Google+MichelleFegatofi Google+Bdsmunveiled BDSM Unveiled. Original BDSM Lifestyle Content - BDSM Relationships

Michelle Fegatofi 12:32 PM 26 April 2016 Comment here!

Post title: "New Improved BDSM Unveiled Coming Soon! "

Michelle Fegatofi 10:01 PM 16 April 2016 2 Comments
Losing yourself in BDSM Submission
Over the past week, I've read several posts on different websites about submissives feeling like they have lost their own sense of self because of the amount of effort, energy, time, and emotions they are investing in their relationship with their Dominant. They feel like they are doing everything for their dominants and not keeping their core selfs intact.

Being a submissive should make you feel positive things, not negative. You should feel loved not alone, found not lost, protected not exposed. Yes, as with any relationship, there will be times that you are in disagreement with your dominant partner and there will be times when you may question your submission. But for the most part, you should want and feel the need to serve your Dominant.

I am fortunate in that I literally spend 24/7 with my Padrone. He takes me everywhere. I go to work with him 6 nights a week and we are usually in the same room together. Now, some might find this stifling or co-dependant behavior, but for us, it's just our normal. There are times when I spend an hour or so in a different room during the day on the rare occasions I'm awake during a time to enjoy a bit of sun. Or, I might take the dogs for a walk but am never gone for more than 30 minutes.

I never feel like I don't have my own identity or that by serving Padrone, with all of the things I do, that I am to caught up in him. He never says anything about what I read or watch on TV. He always encourages me to do what makes me happy and not to stress about things. He has things he enjoys reading and studying on the internet that I have no interest in and I read genres of books that he raises his eyebrows at. But again, we know we are two very different people but we mesh together in a way that is poetic.

For those that are feeling that you have lost your sense of self or own individual identity outside submission, ask yourself why? What is making you feel this way? How long have you felt this? Is it a  bad phase that you are passing through or are there valid reasons? Does your dominant push his point of view onto yours and disregard your feelings? Does your Dom isolate you from family and friends?

You have to sit down and think about your life as a whole, including friends, family, coworkers as well as your dominant. Remember how it was before you met and started submitting to your Dom and how it has changed afterwards.

Pinpoint the differences and write them down. This is what you will need to use to find the balance that you feel you're missing. You have to have balance while submitting to your dominant but also keeping your inner self happy.

Padrone Marco and Slave Michelle Fegatofi
My submission and the decision I made to become Padrone's consensual slave didn't change my identity, but just made me feel as if I had finally found my place in life and the one that I was born to be with. My life has changed drastically from before I met him to now, but my core personality, my sense of self has not changed. If you are with the right person, the right partner, they will not try to change your core values and personality.

Did you give up activities that you really enjoy doing after you submitted? Are you not getting enough 'you time'? Even if you feel the pull to give your entire life over to your dominant to direct as they see fit, you and your Dom have to realize that you both have to have some activities that you like to pursue by yourself. You have to have downtime where you are allowed to think about yourself and pursue your own interests without the interference or obligations of submission.

After you evaluate your life, think of changes you would like to make or introduce into your relationship with your dominant. Most dominants will understand and accept the changes because their number one priority is to ensure the happiness and health of their sub.

Being a submissive or slave to a Dominant should be a joyous event and never seen as negative. Even though you may be the submissive in the relationship, you have to remember to communicate openly and honestly to your dominant about your feelings, whether they are good or bad. Dominants are not mind readers, despite how they may come across. Let them know everything you feel and together, you can work towards a solution that will benefit you both.

Submission is never harmful

Post title: "Losing Yourself in BDSM Submission"

Michelle Fegatofi 9:58 PM 08 March 2016 Comment here!
In honor of National Woman's Day, I'd like to take a moment to recognize all of the women that participate in the BDSM Lifestyle!

Whether you are Dominant, Submissive, or Switch; tall, short, skinny or curvy; You are all awesome!

Female Dominant

Female Submissive

Female Switch

Happy Woman's Day!

Post title: "Celebrating The Women of BDSM"

Michelle Fegatofi 11:08 PM 05 March 2016 1 Comment
Two and a half years ago, Padrone and I got home from work around 6:30 in the morning as usual. We changed clothes, ate, and were relaxing in bed watching TV by 7:15 am. Around 8 am, Padrone said he had a headache. About 10 minutes later, he started complaining of chest pains, leg pains, and being extremely hot. His heart started beating faster also. I told him to call the ambulance.

Now, I'm an American that doesn't speak Italian very well. I didn't know the emergency numbers nor do we have any close friends that we could call for help. 

Luckily, Padrone was calm and lucid enough to call for the ambulance and to tell me to go wait for them outside and bring them up. They arrived with lights flashing and sirens blaring. I have to tell you that I was scared and didn't understand anything they were saying. I had to make myself stay calm and wait for Padrone's instructions. He informed me that his blood pressure was very high and they had to take him to the hospital. He told the EMT's that I didn't speak Italian and asked for them to allow me to ride in the ambulance with him because he knew I had to be with him. 

When we arrived they showed me to a waiting room and said "Stay" and left. I was waiting there for about 45 minutes when a nurse came and led me back to where they had Padrone hooked up to all these machines. Normally they didn't allow any family in the Emergency rooms with the patients but made an exception for me since Padrone told them about my epilepsy and how stress will trigger a bad seizure. He hoped by seeing him that it would keep me calm enough that I wouldn't seize. It worked. I didn't seize. I got to see him and see the meds they were giving him were making him better. At that time, we didn't know exactly what the problem was or if there were other underlying problems that made his blood pressure sky rocket since he never had a history of health problems. 

Even though he was sick, he was thinking of me and wanted to protect me from being too stressed about the situation. He asked me to call his employer and let them know what was going on and then told me to stay as calm as I could because everything was going to be fine. 

Padrone ended up staying in the hospital for 3 days and 2 nights, of which I stayed with him the entire time. When we came home, I was still ok. I had not seized and had done everything asked of me. About 24 hours later, I had a massive seizure. Padrone and I both had been expecting it. It was just a matter of time of when it would hit, after dealing with so many days of a high stress situation.

Life got back to normal and two and a half years passed with no more health scares from Padrone. Then one morning, for no apparent reason about a month ago, Padrone had another high blood pressure attack. He called the ambulance and I started preparing things to go to the hospital just in case. I let the EMTs in and lead them to the apartment. I stayed calm the entire time and did as instructed. Luckily, Padrone's blood pressure wasn't so high that he needed to be hospitalized again. They gave him a shot and his pressure returned to a normal range within five minutes.

I dealt with the situation in a very calm manner and honestly wasn't expecting to have a seizure. I didn't feel one on the horizon. Padrone knew it was coming though. About 24 hours later, after I was confident that he was ok, it struck. Luckily it was only a medium seizure and not a very bad one.

Now things are back to normal and life is moving forward. I learned a few lessons from the two incidents.

  1. Remain calm. If you get hysterical or stressed out, you won't be able to function or help your Dominant in their time of need. 
  2. Have a plan in place! Make sure you have numbers either written down or in your phone of contacts you need to notify of the situation. (Friends, Relatives, Employer)
  3. Don't allow your nervousness to be picked up by your dominant. They need to remain calm and to be assured that you are ok. They know you are worried but they need to know you can take care of yourself during this medical crisis. 
  4. Allow yourself some breathing room when the main crisis is over. You need to come down from the adrenaline, excitement, and worry that has driven you for however long. You have to force it out. 
  5. Don't dwell on the 'what ifs'. You cannot allow yourself to play that game. If you do, you will just make your own stress levels worse and possibly make yourself sick. 
  6. If you live in a foreign country not of your birth, make sure you know the numbers to call in case of emergency!
There are so many different levels of submission and every sub has his or her own strength of character. We always rely so much on our dominants to help us daily deal with life, support us, give us strength and guidance. Most of us lean very heavily on them. It's sometimes hard going from them being the core of our strength to us having to become strong for them. But, when you love someone, when you want to take care of them and stand by them no matter the circumstances, you do whatever it takes. 

I hope you never experience a medical emergency involving your Dominant, but if you do, have a plan in place to make sure you can deal with it without having to think to much. 

Post title: "Submissives Dealing with Emergencies Involving Their Dominants"

Michelle Fegatofi 11:33 PM 22 January 2016 3 Comments
BDSM Reality
I always get emails asking how can I possibly live as a BDSM slave 24/7. I also get told that it's impossible to do in today's world. I get others questioning how do I balance being a slave while dealing with my epilepsy. Along this same line of questioning, I get the naysayers saying it's not possible because my illness takes up to much time.

I do live as a very proud BDSM slave every single day of the week, month, and year. It's very possible and I've proven over the past 4 1/2 years it's very doable.  Of course, it takes constant work from both Padrone and myself but we want this type of relationship and we make it work. 

How do we balance 'normal life stuff' with our M/s dynamic? Simple. We each know our roles. His is Master and mine is as his slave. I always do things that make his life, and in reality both of our lives, run smoother and easier. I never do anything to hurt or antagonize him. He guides me and I listen. Sometimes I am a little hard headed but in the end, I always listen. We always tell the other everything, no matter if it is good, bad or ugly. We try to never use hurtful words to the other. We've learned to never raise our voices during a very rare disagreement.  

No matter what I'm doing, if he calls for me or asks something of me, I stop whatever I was doing and proceed to do what was asked with no complaints or grumbling. Why? Because that's the way a slave behaves and it makes me happy to do it. Every dynamic might not work like this, but ours does. I have no doubts about anything when it comes to Padrone. No reservations or hesitations. That's the kind of trust every slave should have with their Master. I know he would never use me in a way to hurt me or lead me down the wrong path. He always puts my welfare first. 

I have had so many problems with my epilepsy these past few weeks and have been unable to do many of my normal duties but I still do whatever I can. During my down times, Padrone is right there supporting me, helping me in whatever way he can, and just being there for me. He cooks, feeds me, helps me walk when needed, applies medicine to my back, gives me massages, and whatever else he thinks will help. Some people would see this as not being the role of a Master. To me, he is a perfect example of what every Dominant that calls themselves Master should be. He is not switching and taking on the role of sub or slave. He is taking care of his slave, his property, the one he values more than anyone else in the world. Me. 

Is it difficult to deal with epilepsy, especially the weird and ever evolving kind that I have? Yes. It's difficult to just try to live what most people consider a normal life. I have many duties that I consider part of my submissive tasks. Padrone has never assigned any specific tasks to me, I just knew what to do and do them. With the physical manifestations my epilepsy has forced me to deal with this past week, many of these duties have not been accomplished because I am just not able. 

While I feel extremely frustrated, weak, and somewhat of a failure, Padrone never once said that. He constantly tells me how wonderful I am, how brave and beautiful I am to be dealing with so much pain and limitations. He keeps giving me encouraging words that come from his heart because he knows they help take my feeling of failure as a submissive away. 

Being a slave doesn't mean I'm constantly bowing, kneeling, having sex, performing some type of bondage scene, being lead around on a leash, or cleaning the entire house with a toothbrush. That might be someone's reality, but that is not mine. Being a slave, the way we practice an M/s relationship, is anticipating every need Padrone may have. Cooking and cleaning to make him happy and comfortable. Staying by his side so that he sleeps better knowing I'm there. Snuggling and watching TV. Joking, laughing, loving, and living. It encompasses every part of our lives. 

Being his slave means that yes, I am his property. I am his to use and do with as he pleases, anytime he wishes. But I am not a doormat or a quiet mouse. I have my own personality, thoughts and feelings. He has his own way of doing things, feelings and thoughts. But, we are one of the lucky couples that compliment each other perfectly. Our beliefs are the same, our likes, dislikes, and morals are all very similar. He is the perfect dominant to my submissive. 

In good and bad health, no matter what the problem may be, we are always together, supporting and loving each other as best we can. Living with a chronic illness is not fun, but it does not stop me from being a slave 24/7. It may slow down certain activities, but I always do my best and I am always Padrone's slave. 

I encourage those of you that have a chronic illness to not let it get you down and discouraged. Deal with it the best you can. Stay positive and focused, and most of all never give up. You can live a full life and have the type of BDSM relationship you want even while dealing with health problems. You just need to find the perfect fit for you. Or, as Padrone says in his Italian accented English, "Find your purrfect feet!"

Post title: "My Reality of Living as a BDSM Slave 24/7 While Dealing with Epilepsy"
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