The following is an excerpt from my upcoming book dedicated solely for Submissives:
- You do have rights. You have the right to walk away at any time for any reason.
- No one can keep up a 24/7 high protocol lifestyle for long without a break for of kids, family, work and other life events.
- No man has an erection continuously. Unless they're priapic, in which case, a doctor's visit is in order.
- There is such a thing as PMS, and no amount of Dominance will make it go away.
- Your cyber safeword is the off button on the front of your computer. Use it.
- There are going to be times when you don't feel like having sex. It does and will happen. Prepare yourself mentally for it because it is just a part of life and does not mean you are a bad submissive.
- Living a 24/7 Lifestyle is not a myth. Living 24/7 in chains, naked and kneeling is.
- There will come a time when you see your Dominant scratching himself, belching and in need of a shower. They are only human.
- No one understands your collar and its true meaning but you. Being proud to wear it everywhere is different than showing it off at the local market.
- Eventually, you're going to have to take off the slave cuffs to go to some real life appointment. Get used to it.
- People get sick. People die. Use a condom, please, unless you've been tested twice in the last year, and so has your partner.
- Don't walk away from your friends. You might well need them later, if your dream Dominant turns into a frog.
- If you want something, ask. Ask respectfully, ask in role, and ask in good faith. But ask. If you don't, chances are, you not going get it.
- Just because you call yourself a slave, doesn't mean that others will agree with your definition. Be prepared to defend your views, but don't growl at others for their opinions. They have a right to them, same as you do.
- Just because the screen name says Master doesn't mean he is one.
- There are things you won't do in Real Life that you role played with online.
- BDSM is not always about sex.
- People are not always nice. You will not play at every party you attend. If you are not careful and always aware of your surrounds, you may get hurt in a non-consensual way.
- Your Dominant is not a mind reader. You need to always be open and honest with your feelings.
- Your Mistress is not always dressed in thigh highs and hose. A Master does not always have his flogger nearby. Sometimes, it's time for sweat pants and hot cocoa.
- An argument is not the end of the world. Not resolving it, however, might be.
- Sometimes, a fuck is just a fuck. A beating is just a beating. And a kiss is just a kiss. Enjoy it, remember it, and move along.
Post title: " A Brief Reality Check of BDSM and Submission "
About The Author
Post title: " A Brief Reality Check of BDSM and Submission "
Posted by Michelle Fegatofi at 2/17/2013 02:43:00 AM February 17, 2013
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Oh i love it!
ReplyDeleteLiving a 24/7 Lifestyle is not a myth. Living 24/7 in chains, naked and kneeling is. AND BDSM is not always about sex. is something i am always talking about with my peers...i will share this!
Glad you like it and thanks!
ReplyDeleteHi,I'm new to the lifestyle.....love my Master very much!!,but I do have a lot of fears!! Been the caregiver for as long as I could remember but get used because of it!....my Master has opened my eyes to a lot of things about me that caused so much shame in the past!....how do you know if your a sub or just mentally sick from a bad upbringing?
ReplyDeleteFirst, it's good that you recognize you had a bad childhood, and yes, it does shape who we become as adults. But, you also have to realize that it does not mean you have to stay on that path.
ReplyDeleteBeing a sub is a need you feel internally. It's more than just a need to care for someone. It's a need to serve, be used in whatever capacity your Dom wants, to enjoy and follow all the rules set out by your Dom, to submit to his power over you and love it, to feel protected and loved on a deep level that a basic vanilla relationship can't touch it, to know, wherever you are that you are owned and you still abide by your rules and guides even if your Dominant is not right there beside you.
That is a sub. I would think when it comes to someone mentally ill, it is more of a masochistic tendency because they do not know their own worth. That is not submissiveness.
I needed to hear that. Thank you.
DeleteMy best friend shared your link, because she has been encouraging me to write about the reality of being a 24/7 BDSM slave. You've hit the nail on the head over and over again. I'm sitting beside my Master saying, "she really knows what she's talking about." I'm so happy that you've written a book about the lifestyle. I can't wait to read it! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm very glad you can connect with how I view the lifestyle. I try to give people a very real version and not the erotica book or 50 shades of gray fantasy version because they simply are not real. Let me know how you like the book!
ReplyDeleteThank you! People keep yelling at me for not liking 50 Shades and trying to tell everyone that it is not real and was not researched well at all. They tell me I'm being judgmental and that the books are just "the greatest thing ever" and they want their very own Christian Grey. So happy to see another in the lifestyle saying it!
ReplyDeleteI haven't read the books and refuse too because of all the wrong crap it makes people believe about the lifestyle. I have had so many subs come to me telling me things that they believe are true and they are from that book. I'm glad other real BDSMers are coming out now also.
ReplyDelete