I am not speaking about people that are in a Poly group/relationship where every member knows about the others and are ok with it. I am talking about people that tend to have many submissives, yet still continue to flirt with others in a sexual or mental way. These types of dominants usually do not have the time they need to devote to their current submissives, thus leaving the subs feeling lacking for attention, that somehow they did something to make the dominant ignore them, or just plain depressed.
It is not uncommon for Sub Collectors to collar people quickly. The Collector is inclined to view the size of their collection of submissives as a sign of their prowess as a Dominant. This does not necessarily mean that a Collector cannot be a skilled Dominant; what is usually the case is the contrary, as many of this subtype can easily assume one or more Dominant roles in order to succeed at attracting submissives.
On the other hand, maintaining a balance within the group is not always a priority for them. It is also not uncommon for Collectors to be unwilling to provide the attention or nurturing that a submissive in their care might desire, and many Collectors are quite up-front about it. This results in a high turnover of submissives for most Collectors – new submissives come in, but also many frustrated submissives leave.
Are Sub Collector Doms what a lot of people in the Lifestyle refer to as a "fake"?
They can be. One sure sign of a fake dominant, especially those that appear online only, is the amount of females they try to friend, message, and talk to. There is a difference between friendly chatter and flirting. If the dominant starts flirting, hinting that you need to submit to him, become his, or pay homage to him very fast after you just met him, RUN/BLOCK/DELETE! I bet there are many others that he is having the exact same conversation with.
What's the difference between a Sub Collector Dom and a Poly Dom?
A Poly Dom is a dominant that happens to be involved with 2 or more submissives. In a poly situation, all parties involved know about the others and all understand what is going on.
There are no secrets kept and many of them are in committed relationships with each other.
There are some Poly doms that have multiple submissives which are not committed to a relationship and their submissives may have other partners also, but again, all are aware of what is going on.
A Sub Collector Dom may not tell all of the different women he is talking to about the others he already has on the hook. He also may have his own submissives but then have many other subs that he 'protects or trains'.
In the instances that I have seen this to be the case, the Sub Collector Dom is usually only collecting naked or erotic pictures and videos from those under training or his protection but not receiving anything in return.
What can I do to avoid a Collector?
Make sure you take your time to get to know them and not rush into anything. This type of mistake can get you hooked and hurt before you ever realize what is going on. Talk to the dominant's friends and ask about their character. Just be vigilant and keep your eyes open.
This is very good. Thank you for posting this.
ReplyDeleteAwesome! Thanks for posting this.
ReplyDeleteEye and mind opener Thank you
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the biggest threats in O/our lifestyle; thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this timely article. I was blindly led into such a "poly" situation where I was kept in the dark about other females and things turned really ugly when they got found out. I have not been able to walk away from this messed up relationship for the past 2.5 years and it's hurting me like crazy. ~ serena renee brann
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately it is too late for me because I met one of them.Thank you so much for posting this.
ReplyDelete