BDSM Bites and Bruises - How Do I Explain Them?

Kinky bites and bruises can be a little bit like badges of honour, your prize for the gift that you gave to your partner. Your secret memory of the time you spent together. Some people think that having hidden marks after an intense play session with your partner is like wearing sexy underwear to work. Nobody else may know that they are there but you do, feeling them when you sit down or thinking of them.

Sometimes our BDSM activities follow us into our everyday lives in the form of bruises, discolorations or marks left on our skin from a night of scening or S&M play. When we go into work or see family and friends, they look at the marks and immediately want to know what happened and who hurt you.

Many times, people will explain away the marks or bruises with a plausible explanation, such as saying they fell, got bit or scratched from a pet, or had a really weird accident. What do you do when you really don’t have an excuse and definitely don't want to tell them about your sex life?

If you know you have to be in the general vanilla population the next day, be smart about what type of scene or play you participate in. Your butt, boobs and thighs tend to be popular areas for kink related bruises, usually from being spanked, flogged, caned or otherwise beaten. Luckily these are all places that you can hide easily from other people and so shouldn’t cause you too many problems. If you have marks on your wrists, ankles or throat from cuffs or fingers, you may find these harder to hide and/or explain, but these can be avoided by experimenting with different types of cuffs and restraints and finding those which work best for you.

If you want to be bound, use thigh or upper arm restraints so that you can easily wear clothing to cover the evidence. If you insist on using wrist or ankle restraints, use a soft padded cloth next to your skin to lessen the damage handcuffs and ropes can do. This can prevent what for most would be very embarrassing questions.

Immediately after a scene, Aftercare should be given by the Dominant to help the submissive recover from heavy impact play. Along with providing comfort and helping the sub to come down from "subspace", attention needs to be paid to the care of the submissive's skin. Rubbing generous amounts of aloe and arnica lotions or creams into the skin will sooth the affected areas and reduce any swelling and redness.

If you have bruises or marks that are still visible, invest in a really good makeup coverup. Dermablend is a very heavy make up that can cover the darkest bruises. I suggest using a powder to set it and help prevent it from wearing off on your clothing fast. For dark, black-and-blue bruises, cover with yellow corrective concealer. If the bruise is more red, you’ll want to use green concealer. Bruises may look different on people with darker and lighter skin tones than I, and may require different makeup.

In essence, just be careful when you play. Make sure you know the consequences of any bruises that might be seen. And always practice safe, sane, and consensual scenes.

If you have anything you would like to add to this topic, please leave them in the comments section below.