Michelle Fegatofi

We all have had these types of people around us in our vanilla lives.

People that are always trying to show everyone around them that their lives are better because they have more expensive stuff, their house is bigger, or they are smarter because they have certain types of educational degrees.

Unfortunately, BDSM isn't any different. Over the years, I have seen both Dominants and submissives buy toys, clothes, and collars all in an attempt to show off. With the influx of people exploring the Lifestyle, this phenomenon has advanced at an epic rate. This is especially prevalent online. Think about your news feeds on the various social media sites you frequent. How much of it is filled with people showing something they bought, a status of what their Dom told them to do and how perfectly they followed it?

Now, here's where you're wondering to yourself, "what's the point of this post?" The point is simple. People do not like a show off, someone that is always trying to 'one up' everybody else. How many times have you been in a group and someone posted something that did nothing to contribute to the overall theme in the group? I have seen it way too much.

If, you are one of these types of people, please rethink the types of things you post. For one, many people in the BDSM community will not take you seriously. Second, most people don't like to be around or interact with show offs. And third, if you say you are a submissive, yet you continuously show off in the above mentioned manner, you are not a real submissive.

A true submissive is humble. They do not flaunt their accomplishments and material possessions continuously. A true submissive is confident enough in his/her self and has no need to virtually yell to the world 'Look At Me!'. A true submissive does not share every detail of their relationship or minute details of their daily tasks and brag how they excelled in completing them.

Just to clarify, I am not talking about sharing significant life events, like collarings or anniversaries, nor am I referring to people that post things every once in a while that they want to share because it's a special occasion. I am speaking to and about those that spam or bombard the news feeds constantly with how perfect they and their lives are.

I have been bombarded with too many 'look at me' and 'I'm the best submissive' posts in my news feeds, groups, and emails this week. I hope this post makes you all take a second look at your own behavior online and in real life. If you think this post is directed at you specifically, then you might just need to think about making changes and reevaluate your life.

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Post title: " I Am A Better Submissive Than You!!! "

Michelle Fegatofi

Well, today's the day!

It's the 3rd anniversary of the day Padrone flew to California to pack me up and bring me back to Italy to live with him as his 24/7 slave.
To celebrate and mark the occasion, we got the same tattoo on our right arms. I know many people don't like or approve this kind of symbolic gesture, but it's a symbol of love and commitment to us.

We definitely have had some huge learning curves, as every relationship does, being from different countries and having a sixteen year age span between us. But, we both learned to compromise on some things and learned to live with others.

Along the way, life has taught us both many things. I know some of you are thinking that as an M/s couple, there should be no compromises on the Master's part. That is simply not true. If a couple are in love and they want to have a lasting relationship, compromise is one of the key ingredients needed.

Padrone has added new rules, changed some rules, and completely eliminated others. We have had the normal ups and downs, but every down has brought us that much closer. You see, during a disagreement, we take it as an opportunity to learn and compromise versus holding grudges.

Here are some basics that we have learned in the past three years as a couple and as a 24/7 M/s dynamic.

1.  Always be truthful, even if your partner might not like what you have to say.
2. Voice your thoughts! Never keep your partner guessing as to what you're feeling.
3. Never make your partner jealous on purpose. That is just childish.
4. Always make time for snuggling. Yes, simple snuggling can make a huge difference in how you feel.
5. Compromise! I can't stress this enough.
6. Don't dwell on small petty things. This can break a relationship.
7. Don't keep bringing up past experiences. You have a past. Everyone does. The trick is to start this relationship with a fresh slate.
8. Always learn from each other.
9. Never take your partner or their contributions to your relationship for granted. Make sure they always know how much you appreciate everything they do.
10. Don't assume. For good or bad, assumptions can lead to trouble you don't need.
11. Always trust in the rules and teachings of your Dominant. 
12. Don't make or cause drama where there is none.

There are many other things that I could list, but the above ones are a good base for anyone to follow. Above all, love, trust and always believe in your partner. 

Padrone Marco and Michelle Fegatofi

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Post title: " I Am a BDSM Collared Slave - Three Years Later "