May 29, 2013

BBW in BDSM

Being a BBW, that's the acronym for Big Beautiful Woman for those who don't know, and kinky can be challenging in a multitude of ways.

One of the ways in which it isn't challenging is in finding play partners that are attracted to full figured women.

Play partners are attracted to full figured women.

It is a myth that attractive, educated, intelligent, witty men are only attracted to women that resemble prepubescent boys wearing short skirts and sporting a set of inflatable boobs. Think I'm just assuaging a jealousy I won't admit to? Do a Google search for "BBW porn". I did, just to have statistical information to support my claim - and you'll get a listing of roughly 25,600,000 sites to chose from. Honestly, if there wasn't a demand for it, would there be so many sites dedicated to offering and charging for access to it? And that is just one search phrase on one search engine.

"how did she get him?"

In my experience I have seen thin women ask in astonishment, "how did she get him?" when seeing a BBW being escorted by an attractive and buff male. It's annoying. The insinuation is like saying that attractive men are not from the same species as plus sized women, as if we have to perform some black magic trick or drug them into finding us desirable.

Keep this in mind when you are thinking about your submission.

If do not carry yourself with pride, you are not showing the world and your Dominant how proud you are to be a submissive.

  • If do not carry yourself with pride, you are not showing the world and your Dominant how proud you are to be a submissive.
  • If you are self-conscious during a scene or playtime, you are not being submitting to your Dominant because you should not care what you look like, but only pleasing and obeying. 
  • If you are always worrying about being graceful or looking silly when in some submissive position your Dominant puts you in, your mind is not in submissive mode, but elsewhere. 
Your goal is to please your Dominant, no matter the situation, so you have to let go of all of the negative body images you think about yourself and say, 'you know I like what I see because it's all me!'

'you know I like what I see because it's all me!'

Don't let a negative body image distract you, take away your pleasure, or ruin your submission.

  1. Appreciate all that your body can do.  Every day your body carries you closer to your dreams.  Celebrate all of the amazing things your body does for you — running, dancing, breathing, laughing, dreaming, etc.
  2. Keep a top-ten list of things you like about yourself — things that aren’t related to how much you weight or what you look like. Read your list often. Add to it as you become aware of more things to like about yourself.
  3. Remind yourself that “true beauty” is not simply skin deep.  When you feel good about yourself and who you are, you carry yourself with a sense of confidence, self-acceptance, and openness that makes you beautiful regardless of whether you physically look like a supermodel.  Beauty is a state of mind, not a state of your body.
  4. Look at yourself as a whole person. When you see yourself in a mirror or in your mind, choose not to focus on specific body parts. See yourself as you want others to see you – as a whole person.
  5. Avoid looking at fashion magazines or catalogs that endorse emaciated women as the beauty ideal.
  6. Throw the scale away!!!
  7. Never forget You ARE Good enough!
Start today so you can become not only a better submissive, but a more confident person.

Become not only a better submissive, but a more confident person.

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24 comments:

  1. Hi, im reading your text, you refer, to atractive men as skinny men, Im a Big Biutiful Man, BBM, sadly Black berry messengewr hugs all the searchs

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    1. You are taking the post out of context. It is meant to show BBWs they can get any man they want, skinny, athletic, big, tall, short, whatever. It's about what's inside not out. It's about a female submissive getting over her body image issues and not allowing it to get in the way of her submission.

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  2. stunning and all so true post i applaud your insight and bravery for stating what is the hardest hurdle for a bbw sub or dom for that matter. please continue to write such insightful blogs i for one will be reading.

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  3. It irritates me, when enjoying streams like the on on G+ where I encountered your post, to see nothing but stock size two models. Thank you for this!

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  4. Hoorah, common sense. (And a reminder to me about some aspects of submission!)

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  5. Thank you both. I'm glad you enjoyed it and hope you comeback to read more soon.

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  6. Thank you for this post! I really needed to read it for myself :)

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    1. You are welcome and remember, Only your mind can hold you back from submitting fully, not your body.

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  7. I'm a BBW. Sometimes I need to remind myself of that. Over the years my self esteem has plumeted due to being in abusive "vanilla" relationships. I have been drawn to the lifestyle for the structure of communication and having to form a bond with each other for it to work. I know there is a man out there that will love me for who I am and be proud for me to walk with them. So for when that time comes I have to work at being the best me I can. Never taking a day for granted and believe that I am BEAUTIFUL no matter what is said to me or about me.

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  8. I am marrried to the sexiest most stunning BBW in the world,well i am biased.Thankyou for your amazing insight and the true belief that beauty is in the eye of the beholder..real women have curves

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  9. This is a wonderful post with beautiful pictures. Thank you for taking the time to write about this topic.

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  10. If you are happy and healthy, then you are beautiful. And if you think you are beautiful and carry yourself as such, then there are many out there who will agree with you.

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  11. I love this site, the amount I'm on it and commenting probably shows that lol, but this. THIS is amazing. The one part that sounded odd, you've put into context on the first comment/reply.
    I'm. BBW, and submissive in a D/s relationship! for 7 years. I have low self esteem, and could do with this post on my screen to remind me that BBW's are beautiful strong and loved the world over everyday.

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  12. This is a beautiful site and I am soooo pleased I found it ive never seen anything like it! the pictures you have are amazing its really lovely to see bbw's portrayed as the beautys we are : )

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  13. Your site is great! I love the beautiful pictures of the bbw's showing all the rest of us bbw's just how amazing we all are, plus I was happy to read some of the other comments on here from other ladys that part take in bdsm its something I would like to look into but was a little unsure because of my size so its very reassuring to know there are plenty of big beautiful women out there enjoying the life style : )

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  14. Yes, #6 on your list!! I can't stand it when women track their weight on a daily basis. What's the point? accept who you are and that you are beautiful!

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  15. I may not be into BDSM (I just read a bit of your blog for general culture, and I find it very well-written, might I add), but the message you give here about confidence in being a BBW is a great lesson for everyone, not just submissives/dominants/switches. I have a lot of complexes regarding my body, so I often need to remember that my bf loves me as I am. This helped me remember it. Thank you for writing this.

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  16. I have just started reading your blog. I wish I had found it earlier in my life. But it is important we love ourelves first, especialy our body since that is ours to give. The BBW has much to share and giving it with joy is wonderful for her and her Dom/me.

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  17. Thank you dearly for this post! What a rarity it is, that someone writes an article that supports full figured women as being beautiful and sexy. Most articles everywhere only portray perfect bodied women, making it seem like they are the only ones worthy of being desired, and making full figured women feel awful and inadequate about their bodies.

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