Tolerance in the BDSM Community

Practicing tolerance requires a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions, beliefs, and practices that differ from your own. It is giving to every other human being every right that you claim for yourself. Put simply, tolerance means keeping an open mind when interacting with others who are different from you, and treating everyone with respect and compassion, even when you don't share their opinions or values.

I was looking through my friends and followers lists on FB and G+ today and was absolutely amazed by the wide variety of people I saw there! Men, women, transgenders, cross dressers, gay, straight, bisexual and every race, country, and religion you could imagine. It amazes me more and more each time I stop and think how blessed I am to have each and every one of you in my life. Having a broad range and variety of followers, friends and family gives me hope for the future of this world and for the BDSM Community itself.

Have you ever been scrolling through a BDSM related web page or site and come across activities that you would never do? Or, have you ever seen a picture that caught your eye and you stopped to read the comments and saw where someone wrote disparaging or just completely rude/abusive remarks? Don't be that person! Remember, as a part of the BDSM community, you should have a very open mind, even though that may mean you don't practice every attribute that is under the BDSM umbrella.

I have heard and seen many of these types of intolerant comments around the internet from people that say they themselves practice an alternative lifestyle. How can this be? How hypocritical! Just because someone lives or practices BDSM in a different way does not mean it's wrong. BDSM is a very large umbrella with an infinite number of combinations. I, as well as most other practitioners of the Lifestyle, advocate a policy that states if everything is consensual and everyone involved understands all that is going on, then nothing done is wrong.

There are many things that fall under a BDSM category that I would never do or practice, but obviously many in the world would; just as there are ways in which Padrone and I practice our own approach to a M/s Lifestyle. Tolerance should not be something we have to think about, it should just be something we automatically do.

As practitioners and advocates of what is known in the mainstream community world wide as a deviant lifestyle, we have an inherent understanding of what it means to deal with intolerance from others. Don't be that person! If you see something you disagree with and want to comment on, make sure that you do so in a manner that can't be misconstrued to be rude or antagonizing. If you have a different point of view to argue, do it to get the point across without causing adverse feelings in others. Remember, Tolerance also begins with language. Rather than using evaluative/judgmental words like good/bad, right/wrong learn to use words like different or unique.

If you don't agree with certain practices in the community, ignore it and don't practice it. But, keep an open mind for those that do like and practice certain aspects consensually. Help show the mainstream world that even though we are a huge and different group, we stand together united. Develop your sense of adventure. Without diversity, life would be dull, boring and very predictable. It is exactly the differences that others bring to our life, that enrich us.

Hold on to what is good about you. Hold on to what is good about those you meet. And enjoy the freedom and enjoyment that comes with practicing open mindedness and tolerance each and every day. And hopefully others will meet you with the same open mindedness and tolerance.