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Michelle Fegatofi 2:16 AM 22 October 2014 Comment here!

i find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive
to my Master in a loving relationship.
i am not weak or stupid. i am a strong woman,
with firm views and a clear concept of what i want out of my life.
i do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength.
i will look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never
will i be more complete than when He is with me.
i know that He will protect my body, my mind, and my soul
with His strength and wisdom.
He is everything to me, as i am everything to Him.
His touch awakens me and His thoughts free me.
Only in serving Him do i find complete freedom and joy…
His punishments may be harsh, but i accept them thankfully,
knowing that He has my best interests always foremost in His mind.
If He desires my body for pleasure, i shall joyfully give it to Him
and take pleasure myself from knowing that i have brought Him happiness.
However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of O/our relationship.
The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt,
those are all parts of this relationship.
My body is His, and if He says i am beautiful, then i am.
No matter what i look like to others, i am beautiful in His eyes,
and because of that i hold my head high.
If He says i am His precious jewel,
then i am that…a beautiful, sparkling gem.
If He says that i am His pet, His slut, His whore, then i am that..
as wanton and dirty as He wants me to be.
My mind is His, to expand, to explore, to know only as He can.
i have no secrets from Him… for secrets are a thing that would
keep me from being more perfectly His.
Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself…
and i do not want walls.
His lessons are not always ones i would seek on my own,
but they are lessons He has decided that i need, and so i learn from Him.
My soul is His, as bare to His touch as ever my skin could be
when i kneel naked at His feet.
Never a moment goes by when i do not feel His presence,
be He miles away or standing over me.
If i were to ever displease Him, His displeasure would be a blow to my soul,
worse punishment than any lashes could be.
The anguish of my soul that i feel when i disappoint Him
is harder to bear than any physical anguish i feel.
i am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend
His time and energy so freely on me.
i have the easier job, to feel, to experience,
to let myself go and abandon everything to Him.
i am His pleasure and His responsibility, and He takes both seriously .
i am a submissive woman.
i am proud to call myself that, my submission is a gift that i do not give lightly,
and can only be given to the One who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.
Only to my Master who has that strength, will i give myself fully,
because i am strong and proud.
i am a submissive woman.

I am a Submissive Woman

Post title: "I Am A Submissive Woman"

Michelle Fegatofi 12:11 AM Comment here!
Today is the first in what I hope will become a weekly occurrence of me answering great questions submitted to me by readers from around the globe. Below there are a variety of topics discussed as well as some links to more in-depth reading. 

BDSM Unveiled Q&A

Q1) I call myself a babygirl/sub with a few slave traits. Babygirl=because I want to be protected and treated like a princesses, sub=because I want to please him and slave=because I have this need to serve him sexually and domestic. Am I classifying myself properly?

                                       Titles Classification in BDSM

Classifications are simply titles that we, as humans, need so that we may better explain to ourselves and others what we are, what we represent, or simply to feel more comfortable. Every sub wants to be protected by her Dom. That is a common trait among most subs. Now, 'being treated like a princess' is not what I would consider a submissive trait. We all want to be treated with love and respect by our partners and should expect a certain level of treatment, but not expect princess or queen treatment. To me, that is something that is more reserved for a dominant female. A baby girl usually wants a softer dominant with more lenient rules. As far as the differences between sub and slave, it varies from person to person. The needs you describe are all submissive traits. A slave is one that wants all decisions made for her. She craves rules, structure, and the peace of mind that comes with not having the responsibilities of decision making in most things pertaining to daily life. Both submissives and slaves want to serve their dominants in various ways. Decide if you want a relationship where most of, if not your entire life has decision made for you? If the answer is no, then you are not a slave but a submissive with a deep desire to serve her Dominant. As far as classifications, don't get too hung up on them because every person has their own variation of what a sub/slave/bg is. Just find one that you are satisfied with and go with it.

For more information, visit the following links:

Q2) The Daddy Dom I was with for almost a year was wonderful, kind and loving. About 6 months into the LDR he started to change. He had 2 deaths in the family within a month of each other (one was his mother). He stopped tasking me saying that I wasn't doing as he wanted and that he was getting tired of having to revisit the same subjects over and over again because I "couldn't get them right" and talked about what a sucky sub I was and that I would be a better online sub because I could fake it better. I know deep down what I am, I know the needs and the cravings I have to submit. My question is if I feel it so strong why is it that I was having so much trouble learning and retaining the information he was trying to teach me? 

Submissive or Slave Training

First, I want to know how you were in the beginning when he was kinder? Where you able to learn and adapt to his ways and the things he was teaching you? Where the items he was trying to teach consistent or did he waver and change them? Just from the little you have told me, it sounds like you need a strong but kind and patient dominant that is extremely consistent in what he is trying to teach you. I think that a number of things contributed to what you term as your inability to learn. His inconsistent behavior, the pressures he was under from dealing with emotional stresses, and there were probably things in your own life that were a priority over your submission. I don't know on that last part, but it's just a guess. I think that life was one of many factors to the reasons you didn't work out, bit I don't think that you are unable to learn. With the right dominant and the right life circumstances, I think you will be a great sub.

For more information, visit the following links:

Submissive or Slave Training

Q3) The most heartbreaking post for me are the ones from submissives who are abused by fakers, abusers, and just plain creeps. Those who just abandon the Sub or string her along through online and long distance contact are not dominants. Recently I was reading an article that suggest that these things happen repeatedly and in such large numbers because we, the Submissives, are allowing it by not vetting the individual. Many Submissives have low self esteem and are just accepting anyone that wants to play with them. They are not following the information that clearly outlines safety in meeting and playing with someone. And most importantly they are not following their guts, questioning the slightest discrepancies in word and behavior and walking away. Are we failing to safe guard ourselves physical and emotional?

Warning Signs of Fake Dominant

Many abusive people use BDSM as a cover for themselves. They will call themselves dominant and will make an entire fake profile and history to catch new, inexperienced, or unwary subs. With the influx of people into the lifestyle over the past few years and the ever expanding internet, many people have dropped all precautions. New subs either don't know or just don't follow common sense safety precautions, online and in real life. We have to think about safety and take precautionary measures in both arenas because many relationships start off online and then transition into a real life situation. There are many females that come online with unrealistic expectations of what they are looking for and exactly what they might get into. I have come across many newbies that entered into an online D/s relationship with a person they had not known for longer than a week and had no clear understanding of what they were getting into. Needless to say, most of those relationships ended with hurt, confused, and misguided subs. I always advise new people to read everything about the lifestyle they can, possibly participate in discussion groups and maybe go to a few munches before ever considering any type of BDSM relationship. With knowledge, you have power and enlightenment. With an understanding of the lifestyle, you can be more cautious and better aware of the pitfalls, fake dominants, and other dangers lurking about. 

For more information, visit the following links:

Thank you to the followers that submitted questions. I hope they were answered to your satisfaction and that the additional reading links gave you more information. 

If you would like my opinion on any BDSM related subject, send me your question at and they will be answered here next Tuesday. 

Post title: "BDSM Unveiled: Talk Tuesday Questions for 10/21/2014"

Michelle Fegatofi 12:42 AM 21 October 2014 Comment here!
Email me any BDSM related question and I will answer it on Tuesdays! Starting this Tuesday!

BDSM Talk Tuesdays

Post title: "BDSM Unveiled Presents: Talk To Me Tuesday"

Michelle Fegatofi 12:36 AM 03 October 2014 Comment here!
Introducing a new series from author Michelle Fegatofi!
BDSM Basics for Submissives is tackles specific topics that every submissive/slave will deal with at least once in their submissive life. The first installment Dealing with the Mental and Emotional Side of Submission looks deeper into the psychological side of BDSM.

BDSM Basics for Submissives

Over the years, I have found a lot of helpless and sometimes clueless submissives that were mentally and emotionally abused by dominants. They each felt like they deserved anything they got and never even questioned the dominants about their behavior. One of the hardest things to learn as a new submissive in the world of BDSM is how to navigate and deal with the whirlwind of mental and emotional stress that can come from being in a D/s or M/s relationship. Many people believe they are not allowed to feel any bad feelings, think bad or wrong thoughts, and always have to be a happy submissive. As humans, we all have to deal with negative feelings and thoughts from time to time, even though we may be submissives. This guide is a tool that will help you understand, analyze, and deal with different types of emotions and mental stresses associated with being a submissive.

BDSM Basics for Submissives

Available in eBook format at:

Post title: "BDSM Basics for Submissives - Dealing with the Mental and Emotional side of Submission"

Michelle Fegatofi 1:19 AM 28 September 2014 1 Comment

If you read my last post on

Feeling like a Submissive Failure, you know that this past year has had a lot of ups and downs for me. I have struggled with mood swings, lack of interest, lack of motivation, and the inability to focus on one thing for long. The things I enjoy the most (writing and interacting with my followers) just fell to the wayside because I simply had no drive to pursue them.

Lost interest in everything

Normally, I have a very even temperament and sunny personality no matter if I'm sick, suffering from the effects of my Epilepsy, or dealing with unpleasant people. Many times in the past few months, I really wondered to myself if I was having some kind of mental illness starting or if my body had been possessed by a ghost or some evil demon spirit. There were many times that I was aggressive to my Padrone and other times I was feeling down over something insignificant that he said. If you know me or have read my previous posts, you know I love and worship my Padrone. He is my world and being his slave is what makes me happy. I respect and obey him in all ways.

Mood swings

So, if I'm happy, in love with my Padrone, love being his slave and living a 24/7 M/s relationship, what could possibly possess me to ever get aggressive towards him or try to start a fight over something stupid? It would make a great story if I could say that a gremlin took over my body, but this is reality. What it really was is Menopause.

Menopause and premenopause

I know I'm only 41 years old. That is usually too young to have full blown menopause. Well, in my case it's not. At the age of 32, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. The doctor recommended a complete hysterectomy. At age 33, about a year after the surgery, my body transitioned into a premenopausal state. At first, the symptoms were so small and random that they didn't really bother me that much. Now in the past couple of years, I have been experiencing more hot flashes and needing much more sleep. Even though I experienced these symptoms, I never consciously thought about the reason behind them.

Too young for menopause

Thinking back over this past year and talking about it with Padrone, the mood swings and many other symptoms attributed to menopause really escalated as far back as May. I never thought about it because I was the one it was happening to and unless you make a very conscious effort to monitor all of your moods, actions, and words, you have no idea how they come across to other people.
Become more aware of your words, moods, actions.

How does menopause affect submission? It can affect it in many ways that a submissive female is not aware of. It made my moods erratic at times. It caused me to become stand-offish and have thoughts of directly disobeying Padrone. It made me wonder at times if I really was cut out to be a submissive or if I was just going through the motions. It made me doubt myself, my life choices, my thoughts, even my sanity at times. Without the loving guidance and extreme patience of Padrone, I honestly have no idea how I would have withstood the firestorm of emotions going on inside my own head this past year.

Living with menopause

So, how and when did I come to realize that I was not crazy and that everything that I have been experiencing was attributed to menopause? A couple of days ago I started crying very intensely for no reason. Padrone was asleep and I curled up into his back, clinging for dear life. He woke up, turned over and asked me what the matter was. I was crying so strongly that I couldn't even talk. He just held me until I calmed down. When I was able to form coherent thoughts and words, I told him that I really didn't know why I was crying. He held me and after some moments told me he thought it was menopause.

Talking to your Dominant helps.

I hadn't even thought about that. We quietly talked it over and discussed all my symptoms and things that had been happening to me over several months prior. He calmed me down and told me to research menopause symptoms, especially mood swings. I did as I was told. After reading the first article, it felt like a light bulb went on above my head. Once I read several articles, a huge weight seemed to lift off my shoulders and it was like I had a revelation! It turned out I had never been possessed by a gremlin nor was I losing my mind! All the crazy stuff I had been experiencing, feeling, and going through had a medical explanation. I had finally transferred into full blown menopause after suffering premenopause for almost 8 years.

Symptoms of Menopause

Here are a list of commonly felt symptoms experienced by women in Pre menopause or Menopause:

  • Breast tenderness
  • Vaginal dryness
  • Lower sex drive
  • Mood swings
  • Erratic thoughts or behavior
  • Fatigue
  • Aggressiveness
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Lack of focus
  • Lack of motivation
  • Weight gain or loss
  • Forgetfulness
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
Those are just some things that women can face during this period in their lives. There is hope and help to control or curb many of these symptoms. I urge you to do your own research and talk to a doctor before starting any new health regimens.

Can you still be a submissive if your are experiencing menopause? Of course! The very first thing you need is a very patient and understanding Dominant. The next thing you have to do is to become more aware of your moods, thoughts and actions, especially reactions. When you have thoughts that make you doubt your ability or desire to submit, stop and reflect on the joy, love, and honor you get from being submissive to your dominant. 

Submissive after Menopause.

Make sure to talk to your dominant about what's going on inside your head and with your body. Help him understand that these changes occurring will make your submission a little more difficult sometimes and that during these times is when you need a little more understanding and leniency. Ask him to read some of the research you found on premenopause and menopause to help him understand more.   

Communicate. Talk about Menopause.

Once you realize what's going on, you can find a way to combat the symptoms and help your moods stay on a more even wave length. I'm very fortunate to have a more experienced and extremely patient Padrone. With his help, I am feeling more like myself than I have in a long time. If you have a dominant, always remember that you are not alone in dealing with this condition. Lean on his shoulder as much as you need to. That's what I do and that in and of itself is priceless. 

Post title: "Submission and Menopause"