February 2, 2013

BDSM Submissive Journaling - To Write or Not To Write

Many Dominants ask their submissives to write a journal describing their feelings, their growth and their wants and needs, along with their frustrations concerning their submission.
I myself, don't keep a journal because whenever I have any feelings, good, bad, or ugly, I talk to my Padrone about them. I have seen many subs do keep journals, so decided to do a post about it, mainly for newbies, explaining why. Hope this helps you decide if you will keep one or not.

BDSM Submissive Journaling

While talking face to face may be the best way to communicate, sometimes this just isn’t possible. A submissive can be a novice, shy, embarrassed, or intimidated. With the age of the internet, distance can also be a roadblock in good communication. Dominants have to use tools to help the submissive communicate and grow.


As well as a tool for gaining insight, submissive journals can help teach you to open up and bring you both closer. By having to expose your thoughts and feelings to your Dominant - and having to trust Him with those thoughts and feelings - it can be a very powerful way of strengthening your connection. A journal should not replace the open communication between submissive and dominant. It should be used as a tool to build trust and skills in voicing the feelings a submissive has written about.

                                           

Why would you choose to journal? As a submissive you can write everything you feel and do it without being afraid of reprisal. It is an avenue that allows you to just say whatever you want, even mundane things. It can help you organize your own thoughts into a more comprehensive way or give you that different perspective on some situation that you need. If you are too deep into a situation, you usually think with emotions instead of logic. So, perhaps you will use your journal to analyze that particular situation more.



You can use it as a history lesson of sorts; while you journal your thoughts, experiences, and changing attitudes towards certain things. You might write about new likes or write about things you found you don't like as much as you thought you would, once you tried it.

Remember that your journal is always open for your Dominant/Master to read. don't censor what you write in it because of this fact. Think of it as a better and easier way for your Dominant to get inside your head and understand you better as a person and submissive.


If you are the Dominant, make sure that you do not let anything your submissive writes in the journal anger you. If you see that your sub called you bad names in it, you just have to ask them why so you can help your sub get on the same page and path as you are and understand better whatever situation made them so angry.


So, to write or not to write? It is a personal choice and totally up to the individual. I write many blog posts on things I come across in my daily life so I guess, in a way, this blog is like a journal and learning tool for others as well.

2 comments:

  1. i have a journal that is public but before i write in it i do talk to my Master first at all times. if there is a time that i have something to say and i feel the NEED to write i will email Him first then copy and paste it. i think it is a great tool for newbies especially. many will be shocked to watch how much they have grown in a years time.

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  2. I had my trust in journaling destroyed by my stepmother. My Dom and I have open communication, so while it's been mentioned before as a maybe he sees no point in requiring it. I'm sure we've still ways we can improve on our communication, but those will take time and understanding anyway.

    For those who can journal, it can be a very cathartic experience. There's few things more helpful than being able to get your thoughts and feelings down where you can just look at them, and it really is a huge trust builder if your D-type can pull off reading and discussing it without using it against you. That, in the end, will have to be something you two decide.

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