Wikipedia describes Mental BDSM as the collection of activities intended to create a psychological impact, often without a physical component. Another noteworthy but controversial example is the 'mind fuck', wherein a state of confusion and/or psychological conflict is intentionally created. While mental 'players' have considerably less documented material to study, an active Internet community and classes offered through local groups and conventions, provide many learning opportunities.
Mental submission is the act of submitting in your mind to the will of another. It is a decision made of a person's own free will after they have met someone they completely trust, they can communicate openly with, and have the need and desire to submit to. They only make this decision after careful consideration and after time has passed.
Mental submission might come in many forms and for different reasons. Some people meet online and connect deeply but live in different places so can't be together physically. Others may have physical limitations that don't allow them to kneel, perform scenes, or practice the more physical acts often associated with BDSM. In these cases, mental submission may be the only option for them to experience a BDSM Lifestyle.
Now, some of you may argue that it's not 'real BDSM' if that physical part is not there. I don't agree. Scientific studies have shown that sex is 90% mental with 10% physical stimulation. Let's look at a different example: Age. When we get older, our bodies are not able to function at 60 the same way they did at 40 or 20. There are more limitations that we have to endure and work around, even if in our own minds we think we can still do whatever we did the past 40 years. It's just not physically possible. If you read my past posts on BDSM and aging, you will understand my reasons better. People over 60 still want and do have sex. They just do it less often than a horny 20 year old. They connect on a much deeper level than that of younger generations. Mentally, they are perfectly able to submit to someone that is Dominant. Does that mean someone that's older can't still practice BDSM? No.
Mental submission has always been around but not as prevalent as it is now. With the invention of the internet, smart phones, and video chats, technology has enabled more people to explore the world of BDSM. The internet gives those that are shy, scared or just curious, the ability to seek out knowledge and have talks with real life practicing subs, about the Lifestyle.
I have written many different articles about online BDSM and various aspects of it. This is always a hot topic and new points of views are always emerging from it. If you are one of those that carry the attitude that a 'real BDSM relationship' can only be carried out if the people see each other in real life, I hope this article gives you a new way of viewing BDSM in this new world.
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Everyday, we go through our daily lives in the vanilla world.
When we go to work, take the kids to school, go shopping, visit friends, or just go about our routines, we are surrounded by normal or "vanilla" people. We all maintain some level of "normal/vanilla" so we don't draw undue attention to ourselves or our lifestyle.
The majority of people following BDSM blogs or sites are entirely vanilla except for the brief moments in time when they are online or in the bedroom and get to explore the BDSM side of their personality. Now, there are many people and couples like myself that live the lifestyle 24/7, but the majority do not.
So, if you want to incorporate more of the Lifestyle into your daily life, without upsetting your vanilla world too much, how would you do that? The following tips can be used in cyber or real life relationships.
Dominants
Submissives
These are but a few of the rules you can incorporate into your relationship to help you feel more submissive or Dominant in a vanilla world.
When we go to work, take the kids to school, go shopping, visit friends, or just go about our routines, we are surrounded by normal or "vanilla" people. We all maintain some level of "normal/vanilla" so we don't draw undue attention to ourselves or our lifestyle.
The majority of people following BDSM blogs or sites are entirely vanilla except for the brief moments in time when they are online or in the bedroom and get to explore the BDSM side of their personality. Now, there are many people and couples like myself that live the lifestyle 24/7, but the majority do not.
So, if you want to incorporate more of the Lifestyle into your daily life, without upsetting your vanilla world too much, how would you do that? The following tips can be used in cyber or real life relationships.
Dominants
- Have your submissive use text messaging or email to check-in with you certain times of the day to let you know where they are.
- Give your submissive specific orders of what to wear (color of panties each day; heels or flat shoes; dress or pants, etc...)
- Give your submissive a token of her position to wear as a reminder (collar, bracelet, ring)
- Give her orders of what color to paint her nails each week
- Give her reasonable tasks to follow each day
Submissives
- Keep a photo record of the places you go or tasks you accomplish during the day and send them to your Dominant.
- Use a GPS tracking software on your cell phone to allow your Dominant to see your whereabouts anytime they want to.
- Send a text message when you arrive and when you leave a new location
- Write an email of what your daily schedule for that day and send it to your Dominant either the night before or first thing in the morning
These are but a few of the rules you can incorporate into your relationship to help you feel more submissive or Dominant in a vanilla world.
If you have any other suggestions, please comment below. We love hearing from you!
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