I saw a movie years ago called The Stepford Wives, which I’ve been told is a remake from 1975, but I haven’t seen the original. The premise of the movie is that men have control of their wives by microchip and they even come with a remote control! The main character was an executive but is recovering from a nervous breakdown and she’s the one who finds out the truth about the women. The twist is, at the end of the movie, that the wife of the main “husband in charge” is NOT controlled, but rather it is her husband who is a robot! She wanted to recreate the 1950′s housewives because she thought it was the way women were meant to be as wives.
Want to know the truth? I couldn’t agree more!! Not the actual remote control part, mind you, but that a woman should be submissive to their partners/husbands like they did back then.
That’s probably a dangerous thing to say in 2013, though, because of the way most people (especially women) look at women’s “rights”. Feminists (non BDSMers) despise women being submissive. They see it as major steps backwards in all of the ground that their female predecessors made.
I see both sides and it is my opinion that a female should be able to choose how she lives her life without being maligned by other women. If a woman wants to work and be on equal footing with her partner, or have that partner even be the submissive one, then I don't see anything wrong with that. I, however, chose a different path.
I have been on both sides. I was in a high corporate position for many years before I quit and became a housewife. That was in 2004. I have to say that I was not happy with being a housewife for the longest. It was very hard transitioning from working 60+ hours a week to being a stay at home mom/wife. I do look back now and cherish every second that I was with my children. I was there for all the firsts and was able to shape their personalities in a much different way than had I still been working.
Another factor you have to take into account is the relationship. I was not in a good relationship then. But, for the past 1 1/2 years, I have been a 24/7 slave aka Domestic Goddess aka 1950s style housewife and I absolutely adore it. I do work on the internet but it is from the house. I do all the housework, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of every need my Padrone (Master) has.
Webster’s Dictionary defines to submit in this way: To give over or yield to the power or authority of another. Did you catch the word yield in there? A woman who is submissive to her partner/husband is yielding to him, not being controlled by him! Submitting is not the same as being a subordinate, which is defined as: Belonging to a lower order or rank; subject to or under the authority of a superior.
My Padrone doesn’t order me around like a military commander. He doesn’t demand anything from me because I already give him everything willingly. He adores and cherishes me. He treats me really well and he always puts me first (which does not equal getting everything I want, by the way). So, when he gives his view or opinion on a decision he has made for our lives, I don’t have to struggle, because I know he has our family’s best interest in mind. I never question his decisions. We talk about things – sure – but his word is the ultimate decision. When he asks me to do something, whether it’s to massage his feet, or that I bake his favorite cookies, I want to do it. I want to please him! It makes me happy on a level that I can not explain to do anything for him, especially if it is something he has asked of me.
Our relationship is based on the BDSM principle of Master/slave, but it's a much softer kind of dynamic than that of which is portrayed in main stream BDSM. He always comes first, no matter what I am doing. His wishes take precedence over everyone and everything, including my own. We do have what I would call a much stricter version of a 1950s style household, as he has rules and guidelines in place guiding every part of my life (where I can go alone, how far I can go, what I can wear, when I am supposed to check in, etc). But, even though it is always a 24/7 M/s dynamic, it also resembles much of a 1950s style home.
I want to share a magazine article from the 1950′s geared toward being a better housewife:
There are only a few things on here that are just silly – most are dead on!! The last one, “A good wife always knows her place”, has been made to seem like that place is a place of subordination, but it’s not. Yeah, I know my place. It’s as a well-treated, well cared for, loved and cherished submissive, whose Padrone is head of the house.
I think that back then, women enjoyed being women and doing womanly things more than they did today. They embraced their softer sides and rejoiced in being submissive to their Man.
i loved this!! before i had a definition for my personality i figured the housewife was just who i am. i got so much ridicule for deciding to stay home and raise my family. no one could understand how a promising medical student could give it all up. it works for me. still to the day women just dont get it. adding the D/s to our dynamic was a great fit and we are both so fulfilled. thanks for writing this :D
ReplyDeleteI'm always happy to hear there are others out there that still like being submissive to their man. The D/s does add a whole different dynamic that many don't understand.
ReplyDeleteFor as long as I can remember,this is all I have ever wanted. To be a housewife, to cook and clean and take care of the kids. Involved in school and ballet or soccer, this is the life I long to live. After being introduced to BDSM, I felt I had found everything I had always yearned for. I completely agree being a 50's housewife kind of gal in a D/s relationship would be absolute heaven for me. I am not currently in a relationship, as it is hard to find others in "the life" in my location. Hopefully one day I shall find this. I love your blog, it is wonderful!!
ReplyDeleteThank you. i got a lot of flack from this post from feminists when I first posted this. But, as I said, there are so many different people out there in the world and yes, we old fashioned ones still exist.
Deletei would love to find a good old fashion housewife to love and cherrish
ReplyDeleteKeep looking and I have faith you will one day find the perfect one.
DeleteTHANK GOD FOR THIS POST! My husband and I are VERY kinky and we are VERY much into BDSM. But, for the last 6 months since I have been home (due to the desire to become a Stepford Wife), we feel we live it 24/7 with me as his cherished housewife (a la Stepford Wives) and him as the strong head of household. Yet we JUST got told by a BDSM group that ours is not a D/s relationship because "there's no punishment." Well pissing him off is a pretty good one, and I try to avoid that one at ALL COSTS. Then they say "he's not taking enough control for it to be D/s. You have too much autonomy" and I just felt sad. So I googled "housewife BDSM" and landed here. There are tears in my eyes because now I know that we really do fit into the community. And we don't need to have any other dynamic than the one we DO currently have. Just because nobody knows unless we tell them (or they see our elaborate bedroom/sex dungeon) doesn't make it less kinky. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
ReplyDeleteI have been looking for such an article very well put and a wonderful aspect on the bdsm 1950s lifestyle
ReplyDelete