Too often as submissives, we get so caught up in trying to anticipate and care for our Dominate's, we forget about ourselves.We lose ourselves in our joy of serving. That is not good. We all need time to step outside of our role as submissives and reflect on our inner spirit, on our feelings, frustrations, goals, and weaknesses.
I will give you a scenario. You are feeling great and everything pretty much is right with your world. You anticipate all the things your Dominant needs, your tasks are all completed perfectly and you have not disappointed your Dominant. But, all of a sudden, you make a mistake, one seen by your Dominant as huge, but one you didn't know you were not supposed to do. You feel alone and frustrated. You don't know who to talk to. Your friends do not understand your situation or choice in lifestyles, and you don't feel you can express your hurt feelings and reasoning to your Dominant, because you made the mistake.
Well, this is the time you need to back off, accept you made a mistake and are human and do a little alone time and reflect on your mistake. Do not beat yourself up. You have probably already done that enough. You need to make sure you understand what exactly the mistake you made was and ensure that you do not make that same mistake again.
Take some time to be alone when you can. Absolute quiet is a good place to start. Sit or lay down in a comfortable position and just breath. Get all the stray, mean, weird, and useless thoughts out of your head, and concentrate on the sound of your heartbeat. Now, you have obtained a calm. Think about all aspects of your mistake you made and variations of that possible mistake (if they exist) and lock it away on your mental DO NOT DO list.
Now forgive yourself for that mistake. I am sure it wasn't that big or bad. Ask yourself if you need to bring it up with your Dominant in a respectful manner of if it's better to just let it go. That is up to you. Think long and careful on this. Remember, our Dominants do not want whiny, spineless subs, but one that thinks for themselves and can reason.
You should have a completely open and honest communication line to your Dominant. You should also never hold anything back from Him. But, you also have to ask yourself, is what you are feeling worth telling Him about it, or is it better to just internalize it, remember to not repeat it, forgive yourself and move forward? That is something that you have to think about.
Now, after you have gotten past your mistake, tell yourself how wonderful you are and remind yourself why you chose to be a submissive/slave. Don't get an ego, but you should be proud of yourself first. Proud of who you are, what you are, how you look, and how you serve your Dominant.
You can also take this time to reflect on goals that you or your Dominant has set out for you to work on. You know your weaknesses, use this time to try to think of ways you might start improving on them. You can use self-reflection as a time to dream about what may come, or what you want out of life.
I actually try to do this every day. Sometimes I am not alone when I do it, but I make sure I won't be disturbed by my own Padrone as I do take that 5 or 10 mins of quiet time to just be.
I know this isn't the usual type of blog post, but after some of the messages I have read, I felt that this needed to be said.
I learned a long time ago that sometimes, if done properly, self-reflection, meditation, or whatever you want to call it, can help keep your mind focused, open it up to new possibilities, help you deal with hurt feelings or even a bout of brattyness that might try to pop out.
Breath. Relax. Drift. Think.
Post title: " Self-Reflection and Meditation for Submissives "by:
About The Author
Michelle has been in and around the BDSM Lifestyle for over 20 years as a submissive/slave. She mentors and advises new people, as well as writes educational books and blogs on different subjects from a submissive point of view.
She shares her own life experiences and incites in hopes of inspiring others.
Post title: " Self-Reflection and Meditation for Submissives "
Posted by Michelle Fegatofi at 1/17/2013 08:40:00 AM January 17, 2013