This is an excerpt from the book BDSM Basics for Beginners - A Guide for Dominants and Submissives Starting to Explore the Lifestyle.
Along with responsibility, the Dominant must have patience. Patience in a Dominant is a requisite too, because there may be many times when a submissive may not reach expectations. This may not be due to any failing on the submissive's part, and so the Dominant must show patience, and a calming influence: an ability to help the sub, to achieve what they both want, in a structured and sensible way, and never to criticize when things don't go well.
A Dominant must always be in control. Drugs, even alcohol, are mind and body controlling agents. They affect relationships and most importantly can affect a scene, therefore taking away the control the Dominant MUST have.
A Dominant is always honest. To lie is to show You cannot be trusted and a sub/slave must be able to trust You to respect you. Every sub/slave knows that not every Dominant is super experienced and will respect You much more if You tell the truth. Be honest with a sub/slave about Your level of experience with others. They can even help You to gain experience, which can be an enjoyable learning process. Tell them up-front if You do not wish a monogamous relationship. Most submissives understand and even expect this in a Dominant. You may not get "that" sub/slave, but You will not lose her/his respect.
A Dominant expects, but does not demand respect. No Dominant demands strangers to call him/her Master/Mistress. Respect is earned over time. Demanding Master/Mistress on Your name means nothing and is a word that when not earned, is meaningless and makes You appear to be petty and childish. Those that know and respect You will call you Master or Mistress when You earn it, not before. Remember, to other Dominants, You are not Their Master/Mistress. You are Their equal. Do not demand Them too ever call You that.
A Dominant should only take a submissive that will match Him/Her. A sub/slave that is not into whips should not belong to a Dominant that loves to whip submissives.
A Dominant HAS to know and understand what the needs, desires and wants of a sub/slave are. Failure to do so may harm the submissive emotionally and mentally.
Post title: " A Dominant's Role "by:
About The Author
Michelle has been in and around the BDSM Lifestyle for over 20 years as a submissive/slave. She mentors and advises new people, as well as writes educational books and blogs on different subjects from a submissive point of view.
She shares her own life experiences and incites in hopes of inspiring others.
Post title: " A Dominant's Role "
Posted by Michelle Fegatofi at 1/20/2013 12:46:00 AM January 20, 2013