BDSM Unveiled Talk Tuesday for November 11, 2014

Today's questions span a variety of subjects, from 'what a Dominant is' to 'how to find a mentor'.

Be sure to read the links that I have listed after each question to become more informed about each of today's topics.

Question #1) "Many people go to school to get Certificates in various fields. After all when you receive a service you want some documentation that the person offering the service knows what he or she is doing. What makes a Master a Master? When someone says they are a professional Dominant what makes that so? Is it their number of years in the Lifestyle, what were they doing all of those years to develop skills as a Dominant or to maintain their skills. Just because a person has dominant tendencies what allows him to call himself a Master?"

This is a question that could be answered in many ways, depending on who you ask. First, let's address what exactly a Professional Dominant is. These are people who are Dominants for hire. They dominate people, have sessions with them, for a price. You usually see more women (Mistresses) than men in these types of roles.

Now, to address the difference between a Dominant and a Master. A dominant is a person that is in a role of authority over another person. This is a person that has a naturally dominant character. A dominant can be a male or female. They normally do not do it for money. They consider themselves Dominants instead of a Master because they have submissives and not slaves. They usually only dominate in the bedroom or certain parts of a sub's life, but not in every part of a sub's life.

A Master is someone that usually has years of experience and knowledge in the lifestyle. They have a submissive that is usually submissive 24/7 and many times consider the submissive to be a slave. They know their slave so deeply that many times they anticipate the needs of the slave without any words being said.

Many times, people can and will interchange the terms Dominant and Master. New people with no experience will call themselves Master just because they think they deserve the title. In my humble opinion, someone can't be a Master without ever having owned a slave, just as a submissive

can't be a slave without ever having been owned and served a Master.

For further reading on related subjects:

Master Taino's BDSM Philosophy

Submissive vs Slave

What Type of Submissive are You

Titles and Classifications in BDSM

Question #2) "My life all the time was one vanilla. Now since year and a half ago, I met a man and I fell in love with him. We spend time daily talking and talking. And he said that he wants to collar me and start training me. One of the hardest things (for me) is the he wants to own a slave, me. 

Honestly I don't like the idea and it makes me feel sick. I can't see him with another woman and I can't imagine being with another woman touching or licking for real. But he desire that with me. We have a huge disagreement that day. The next day I told him that I used to masturbating me thinking on something like that and I said him that maybe I can do it for real... for him not for me.
Honestly I don't think I will feel happy with that .. and I don't know what to do, every time he said something about that I turn angry and upset. I need some kind of light in this moment. I will appreciate every word that you for me, all this Master/slave is so new for me and many things catch my attention a lot but this ones is hurting me a lot."

First, never do anything that you do not want to do. BDSM is all about Safe, Sane, and Consensual. If he demands you do something that is against your will, say no and walk away. Being a slave in BDSM is a complete consensual thing. It is solely the choice of the submissive to give their submission to a dominant. It does not mean that you really are owned like property. If you aren't comfortable with being a slave but you are intrigued by becoming a submissive, try that first. I strongly encourage you to read everything you can find about BDSM in general and concentrate on the role of a submissive. 

I recommend you read these websites in depth to learn more about the BDSM lifestyle:

www.bdsmunveiled.com

www.submissiveguide.com

Question #3) "How does one find a mentor and what exactly are the duties of a mentor?"

There are many ways to find a mentor in BDSM. Becoming friends online with someone that is known and has been involved in the Lifestyle for a long time. Also, going to munches and making friends might help you find a mentor.

In my opinion, a mentor is someone that will answer questions and concerns that you have and help guide you, but not lead you as a dom leads a sub. A good mentor will give you options to a problem and step back to allow you to choose the path you want to take. They will help you navigate the lifestyle but will not put you on a path. 

Here are some helpful links for further reading:

Submissive Guide Four Things to Look for in a Mentor

The Role of a Mentor

I hope the questions above have helped broaden your knowledge in different BDSM topics. If you have a question you want me to address, email us at bdsmunveiled@gmail.com.