BDSM Unveiled Talk Tuesday for 24 February 2015

This week's Talk Tuesday topics are once again very diverse subjects. I think many of you will learn new things because I have not written about these topics before. This week's topics cover "Collaring", "Submissive having more Career Success than the Dominant", and "Dominants dealing with Chronically ill Subs".

Question #1) "I have a vanilla relationship. We discussed about bdsm a few years ago and figured out that this is nothing for us. But for me I ask myself sometimes, why am I so sick and have such feelings. I told nothing to my wife and fight against my feelings, tried to life my unfilled vanilla Life. I can't tell her about other women, especially to go to women and pay for them.


So far so good, that's my situation. Ok, one time I decided to pay for women instead of starting a new relationship for finding my inclinations. And then I met Lady V! She opens mind. She will come in two weeks back in town and I will meet her again. I think I have to talk to her very much about the first Time with her, my feelings and which way we will continue. And here is my most important question: How can I tell Lady V that I want to become her slave and that I want to find out more about feelings?"

The first point I have to make is that you are not having 'sick feelings' just because you enjoy being a submissive male to a female dominant. It's just a part of who you are. Never be sorry or feel ashamed of that. Now, as far as your vanilla wife, you have to determine yourself how much it will hurt her if your relationship with Lady V is discovered. I would honestly consider all ramifications if she ever found out before entering into a secret relationship. As far as becoming Lady V's submissive/slave, you would first need to make a formal request to her and ask if she would put you under consideration for the privilege of becoming her sub or slave in the future. Then the conversation will go from there between the two of you.

I suggest you read the following article to find out about Collaring:
bdsmunveiled.blogspot.com/2013/01/all-about-collars


Question #2) "My submissive is more successful than I am in her work career. She makes much more money and is in a very high profile position. When it comes to our relationship, I am completely in control and she is very submissive to me. Even so, I sometimes feel that she doesn't need me and am slightly jealous of her career success. How do I balance being her Dominant while curbing my jealousy about her career success?"

That is not an easy situation to be in. You have to remember that you both have the option to walk away at anytime and you both choose to stay in the relationship. If she cared about your wealth or career success, she would not have chosen to continue to stay with you as her Dominant. You obviously provide something that she can only find when she submits to you. I suggest you focus on your relationship and being the best dominant you can to her and not worry about career and money situations outside of that. If you are not happy in your own career choices, why not think about changing jobs or going back to school to gain the skills you need to apply for a higher paying job?


Question #3) "Have any of you had a huge fight with your Sir or Ma'am and just cant shake it?? Even after apologies were said? I have on going health problems, one being chronic pain. Sometimes, i have major anxiety attacks. Right now i'm in the grieving process i'm in anger. My Mistress said today ' I just don't know how to deal with you anymore'" 

I have two trains of thoughts on this. First, is that your Mistress may not have meant that and was just frustrated at the time because of you having multiple ongoing health problems. It is really tough for some people to deal with and they do the best they can, but can never really understand what we go through (I deal with a rare form of Epilepsy so understand your situation somewhat). If you think this is the case, then you need to talk to her and tell her about your frustrations and how her words hurt. You might also make suggestions to her if there are things she can do when you are feeling bad to help you feel better.

My second thoughts are that she may not be a person that can handle someone with a chronic illness. Not all people can and you should not blame them if they can not. But, if that is the case, I strongly suggest you ask for release. If you continue down this path, you both will just become more and more frustrated over time and the end results are never good for either party. If you haven't sought help for your anxiety problems, I encourage you to try to find professional psychological help. Never be ashamed to ask for help in any situation.

I hope you enjoyed this week's Talk Tuesday topics and you learned something new. If you have your own question you would like us to answer, please send an email to bdsmunveiled @ gmail.com.