I can't believe how fast 2016 has come and gone. So much has happened this year. If you keep up with world events, you know about all the wars and acts of terrorism that has plagued so many countries and innocents. The crazy political race in the USA, the rise of racism and the feeling that the world is devolving instead of evolving. To sum it up, this past year sucked.
I have been agonizing over how to write an inspirational post for year's end and have almost pulled all my hair out trying to come up with an upbeat topic or theme. I tried and failed. Finally, after discussing it in depth with my Padrone, he told me to write what I feel and just get it out there. So, that's exactly what I'm doing.
I found myself dealing with my own personal health issues more than normal. I couldn't concentrate like I wanted to on the world of BDSM, my writing, and the blog. I admit that a lot of the year I floated along, not really feeling or able to drudge up the intense feeling I always have had for the lifestyle. Instead, I was focused more on world events and my own family.
Padrone has been my rock and a constant source of support no matter how bad I felt or how far I veered from my own submissive path. He has loved and guided me through some dark times and been there for me for the beautiful ones. He helped me think through situations and answer questions I just didn't have answers for.
I have had the support of many friends, but one in particular has been that shoulder I leaned on and my sounding board when needed. Sharon has been my own personal cheerleader, even when I lost faith in my own abilities. Many of my articles this past year were inspired by conversations I had with her. I couldn't have ever asked for a better, unwavering friend than this special lady.
When I write posts, I feel like I have to try to make them BDSM related as well as educational. I always also try to write inspirational words to help people that may be struggling in life. But what happens when the one that writes the inspirational words has nothing to say? What do I do then? I ended up doing nothing. I didn't write. I went for weeks and even months staring at blank pages. For me, my writing is a source that people from around the world can read and connect to their own personal situation that they may be encountering at that time. It's something to help guide and inspire them to a different path.
In years past, the internet was always hopping with new people asking questions, interested in really learning about what the BDSM lifestyle could possibly offer them. There was a constant influx of new questions, curiosity seekers, fake and real dominant and submissives. You could go to any number of groups and find ongoing discussions of any number of various topics. This past year has dwindled to a trickle of people and so many pages and groups across all forms of social media have dried up. Now, it seems like people are mostly complaining about what they don't like or showing off what they have that others want but can't get. I miss serious Q&A where so many people participate.
I find myself thinking about what I can do to get back onto a learning path and get people interested once again in the educational side of BDSM versus the sex part. I decided to turn my focus from world events and simply live, love and work within the world that I am already inhabiting: BDSM. I can't control anything that's going on with wars or politics. I can't do anything about the refugee crisis. Heck, I can't even really do anything to make my epilepsy better. But I ask myself what can I do?
I can control what I watch and read about. I can control how I decide to live my life. I want to dive into 2017 with a new outlook. I want to start participating in more BDSM related groups and helping more newbies find their journey into the lifestyle. I want to concentrate on my own submission with my Padrone and share more of my daily experiences about our dynamic. I think I need to do this, not just want to.
This is where I would normally reinforce the main message that I'm trying to get across, but honestly, this time there really isn't one. I will encourage you to take the time to simplify your life as much as you can. Spend more time with your family and friends talking and just being connected. Don't try to take the world too seriously and don't allow all the bad things that's happening around the globe to poison your own life. Try everyday to be thankful for what you have and not dwell on what you don't. Get back to the basics of life and in most of my readers lives, basics of the BDSM lifestyle.
Try to be just a little nicer person and a little less cynical. Try to be happy. That's what life should be about. Happiness, love, friendships, and connections.
Make 2017 into whatever you decide you want it to be. Don't allow it to make you into something you're not.
From Padrone Marco and myself, have a healthy, happy and safe new year!
December 31, 2016
December 8, 2016
BDSM Christmas or Holiday Present Ideas
During the Holiday season, it can be very difficult to purchase presents for that special someone in your life. Now that you are either thinking about or have already started to explore the world of BDSM, you may want to add some Lifestyle related packages under the tree for your partner.
For people that have no or little experience, here is a list of items that you may want to include in what I like to refer to as a 'BDSM Starter Kit'. They include safe items that you can incorporate into your sex life to help the transition from a missionary vanilla style to a more Kink based exploration.
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For people that have no or little experience, here is a list of items that you may want to include in what I like to refer to as a 'BDSM Starter Kit'. They include safe items that you can incorporate into your sex life to help the transition from a missionary vanilla style to a more Kink based exploration.
BDSM Starter Kit |
- Educational Books about the BDSM Lifestyle (Books of this type can help your partner to better understand BDSM but also help them begin to understand themselves more in depth)
- Restraints with Velcro Quick Release
- Soft Paddles
- Flavored/Edible Lubes
- Blindfolds
- Items for Sensory Play (Feather, soft fabric, etc)
If you have been in the BDSM scene for a while and want to advance your S&M play or just want to get a special present for your partner, I recommend commissioning a Whip or Flogger from a reputable maker in the materials and colors you specify.
Christmas Flogger Present |
If you are looking to get your partner a gift that is not sex toy related, then some of these ideas might be perfect for you:
- Erotica Books by their Favorite Author
- Body Frangrances
- Specalized BDSM related Jewerly (including new collars)
- Lingerie (Leather, Latex, Lacey)
- Candles or Aromatherapy fragrances
- Floor cushion for the submissive
- Day Spa trips
- Massages
- Special symbol tattooed
Any of these items could be expanded to include a huge list, but I wanted to go with a small general list of ideas to help those of you that had no idea what you wanted to buy for your partner.
I hope you enjoy these ideas and they help you have a wonderful and gift filled holiday season!
If you have any more ideas or holiday hints you would like to contribute, please leave them in the comment section below!
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