger it can become or seem.
You also have to remember you are a person with your own thoughts and feelings and opinions on life. It's ok to have opposing views that aren't always the exact same as your Master's. But, you both must remember to use logic and calmly express what is bothering you. Try to do it in person and always remember to not yell, let anger take over your brain, and never disrespect the other person.
Ask yourself if this is something you feel will continue to bother you tomorrow if it’s not resolved right now. If it will, then you should look for a resolution for it. If it isn’t, then let it slide. It’s not worth the stress that frustration brings you. I know on many occasions I find myself on a short trigger and anything can frustrate me. In these times I have to learn to let some things go as just not with the effort. You can do that too.
When I submit in any way I want it to be perfect. Any flaw that I notice will frustrate me to no end. But I really need to let that go, can you? Perfection isn’t what you need to strive for. You need to strive for happiness and comfort in yourself. People aren’t meant to be perfect, we are meant to be unique. Allow your service to be unique and you will be much happier and less frustrated with yourself.
Lean to be patient and compromising. I know this isn’t as easy as it sounds for some. I am not patient but have learned to become much more patient over the past 1 ½ years. Compromise is something you will do on a daily basis as a submissive. You can’t submit to someone 24/7 and not budge or compromise. But a little secret you might not be thinking of, just as you are learning more patience and compromise, so is your Master. They too are learning to live with you as a person, but also as your Dominant.
So, do subs get angry? Yes. But the outcome all depends on how you manage that anger and frustration from the very beginning. Always remember your place. Never yell or walk away from a disagreement. Listen with open ears and an open mind and compromise.
Post title: " Can Subs Get Angry? "by:
About The Author
Michelle has been in and around the BDSM Lifestyle for over 20 years as a submissive/slave. She mentors and advises new people, as well as writes educational books and blogs on different subjects from a submissive point of view.
She shares her own life experiences and incites in hopes of inspiring others.
Post title: " Can Subs Get Angry? "
Posted by Michelle Fegatofi at 12/15/2012 12:17:00 AM December 15, 2012