If you have explored the world of BDSM, you may have come across many different terms, titles and categories to describe Tops and bottoms of the power exchange or power dynamic of relationships. In the last few years, a couple of terms have been utilised much more frequently than previously, namely “Alpha Sub” and “Brat”.
While “Brat” has been around much longer than “Alpha Sub”, I will admit I do not agree with either term. I think that the very meaning of Brat goes against what it means to be submissive, as does the term Alpha.
If you consider the meaning of Alpha, it is defined as the leader, the dominant one, the head of the group. This is as opposed to the term Submissive which is defined as ready to conform to the will of others, compliant and obedient. If words and titles hold meaning for you, how can you use such an oxymoron? How is it possible to be a Dominant Leader that obeys the will of others? Am I taking their meanings too literally? Maybe. But to me and many other BDSM scholars, it just doesn’t make sense.
After researching the term Alpha Submissive, I found only a few references in some obscure articles prior to 2009. It seems that from 2009 forward, many people have picked up that term and started using it in various forms and meanings. The most used description is that of a woman that is dominant in every part of her life except for sexually. In my opinion, this is a Sexual Submissive or a Bedroom Submissive. But are we just talking semantics? Probably.
How and where did the term Alpha Sub come about? I haven’t been able to find that out. But Sexual Submissive and Bedroom Submissive have been used as terms to describe certain types of subs for at least 30 years and probably longer. They are not politically incorrect and they are not offensive. So why use such a contradictory term instead of the standard ones? I have come to the conclusion that perhaps it’s the fashionable thing to do. It’s a buzz word that many new people read somewhere in a fiction book or online and they think it describes them. Others that don’t like the word submissive may put Alpha in front of it to take away some of the meaning to justify their feelings to themselves. I am not a psychologist, nor am I a mind reader. But, this is the conclusion I have derived from the people I’ve talked with about this as well as my own observations throughout the Lifestyle over many years.
Brats are defined as a spoiled, annoying or ill mannered people. “Brat” is a descriptor usually used in a negative or contemptuous way. In BDSM, it tends to refer to a submissive with a reputation for talking back, being disrespectful or being mildly disobedient. Again, it may just be wording or semantics, but this would be used to describe a SAM or Smart Ass Masochist. SAMs normally exhibit the above behavior with the end goal of being punished to satisfy their masochistic side.
In the world of BDSM, a submissive is a person who is respectful and wants to please. Yes, they might have a playful streak, but it is one that is never disrespectful, never crosses that line and never seen as bratty behavior. In fact, a submissive would generally be mortified to learn that their Dominant considered them a brat. In my opinion, people who label themselves as Brats do not understand the true meaning of being a submissive; they don’t have the drive or the need to be truly submissive to a Dominant. These people think they are submissive because they like the kinky sex or the idea of it from what they have read in books or have seen in movies.
If you are interested in this subject, I suggest that you do your own research by reading books and blogs and talking to community leaders. Take all the information you get and form your own opinion. The one thing I do tell everyone is to keep your mind open to new possibilities and ways of thinking. Even if you disagree, at least try to see a different point of view with an open mind.
While “Brat” has been around much longer than “Alpha Sub”, I will admit I do not agree with either term. I think that the very meaning of Brat goes against what it means to be submissive, as does the term Alpha.
If you consider the meaning of Alpha, it is defined as the leader, the dominant one, the head of the group. This is as opposed to the term Submissive which is defined as ready to conform to the will of others, compliant and obedient. If words and titles hold meaning for you, how can you use such an oxymoron? How is it possible to be a Dominant Leader that obeys the will of others? Am I taking their meanings too literally? Maybe. But to me and many other BDSM scholars, it just doesn’t make sense.
After researching the term Alpha Submissive, I found only a few references in some obscure articles prior to 2009. It seems that from 2009 forward, many people have picked up that term and started using it in various forms and meanings. The most used description is that of a woman that is dominant in every part of her life except for sexually. In my opinion, this is a Sexual Submissive or a Bedroom Submissive. But are we just talking semantics? Probably.
How and where did the term Alpha Sub come about? I haven’t been able to find that out. But Sexual Submissive and Bedroom Submissive have been used as terms to describe certain types of subs for at least 30 years and probably longer. They are not politically incorrect and they are not offensive. So why use such a contradictory term instead of the standard ones? I have come to the conclusion that perhaps it’s the fashionable thing to do. It’s a buzz word that many new people read somewhere in a fiction book or online and they think it describes them. Others that don’t like the word submissive may put Alpha in front of it to take away some of the meaning to justify their feelings to themselves. I am not a psychologist, nor am I a mind reader. But, this is the conclusion I have derived from the people I’ve talked with about this as well as my own observations throughout the Lifestyle over many years.
Brats are defined as a spoiled, annoying or ill mannered people. “Brat” is a descriptor usually used in a negative or contemptuous way. In BDSM, it tends to refer to a submissive with a reputation for talking back, being disrespectful or being mildly disobedient. Again, it may just be wording or semantics, but this would be used to describe a SAM or Smart Ass Masochist. SAMs normally exhibit the above behavior with the end goal of being punished to satisfy their masochistic side.
In the world of BDSM, a submissive is a person who is respectful and wants to please. Yes, they might have a playful streak, but it is one that is never disrespectful, never crosses that line and never seen as bratty behavior. In fact, a submissive would generally be mortified to learn that their Dominant considered them a brat. In my opinion, people who label themselves as Brats do not understand the true meaning of being a submissive; they don’t have the drive or the need to be truly submissive to a Dominant. These people think they are submissive because they like the kinky sex or the idea of it from what they have read in books or have seen in movies.
If you are interested in this subject, I suggest that you do your own research by reading books and blogs and talking to community leaders. Take all the information you get and form your own opinion. The one thing I do tell everyone is to keep your mind open to new possibilities and ways of thinking. Even if you disagree, at least try to see a different point of view with an open mind.
Post title: " Alpha Sub and Brat - Real BDSM Terms or Buzz Words? "
About The Author
Post title: " Alpha Sub and Brat - Real BDSM Terms or Buzz Words? "
Posted by Anonymous at 1/14/2016 03:20:00 PM January 14, 2016
Tell a friend about us, add a link to this page. Share this post or email it to a friend. Become a follower of the blog and of our various social media pages.
We love to hear from you! Your thoughts, your questions, even your unfavourable opinions will help us to write more.
Drop a comment below, tell us what you think!
By commenting, sharing, and pinning, you are helping us grow! Also, check the notify button to know when your comment is replied.
Thank you for being part of our journey! And thanks for reading!
Thank you for being part of our journey! And thanks for reading!
I usually see the term "Alpha Sub" used by people who are trying to rank themselves within a group. For example a Dominate who has several submissives will label one as the "Alpha" - making her more important than the others. This could mean anything from being the first pick to managing the other submissives when the Dominate is unavailable. I think the term "Brat" has stemmed from a submissive sub-group called Littles. They are not submissive in the traditional sense, but rather playing acting as infants/children/pre-teens. Rather than being good children they top from bottom as brats. Both terms are often used in the newer BDSM romance novels which are widely popular.
ReplyDeleteHave to say I am not offended by your post. I am very much and alpha in most aspects of my life. I run a company and am used to people doing what I ask of them and holding them accountable to my standards. But that is my job, which takes a huge chunk of my life. However, I do not consider myself a "alpha submissive." I consider myself just sub. My Dom is very understanding of my job, but when he asks me to do something I stop and make time to do what is asked of me. My submission is not restricted to our bedroom alone. I am more than willing to do what is asked by when, when he says. I am truly blessed to have found my Dom. :)
ReplyDeleteJust ran across your blog recently and have been reading several posts. I don't have an opinion on the alpha sub term but I would disagree with your description of a brat. I wouldn't consider disrespectful or disobedient behavior to be "bratting", rather a brat remains within the letter of the law but continuously pushes against the boundaries of her dominant's intent. She is always respectful and obedient but keeps the dominant on his toes by playfully exploiting loopholes in his directions (oversimplified example: he says "please bring me some scrambled eggs for breakfast", she brings them raw because he never specified "cooked"). By doing this, she is able to have fun, play games, and continuously reaffirm that her dominant cares about her, has patience with her, will not lose his temper, etc...
ReplyDeleteI don't know about definitive definitions but I can be bratty sometimes. It's a fun way to play within context of a relationship. If I push my Daddy it is always done within the framework of submitting to him. If he he is not in the mood he can stop me with just a look. When I get "the look" I stop any and all bratty behaviors immediately.
ReplyDeleteAs for an Alpha Sub I never heard that term before but it appeals to me. I have a demanding and powerful job in my career, but my submission starts way before the bedroom. My Daddy is proud of my career and his nurturing but firm hand guides me to excel more and more. When my I excel in my career, we look at it as reflection upon Daddy.
Just my thoughts/experience.
Love the blog!!!
Interesting piece. Brat, I level at Luci and she plays up nicely to get a reaction out of me, works well in our sub/dom relationship. Alphasub I use to empower Luci, I've only 1 sub, she works hard and has her own goals in life and Alphasub suits her she's lots of balls to juggle and has to be competitive in a work environment.
ReplyDelete